SportsCrack Blog

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

The new Irish Shamrock 33: Gazelle T-shirt


If you have seen #33 run you know he runs like a Gazelle.  On pace for nearly 2000 yards rushing, we felt it was time to give him the SportsCrack Shamrock treatment.




 The new SHAKE 'N BAKER t-shirt was inevitable after seeing moves like this...



...and reached epic college football proportions after Baker Mayfield's brilliant performance in Columbus to slay the Buckeyes and plant the flag right into their "O"...



Now the back-to-back Heisman finalist is looking to shake 'n baker his team back to the playoffs and get the Sooners their first Natty since 2000.  With Baker's flair on the field and off it we wouldn't be surprised to see Oklahoma making a trip to Atlanta in January.  Just don't try to outrun the Fayetteville cops Baker.

BUY HERE: SHAKE 'N BAKER THE TOUCHDOWN MAKER SHIRT
Shake 'N Baker The Touchdown Maker Shirt

Monday, August 28, 2017

ESPN Suspends Ryen Russillo After Naked, Drunk Arrest

Michigan Reveals All-Maize Uniforms vs Florida and they are HIDEOUS


Holy West Virginia-wannabe's Batman!  I don't know what they have been drinking up in Ann Arbor lately but they need help and need to check themselves into uniform rehab immediately.

 
This all-maize look is just painful to these college football loving eyes.  While I'm not a Michigan fan by any stretch of the words I've always kind of liked their uniforms.  The helmet is classic and the "maize and blue" uniforms look good when the dominant color is blue.  But this all-maize jersey and pants make me want to puke.  It's bad enough they sold their "blue blood" souls and I use that term real loosely since they have one split National Title in the last 70 years when last year they put a fucking basketball logo on a football uniform but now they gotta go and make it painful to even look at them.  What in the Harbaugh is going on up there in Ann Arbor?  It looks like they had to put dark visors on the helmets to tone down the awfulness of seeing ones self in these uniforms.
Come on Michigan you are better than this.  Stop whoring yourself out to the Nikes and Jordan's of the world and show same damn self respect you disgusting filthy pig.
Ann Arbor is a Whore T-Shirt
BUY THE ORIGINAL "ANN ARBOR IS A WHORE" SHIRT HERE!

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Sam Querrey's Model Girlfriend Abby Dixon Talks About His Wimbledon Victory over Andy Murray



For the 97.9% of you who have no clue who Sam Querrey is I will inform you he is the American who beat #1 seed Andy Murray in the Wimbledon quarterfinals today.  Querrey becomes the first American since Andy Roddick 8 years ago to reach the Wimbledon final four.  But we are not here to talk about Sam.  We are here to talk about his girlfriend of 2-years model Abby Dixon.  The 29-year old Dixon is a fashion model who travels around the world while keeping her boyfriend company aka pipes clean.  She's got that traditional 80's fashion model look which means she's tall, skinny and loves to powder her nose with the booger sugar.  The last part I completely made up or did I?  You be the judge.

Anyways let's take a look at Abby Dixon's Instagram pictures...

A post shared by Abby Dixon (@abbykdixon) on


A post shared by Abby Dixon (@abbykdixon) on


A post shared by Abby Dixon (@abbykdixon) on


A post shared by Abby Dixon (@abbykdixon) on


What's the over/under on amount of time before that pizza came back up? Not trying to be an asshole but you don't get that model skinny by eating pizza. Maybe she sprinkled some coke on it.

The 2017 MLB Midseason Awards



The All-Star break is upon us which means A) nothing is going on, B) the ESPY's are still not worth watching, and C) time to hand out some baseball midseason awards.  As you can tell by headline photo it's basically the hand shit to Aaron Judge awards before he smashes you 500 ft.  We will oblige the mighty cyborg.

AL MVP - Aaron Judge, Yankees
No way anybody can argue this choice.  Judge has put up insane first half numbers in his rookie season (leads AL in OBP, slugging percentage, HR, OPS and highlights) and just became the unofficial official face of baseball after putting on an epic showing at the HR Derby.  It's doubtful he will keep up his pace in the 2nd half so guys like Mike Trout (coming off injury) and the 3 Astros (Springer, Altuve, Correa) all have a chance to gain some ground.  But right now it's Judge's to lose.

NL MVP - Paul Goldschmidt, DBacks
This was a more difficult pick than the AL because there are a ton of great candidates.  Goldy is my pick because he leads the league in WAR and has the DBacks firmly in the Wild Card lead.  But you could make an argument for players like Joey Votto, Justin Turner, Nolan Arenado, Bryce Harper, etc. all having big 1st halves.

AL CY YOUNG - Chris Sale, Red Sox
Sale is the perfect pitcher for the Red Sox and their rabid fanbase.  He embraces the spot light, in fact he welcomes it, and has already become a team leader in the clubhouse in just his first season at Fenway Park.  11-4 with a 2.74 ERA and 0.90 WHIP earned Sale the start in the All-Star game.  He's basically the new Randy Johnson.  Royals Jason Vargas also deserves recognition after coming back from Tommy John surgery and leads the league in wins with 12 and ERA at 2.62.  It's doubtful Vargas will keep up the pace as the journeyman's arm is due to wear down.

