Poor USC. What's next...the Hawaii kicker going to lay someone out? Lane Kiffin has slowly destroyed the once proud program. It's a joke how bad they are now. They beat Hawaii but the Fighting Rainbows only won 3 games last year and two of those were against non FCS schools. Go home USC...you're drunk!
Friday, August 30, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
College football kicks off in less than 3 hours and already the incoming freshmen across this great nation are looking for a keg to drink, a coed to suck face with, and a class to oversleep. But there are some freshmen who don't have this college luxury because they will be making an instant impact on the gridiron. From L.A. to PA there are pimple-faced monsters ready to leave a mark on the college game without the dreaded "redshirt" label be stamped on their meal plan.
Here are 10 to keep an eye out for this fall.
1. Christian Hackenberg, Penn State, QB - State Penn stole a good one from the likes of Alabama and Florida in getting QB Hackenberg who is expected to start sometime this season. The Nittany Lions QB situation is a mess right now with Steven Bench transferring and no player returning with any significant playing time in Happy Valley. Hackenberg can sling it and he