NL CY YOUNG - Max Scherzer, Nationals
 Old shady two eyes gets the nod over Clayton Kershaw because although their numbers are similar I'm handing the ball in a do-or-die game to Scherzer because I know I will get maximum intensity and effort from someone who lives for the big spot.  Scherzer is a maniac who also might be a cyborg like Judge.

AL ROOKIE OF THE YEAR - Aaron Judge, Yankees
The best player in the league right now is brace yourself also the best rookie in the league.  The only guy who could potentially pass him up with a monster 2nd half is Baltimore's Trey "Boom Boom" Mancini and honestly everybody else is contending for runner up at this point.



NL ROOKIE OF THE YEAR - Cody Bellinger, Dodgers
10 home runs in 10 games will earn you some recognition.  Bellinger has taken his late call up as a challenge and already mashed 25 HRS, driven in 58 runs, and posted a .619 slugging percentage in only 70 games.

AL MANAGER OF THE YEAR - A.J. Hinch, Astros
The Astros are the best team in baseball right now with a young nucleus led by Hinch.  They are 16.5 games up in the division and on pace to win 109 games.

NL MANAGER OF THE YEAR - Dave Roberts, Dodgers
The Dodgers play in the most difficult division in the NL but are on pace to win 110 games.  That's insane.  They also have a young nucleus like the Astros who should contend for years to come.

Atlanta Falcons New Stadium has AWESOME Concession Prices


Not sure what the catch is but these prices for concessions at the new Mercedes-Benz Stadium are right up my alley.  Maybe it's a "hey we are sorry we blew a 25-point lead in the 3rd quarter of the biggest game of our lives and we know you still aren't over it and probably never will but hey here is some really cheap dogs, fries and cold Bud Light."  Well shit fire it works for me.  I'm all over the $3 pizza slice but it takes a brave, brave man to ever try the nachos with "cheese."  I'm pretty sure that "cheese" is just liquid cancer.

Jessica Simpson Still Has Her Fastball, Celebrates her 37th Birthday at the Pool


I've always had a soft spot, or hard for that matter, for one Jessica Simpson.  It was 12 years ago she was rocking the Daisy Dukes in near perfection on that god awful "Dukes of Hazzard" remake that she forever gained VIP access in my heart and I'm not even into blondes.  

In case anybody forgot what she looked like during her prime here's a friendly reminder.





Well fast forward to yesterday she celebrated her 37th with a big old butt perched up on a float as a giant homage to all her fans.  Yes even after all the kids, marriage, pills, and booze she still has her fastball.  She's gone from slim and trim to extra meaty to hello 37 hot milf status.  And that my folks deserves a golf clap.  You gotta learn to appreciate the Gods when they walk among us mere mortals.


A post shared by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) on


A post shared by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) on

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Conor McGregor Wore a Custom Pinstripe Suit that said "Fuck You" At His Press Conference


A post shared by Matthew Fairchild (@sportscrack) on

Conor McGregor, the little cocky Irish mick, brought his A game in trash talking to his Floyd Mayweather fight press conference today.  Not only did he win the battle of the mouths at the mic with Pretty Boy he also clearly won the wardrobe style with this classic pinstripes suit with the not so subtle "Fuck You" written all over it.  McGregor may be little in stature but he's got the balls of a heavyweight champion.  I would still be surprised if he lasted more than 4 rounds vs Mayweather.  For entertainment purposes I hope I'm wrong.


Watch Every Aaron Judge 500 Foot Home Runs in the 2017 Home Run Derby



To say New York Yankees rookie/cyborg Aaron Judge put on a show last night would be an understatement.  Not only did Judge have jaws dropping but he actually had fans and ESPN's Jessica Mendoza dropping their pants from on-air snail trails.

Judge is not from this planet.  Nobody that big (6'7 280 lbs) should be hitting baseballs.  It's just not fair and I was actually nervous he might kill one of those kids in the outfield with a line drive to the head.  He's the new Terminator and yesterday just proved his first half of 30 HRs is no fluke.  It looked like he was going to get kicked out in the first round as Marlins Justin Bour hit an amazing 22 HRs.  No biggie for Judge who came up and just peppered 450 foot shots with ease including 4 500 foot plus long balls to advance.

After that it was obvious to everybody it was Judge's HR Derby.  This felt like the dunk contest when Michael Jordan and Dominique Wilkins were battling it out in the mid 80's.  It had this electricity that you don't see often in baseball.  If anybody is going to bring back kid's interest in America's past time it should be Judge.  He's a freak that is must watch TV.  I don't even like the Yankees but I find myself turning to their games on MLBTV just to see if Judge is hitting.  He's the Paul Bunyan/mythical figure who was built in a lab to crush the stitches off of every baseball he faces.

And I don't care if you don't like baseball it's fun as hell to watch someone that big hit it that far with little effort.  It's must watch TV.

Support SportsCrack by visiting our STORE PAGE to get great shirts like the Judgement Day and Baby Bombers NY Shirt...



Friday, June 23, 2017

Domers Vs Dawgs Shirts Now For Sale!


September 9th can get here soon enough.  Georgia will be traveling to historic Notre Dame stadium for the first time in program history to face the Fighting Irish.  In fact it's only the 2nd time these two programs have ever faced each other.  The first was way back in 1980 in the Sugar Bowl when Georgia led by legendary tailback Herschel Walker held on for the win and the National Title.


Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Conor McGregor Trains in front of him knocking out Floyd Mayweather Mural


 Conor McGregor posted this Floyd Mayweather knockout picture on his Instagram with the caption "I'm a filthy Irish animal."  You gotta love the confidence of McGregor going into his first boxing fight with a guy in Mayweather who has never been knocked down much less lost a fight.  The 28-year-old Fighting Irishman is a massive Vegas underdog and for good reason: it's a boxing match, not a MMA event.  Can McGregor get close enough to Pretty Boy to even land his left hand hook?  I'm not sure.  Mayweather is the king of not taking a punishing blow.  He bobs and weaves like a rabbit being chased by a cheetah.  But if anyone can deliver a devastating KO punch it's McGregor.

Notorious vs Pretty Boy Fight T-Shirt
BUY THE NOTORIOUS VS PRETTY BOY FIGHT SHIRT HERE!

Monday, June 19, 2017

New T-Shirt Featuring the "Baby Bombers of New York: Gary Sanchez and Aaron Judge"


The Bronx Bombers have now become known as the "Baby Bombers" thanks to the young sluggers Gary Sanchez and Aaron Judge in the middle of a potent Yankees lineup.  Now this dynamic young duo has their own SportsCrack LLC designed t-shirt called Baby Bombers New York.

Buy it exclusively at our store page.



Monday, June 12, 2017

Kevin Na Gives Us an Inside Look at the Crazy Fescue Rough at Erin Hills


Listen I get it nobody wants to hear some fancy, rich fucking golfer complaining about the "shitty conditions" of a golf course's rough in Wisconsin.  I get it.  I really do.  But in all honesty this is ridiculous even for the professionals.  I don't want to watch the PGA pros looking for balls they can't find.  What fun is that?  Imagine if Sergio Garcia hits a ball in the tall Wisconsin fescue of Erin Hills.  We are literally talking about hours of searching, bitching, and boredom.  Now I see why Phil Mickelson had to attend his kid's high school graduation this week instead of playing the US Open, which he has never won.  Smart move Phil and yes we believe it's because you are a great family man you shady Madoff wannabe.

Monday, June 05, 2017

Video of a bar fight in Nashville involving Rex and Rob Ryan

They might not be in the NFL anymore but you know brothers Rob and Rex Ryan don't mess around even at their older, more supposedly wiser ages.  Rob and Rex were caught in a bar fight in Nashville while in town for the Stanley Cup (Go Predators!) at none other than Margaritaville.  Apparently some drunk ass threw a drink at one of the brothers and in true Roadhouse style Rob and his beautiful flowing locks of hair went straight for the jugular.  If you get in a fight and a dude goes straight for your throat especially a guy the size of Rob you probably should have a beer bottle in hand to crush over their skull.  You gotta love the Bryce Harper Nationals jersey too.  That jersey is just hanging on for dear life by every button ready to pop.  Nothing says I came here to drink some beer and beat some ass than a Bryce road jersey in Nashville.

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Who was at fault for the Bryce Harper-Hunter Strickland fight?



I've said this before but I think it needs to be repeated.  Baseball players can be the most sensitive, grudge-holding, fake tough guys in all of sports who hide behind these stupid "unwritten rules" of baseball for way too long.  Giants pitcher Hunter Strickland is example 1A.

Three years ago Bryce Harper went deep twice on Strickland in the playoffs in the only two plate appearances they have faced off.  Strickland did not like the way Harper did his HR trot and ran the bases on the first one.  On the second one he did not enjoy Harper launching one into McCovey's Cove because Harper stood at home plate too long (OH MY GOD!) because the ball was right down the fair pole line and it was questionable if the San Francisco wind would keep it as a HR.  Strickland covered his mouth with his Rawlings glove while yelling sweet nothings at Harper as he ran the bases.  This is the kind of shit that needs to be squashed right away from baseball.  This unwritten rule that you can't enjoy hitting a HR is so fucking stupid.  It's one thing if you do a bat flip and act like an idiot like Jose Bautista and stare down pitchers who don't give a shit.  It's another thing for you to throw meat and the batter crushes it out of the park and for you to act pissed off when all they are doing is running the bases and doing their jobs.

Strickland is 99.9% at fault for this fight.  He clearly threw it at Harper because of some BS from three years ago.  Grow the fuck up Strickland.  I think it's telling that even Buster Posey wanted nothing to do with it.  Everybody in the park knew Strickland was out of line.  You don't bean people for your inability to get that person out.  It's a chicken shit move.  And I honestly don't blame Harper for charging the mound and throwing punches like a kitten.  If someone was trying to bean me with a fastball because they suck at getting people out I too would either charge the mound or laugh at the idiot who throws me BP in playoff games.

What sucks about these baseball fights is the guy who gets hit and charges the mound always gets suspended when it shouldn't be that way.  The pitcher was clearly trying to hurt Harper.  It's a bush league move and some will say Harper needs to be the bigger guy and let it go but you try taking some baseball stitches on your side and see if you are all hunky dory.  People pay good money to see Harper.  Nobody cares about Strickland except his close family and friends and even that's probably questionable at this point.  Strickland is basically your ex girlfriend who holds on to conversations that happened years ago and says "SEE I knew you were a bad guy!"

Suspend Strickland for 8-10 games but let Harper play.  Harper shouldn't be suspended for this soft pillow slap fight and MLB can't afford to keep their brightest star (now that Mike Trout is out with a thumb injury) in the dugout because of some petty shit some loser relief pitcher felt.

Monday, May 22, 2017

Handicapping the 2017 Heisman Race

Two of the top 3 Heisman vote getters from 2016 are back including the winner Lamar "Action" Jackson.  But like last year Jackson came from out of nowhere to win the school's first ever Heisman Trophy for Louisville so don't take this list as the end all, be all.

Here is a look at the preseason candidates I feel have the best chance of hoisting the hardware in New York City.

THE FAVORITES

Lamar Jackson, QB, Louisville: A playmaker with his arms and legs the reigning Heisman winner will have his work cut out for him this season as every opponent's objective will be to contain him.  He took an insane amount of sacks last year: 46.  Needs to cut it in half if he hopes to even walk to NYC.
Lamar "Action Jackson" Cardinal T-shirt
Baker Mayfield, QB, Oklahoma: Wake n Bake has back-to-back NYC invites in his back pocket as a Heisman finalist.  If he wants to win one this season he has to beat Ohio State in Columbus.
Sam Darnold, QB, USC: Darnold seems to have the early momentum going for him in terms of preseason Heisman hype.  Not a starter at the beginning of the 2016 season, he led USC to 9 straight wins to close out the year.  If he puts up the numbers he did or exceeds them he's a lock for an invite.
JT Barrett, QB, Ohio State: It was a rocky up and down season for Barrett last year despite getting the Buckeyes to the College Football playoffs.  His QBR continues to decline as he gets older which is alarming.
Jake Browning, QB, Washington: After having shoulder surgery it appears the Pac-12 Offensive player of the year is ready to roll and get the Huskies back to the playoffs.  After finishing 6th last year in Heisman voting his main competition will be Darnold for West coast votes.

FOUR MORE

Deondre Francois, QB, FSU: Francois will get plenty of chances to make a Heisman push starting with week 1 in Atlanta vs Alabama.
Saquon Barkley, RB, Penn State: The Big Ten offensive player of the year appears to be the best returning back in the nation.  If Barkley puts up another 2000 plus all-purpose yards and has Penn State in National Title consideration he should "hurdle" to get an invite.

Jalen Hurts, QB, Alabama: The SEC offensive player of the year as only a true freshman Hurts will need to improve his passing efficiency as teams will continue to stack the box in order to stop the run.

Mason Rudolph, QB, Oklahoma State: The rising senior had a spectacular 28 TD-to-4 INT ratio last year.  Perhaps one of the more underrated players in the nation, if Rudolph can get the Cowboys a Big 12 Championship he will be a contender for the Heisman.

BACK FROM INJURY

Seth Rosen, QB, UCLA: Coming off shoulder surgery the Rosen One will need to live up to his high school hype and beat the likes of crosstown rival USC in order to crack consideration.
Derwin James, S, FSU: James is coming off a meniscus tear in his left knee that caused him to redshirt 2016 season.  While he is a safety he is also a special enough athlete to garner recognition like Jabrill Peppers did last year for Michigan.
Bo Scarbrough, RB, Alabama: Coming off a broken leg in the National Title game vs Clemson no Heisman list would be complete without at least one Bama running back on it.  Scarbrough will get plenty of chances to make a statement like Mark Ingram and Derrick Henry did starting in week 1 vs FSU.

DON'T FORGET ABOUT

QUARTERBACKS: Trace McSorley (Penn State), Luke Falk (Washington State), Nick Fitzgerald (Mississippi State), Quinton Flowers (South Florida), Josh Allen (Wyoming)

RUNNING BACKS: Royce Freeman (Oregon), Nick Chubb (UGA),  Josh Adams (Notre Dame), Derrius Guice (LSU), Kamryn Pettway (Auburn)

WIDE RECEIVERS: James Washington (Oklahoma State), Calvin Ridley (Alabama), Equanimeous St. Brown (Notre Dame), Courtland Sutton (SMU)

THE MULTIPURPOSE CANDIDATES

Christian Kirk, WR, Texas A&M: Coming off nearly a 1000 yard season receiving Kirk also had 3 kick returns for TDs last season.  He's one of the most dynamic players in the nation and will be feared by all special teams coordinators.


NOTABLE NEWCOMERS

Jarrett Stidham, QB, Auburn: The Baylor transfer is already getting serious Heisman dark horse consideration talk down in Auburn because of his dual-threat capabilities.  If Stidham can lead Auburn to a SEC Championship game you better believe he can also make it to NYC for a Heisman invite.
Brandon Wimbush, QB, Notre Dame: The redshirt sophomore is the unquestioned leader of the ND offense now with Deshone Kizer in the NFL.  Wimbush has the same build and leadership skills of Brady Quinn who was a two-time finalist and also has plenty of offensive weapons around him to lead a potent Fighting Irish attack this fall.
Kyle Allen, QB, Houston: The Texas A&M transfer put up some impressive numbers in the SEC before suffering a AC sprain in his shoulder.  At Houston he will be given the chance to run Major Applewhite's offense that should put up points and contend for a New Year's six bowl.

DEFENSIVE LONGSHOTS

Ed Oliver, DT, Houston: Defensive players have basically next to none shot at winning the Heisman but I still gotta put Oliver on this list because he's that special.  As a true freshman last year he started all 12 games and despite the constant double teams he managed to sack the QB five times.
Arden Key, DE, LSU: Key is one of the top underclassmen's in Mel Kiper's 2018 NFL Draft position rankings.  Coming off a 12 sack season the rising junior will be a force to be reckoned with all year vs the Bayou Bengals.
Dexter Lawrence, DT, Clemson: Still just considered a freshman Lawrence is a future #1 overall draft pick who is so great it would be impossible for me to keep him off this list.  While playing nine games as a true freshman Lawrence racked up 7 sacks, two fumble recoveries, two block kicks and a team-leading 20 QB pressures.  It would not be shocking to see Lawrence get double digit sack numbers this season.

Tuesday, May 09, 2017

From Notre Dame to the Baltimore Orioles Trey "Boom Boom" Mancini Can Rake...Now Get the Boom Boom Shirt!

Check out the new Boom Boom Mancini Baltimore T-Shirt



Boom Boom has been on fire ever since the Orioles called him up late last season.  With 10 HRs in his first 83 professional at-bats he is the second fastest in MLB history to reach double digits.  Boom Boom is a Golden Domer who has taken the MLB stage on fire with his majestic shots.
Boom Boom Mancini Jersey T-shirt

Monday, May 08, 2017

Is This Florida Head Coach Jim McElwain Naked, Humping a Shark?


It's one thing to be the head coach of the Florida Gators and look goofy as your team gets it's ass kicked once again in the SEC Championship by Alabama but Jim McElwain is taking it to a whole other level with this viral picture.  Now Florida and McElwain have come out and flat out denied it's him but we all know it's him.  If it walks, talks and looks like a shark fucker it's definitely McElwain.

You can't look at this face and say that's not a shark fucker:



Those teeth and that shit eating grin are dead give aways for a person who likes to catch sharks, get naked, and hump them.  These are stone cold facts just like Aaron Hernandez and Tim Tebow were gay lovers in Gainesville.  You can't fight what the heart wants and we all know Florida is filled with shark fuckers.


Gotta love the social justice warrior aspect of this.  How dare this man get naked and hump a man eating shark!



Check Out This New Aaron Judge Shirt called "Judgement Day"


I know what you are thinking.  How can any shirt be more perfect than this "99 JUDGEment Day" tee that SportsCrack is offering?

And the answer is no.  This is the perfect t-shirt for any New York Yankees fan or Aaron Judge fanatic.

Live look in as people first lay their eyes upon this epic shirt:





Wednesday, May 03, 2017

Manny Machado Goes off on Epic Rant after Red Sox Throw At Him Again

Thursday, April 27, 2017

2017 SportsCrack NFL Mock Draft

Finally after months of conjecture, rumors and talking heads with their hot takes we are here: the NFL Draft starts tonight.
Here is my mock draft which mocks all the rest while wearing moccasins because that's what Johnny Moxon would do at West Canaan.

1.  Cleveland Browns: Myles Garrett, DE
This is the day all Cleveland fans dread.  The NFL draft is just further reformation your franchise is in a never ending shitter.  But I will say Garrett is the best pick here and could be the most "safe" pick.  He's a day one starter.  Don't fuck it up Cleveland and draft a QB.
2. San Francisco 49ers: Jamal Adams, S
This pick right here tells you how bad of a QB draft this is.  The Browns and 49ers are both in desperate need of a QB and neither will touch one.
3. Chicago Bears: Soloman Thomas, DE
Don't laugh but from all the videos I've seen I think Thomas is the better pick over Garrett.  Bears get themselves another Richard Dent with this pick.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars: Leonard Fournette, RB
I'm not high on Fournette and personally I would rather have Dalvin Cook if I'm picking a RB but the Jaguars seem to be all in for BUGA.
Leonard Fournette BUGA Shirt
5. Tennessee Titans: Mike Williams, WR
Titans need to get Marcus Mariota a legit receiver and if you watched the National Championship game you will have noticed Clemson's Williams dominate Bama's stellar secondary.
6.  New York Jets: Christian McCaffrey, RB
Ed's son can basically do it all on offense and will be called upon in the city that never sleeps.  No pressure... just don't fuck it up.
7. Los Angeles Chargers: Jonathan Allen, DE/DT
LA's newest team gets a bit of luck as Bama's Allen slips to them at lucky number 7.
8. Carolina Panthers: Malik Hooker, S
Some people have compared this Hooker to Ed Reed which seems a little call girlish and premature personally.
9. Cincinnati Bengals: Marshon Lattimore, CB
It's only a matter of time before Pacman Jones spits, kicks, punches, shoots or abuses some other person so you need a backup plan.  Lattimore grades out as the top corner in the draft.
10. Buffalo Bills: Kevin King, CB
The Bills want Lattimore to replace Stephon Gilmore but with him gone the pick before they go with the 2nd corner on their board in King.
11. New Orleans Saints: Haason Reddick, LB
Did you know that Reddick was a fucking walk on at Temple?  Crazy right?  Now here he is getting drafted in the first round.
12. Cleveland Browns: Mitchell Trubisky, QB
We finally get a QB picked and of course it's the Browns who do it.  Poor little Mitchell Trubisky has no chance of winning in Cleveland.  At least he will have a lot of money to drown those sorrows.
13. Arizona Cardinals: Corey Davis, WR
Fitzgerald is no spring chicken and Michael Floyd is still driving drunk somewhere so the Cardinals need to get Carson Palmer a player on the outside for his final season.
14. Philadelphia Eagles: Derek Barnett, DE
The Eagles need another edge rusher and the last time they drafted one out of Tennessee it seemed to pay off.
15. Indianapolis Colts: Charles Harris, OLB
Colts could be looking to trade down to get more picks but if they don't they take the best player available in Harris.
16. Baltimore Ravens: Reuben Foster, LB
Foster failed a drug test and was kicked out of the Combine because of his attitude.  Sounds like the perfect LB for the Ravens!
17. Washington Redskins: Dalvin Cook, RB
When all is said and done Cook will be the best RB in this class.
18. Tennessee Titans: Marlon Humphrey, CB
Titans are in desperate need for corners.
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: O.J. Howard, TE
Jameis Winston gets himself another weapon.
20. Denver Broncos: Garett Boles, OT
Crazy to think the first offensive tackle taken in the draft would be this late but the Broncos get their guy in Boles.
21. Detroit Lions: T.J. Watt, DE/OLB
JJ's brother gets scooped up because the Lions are in desperate need of an edge rusher.
22. Miami Dolphins: Jarrad Davis, LB
Dolphins are looking for the best available LB and Davis fits the description.
23. New York Giants: Ryan Ramczyk, OT
The Giants want Boles so they could trade up to get him.  If not they take the next best offensive tackle in Ramczyk.
24. Oakland Radiers: Zach Cunningham, LB
25. Houston Texans: Patrick Mahomes, QB
Texans surprise everybody by passing on Deshaun Watson to take a local kid in Mahomes.
26. Seattle Seahawks: Obi Melifonwu, S
Love this kid at safety.  Athleticism is through the roof.
27. Kansas City Chiefs: Forrest Lamp, OG
The best guard in the draft gets scooped up.
28. Dallas Cowboys: Adoree Jackson, CB
Cowboys reach with this pick but even if Jackson never amounts to anything as a corner he could still be a hell of a returner.
29. Green Bay Packers: Joe Mixon, RB
The Packers got a puncher's chance here with Mixon.
30. Pittsburgh Steelers: DeShone Kizer, QB
The Steelers know all about Kizer and have been scouting him extensively, more than any other team reportedly.  He will get a chance to be Roethlisberger's backup or maybe a starter if Big Ben chooses to retire.
DeShone Kizer Shirt
31. Atlanta Falcons: Taco Charlton, DE
As a Falcons fans I would be ecstatic if Taco falls this far to them.  Atlanta is in need of edge rushers and Taco certainly fits the description.
32. New Orleans Saints: Deshaun Watson, QB
Saints need to find an eventual replacement for Drew Brees and Watson is the best available if they decide to stick with this pick and not trade down.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Chris Coghlan Pulls His Best Willie Mays Hayes Slide with this dive over Yadier Molina

I think it's safe to say Toronto Blue Jay's Chris Coghlan slide/dive last night in St. Louis over Yadier Molina is in the pole position for MLB play of the year.  If one of us mere mortals even attempted such a slide good chance we would end up with a broken neck.

Jim Harbaugh Gives Pope Francis a Pair of Air Jordans and a Michigan Football Helmet



I think it's safe to say we have reached peak Jim Harbaugh.  The Michigan football coach gave "His Holliness" Pope Francis a full size Michigan football helmet and a classic pair of Maize and Blue Air Jordans at the Vatican with his football team.

I'm actually more shocked Harbaugh didn't offer the Pope a warm glass of milk.

You gotta give credit where credit is due: Harbaugh is one of a kind.  Despite his winless record vs Ohio State he's getting people to talk about Michigan football around the world.  That in itself is a holy miracle considering they got one split national championship in the last 70 years!



Harbaugh doing God's work...



ORDER YOUR HOME IS WHERE THE HARBAUGH IS SHIRT HERE!
JIM HARBAUGH MICHIGAN SHIRT

Monday, April 24, 2017

2017 Notre Dame Blue Gold Game Highlights


Notre Dame football completed spring camp with their final practice, the 15th, in the annual Blue-Gold game at Notre Dame Stadium on Saturday.  After the long 4-8 season of 2016 it was refreshing to see Notre Dame not lose.

In all seriousness there were a lot of bright spots for ND.

The two QBs, Brandon Wimbush and Ian Book, while wearing no contact red jerseys both performed admirably.  Wimbush is the presumed starter and he showed off some NFL throws to WR Chase Claypool.  Wimbush was a little inconsistent with a couple of turnovers but I think a large part of that was the red jersey messing with his routine.  Book was excellent and the rising sophomore looked very capable of handling the back up duties this fall.  I had to do a couple of double takes because I thought Johnny Manziel decided to come back to college and be the backup QB at ND.  Book was that good with his throwing (much better arm than I anticipated) and accuracy along with reading the defenses and making quick decisions.  The backup QB spot is in good hands with Book.

I also thought the RB trio of Josh Adams, Tony Jones Jr., and Dexter Williams provided a much needed balance to the offense.  All three ran with purpose and had individual highlight plays.

I was also extremely impressed with the receiving core.  Claypool, Equanemious St. Brown, and Miles Boykin all started at the X, Y and Z positions and caught everything from what I recall.  Each one of them is over 6'4 and I'm starting to get 2005 flashbacks with Brady Quinn throwing the ball up to the likes of Jeff Samardzija, Maurice Stovall and Anthony Fasano.  The tight ends also looked tremendous with Alize "Return of the Mack" coming off his academic suspension and basically being unstoppable.

The defensive line to my surprise provided consistent rush to the QBs accounting for 9 sacks total.  Remember the QBs had no contact red jerseys so as soon as the defender was close it was ruled a sack.  Rising sophomore Daelin Hayes was a monster and looked like the 5-star prospect coming out of high school.  Daelin had 3 sacks and Jay Hayes (no relation) also had a couple from what I recall.

The linebacking core played great and instead of engaging with blockers they actually played downfield for a change.  You can tell new defensive coordinator Mike Elko has made a huge difference in the mentality of the defense.  Guys like Nyles Morgan (tremendous trucking of All-American left guard Quenton Nelson) and Greer Martini were unstoppable at times and rover Drue Tranquill looked like a Harrison Smith clone out there.

The secondary also played well and picked up some turnovers.  It's refreshing to see ND have a lot of depth on the back end of the defense and despite some missed tackles I thought they played extremely well.

Also Jonathan Doerer, the freshman kicker brought in for insurance in case Justin Yoon can't kick this fall, showed a consistent leg and nailed all of his field goal attempts in the middle of the uprights.

One of the few knocks I had on the team was the play of the offensive line which is suppose to be a strength.  Offensive line coach Harry Hiestand looks like he has some problems on the right side of the line where DE Daelin Hayes was basically having a field day in the backfield.  They got plenty of time to correct those mistakes though as the season is still 120 plus days away.

Overall I liked what I saw from the glorified practice scrimmage.  You can tell the coaching changes have helped and I love seeing Chip Long use the tight ends more while also having the QB line up behind center and have some two-back sets.  I don't see any reason with the starting and second string talent why Notre Dame can't break many offensive records this year.  The tackling still needs work but I thought the defense played fast.  Still need to get more consistent effort from the likes of Jerry Tillery and Daniel Cage in the middle and I think with freshman Darnell Ewell coming in summer will help push their effort level.



Rickie Fowler's New Girlfriend is Internet Sensation Allison Stokke?

Well well well.  It looks like little Rickie Fowler caught himself a grand slam trophy of a girlfriend in internet sensation Allison Stokke.

If you recall Stokke went viral back in high school a few years ago for her incredible looks as a pole vaulter with this single picture:


Stokke went on to earn a scholarship and become an All-American pole vaulter at Cal-Berkeley and has since graduated.  Stokke never made the USA Olympic team but the internet never slept on her and continued to produce top pictures of herself from mostly her Instagram account.

Well this week she posted this Instagram picture with new boyfriend(?) Fowler at the MotoGP Grand Prix of the Americas with the caption "We tied?"


A post shared by Allison Stokke (@allisonstokke) on

Not to be outdone Fowler posted on his Instagram too a picture with Stokke with the caption "I won!"

A post shared by R I C K I E (@rickiefowler) on

This is a match made in sports heaven.  You gotta a guy who is really good at getting his balls into a little hole with a woman who knows how to handle a long pole.  In the meantime lets take a look at some more pictures of Stokke for "research purposes."

A post shared by Allison Stokke (@allisonstokke) on




A post shared by Allison Stokke (@allisonstokke) on



Friday, April 21, 2017

Strange Injury Report: Madison Bumgarner To Disabled List Due To Dirt bike Accident



Oh MadBum you crazy mother fucker.  It's bad enough the San Francisco Giants are sitting at 6-10 on the season but now they just lost their ace for 6-8 weeks because of a fucking dirt bike crash on their off day.  I'm sure the Giants and their fans are happy about it.

But honestly if you could think of one baseball player doing something like this I think one of the first names that would pop up is an admitted redneck like Madison Bumgarner.  He was probably riding the dirt bike and saw some harmless dude with a Dodgers hat smile at him and swerved while shouting "DON'T LOOK AT ME!" and BAM...shoulder AC sprain and his season is basically fucked.

Oh well.  Just gives me more of a reason to sell more of the #DON'TLOOKATME shirts!

By the way you can buy them here...just saying.




Vanderbilt Football Releases a Sorority Parody Video Worth Watching



Someone please remind me again how Georgia lost to this Vanderbilt team at home on homecoming?  A Vandy team that makes sorority parody videos during spring practice.  No lie I chuckled a couple of times at the Anchor Down lines and one of my littles but it didn't make me laugh nearly as much as watching LB Zach Cunningham tackle little guy Isaiah McKenzie on 4th and 1 for a loss instead of going to Nick Chubb or Sony Michel.  That's not smart football Kirby (pun intended).


WATCH THIS VIRAL VIDEO: Cubs Fan flashes the crowd at Wrigley Field (NSFW)


This is what happens when you win your first World Series in 108 years: the nipples are free in Wrigley Field.  You gotta love the title of the Youtube video of "drunk" woman.. I would say that's a tad presumptuous but we are talking about the bleacher bums here.  Drunk is a foregone conclusion especially when you are showing off your chesticles.  You know some kid named Johnny or Tommy got his first bare breast facial at the Cubs game and unlike the past when nothing was recorded he can actually brag to his classmates the next day and prove it by pulling up this Youtube video.
What a time to be alive.  Boobs and baseball.  If that ain't Americana then I don't know what is.
Cubs We Are Good Fly The W Shirt

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Freddie Freeman Sets Atlanta Braves Record By Reaching Base 12 Straight Times with the first SunTrust Park fountain HR


If you are a Braves fan this was the one highlight from last night's rout by the hands of Bryce Harper and the Nationals losing 14-4.

Freddie Freeman set an Atlanta Braves franchise record by reaching base for the 12th consecutive time by hitting a solo shot into the SunTrust Park fountain just beyond the centerfield fence.

Freeman's 6th home run of the year kept his scorching hot bat going where his OPS is at a ridiculous 1.453 while he leads the majors in batting average at .440 and on base percentage at .533.  Even with Freeman's 6 HRs, 4 doubles and 1 triple he only has 8, yes 8 RBIs, batting 3rd in the lineup.

Why only 8 RBIs?  Because the man batting in the 2 spot aka Dansby Swanson has been horrible the first two weeks of the season (155 OBP) and simply can't get on base to set the table for MVFreeman.
Brian Snitker gets paid handsomely to manage the Braves albeit only a one year contract so he needs to do the right thing and drop Dansby in the order while either putting either Nick Markakis (367 OBP) or Brandon Phillips (362 OBP) in the 2 spot in front of Freeman.  It's an absolute crime for Freeman to only have 8 RBIs.

With Matt Kemp coming off the 10-day DL today my hope would be the top of the order will be:

1) Ender Inciarte (started slow but slowly heating up)
2) Brandon Phillips
3) Freddie Freeman
4) Matt Kemp
5) Nick Markakis

Roll with this lineup for at least a week while dropping Dansby to 7 or 8 in the lineup and see where your chips fall.


Wednesday, April 19, 2017

SunTrust Park Might Have Produced It's First Offspring with these two dry humping fans

Christian McCaffrey Shows Off His Insanely Fast Feet

We are less than a couple of weeks till the NFL Draft and it's good to see that Stanford RB Christian McCaffrey had enough preparation time to skip his team's bowl game in order to compete for fastest feet in the draft.

Yes that is not a sped up video of any kind and yes McCaffrey seems to be really fast when running in one place.  It should work wonders for him in the NFL jittering like Tyrone Biggums on Red Balls.


Dave Chappelle - Red Balls Sketch by fruitycycling

Not sure what the point of McCaffrey () posting a video of himself running in place was but it gave me an excellent reason to post a Tyrone Biggums clip so all is right in the world.

Also good to see the Broncos Brady Quinn jersey framed up along with a Thrashers jersey in the background.  Like Quinn and the Thrashers McCaffrey should have a long and prosperous career running in one place.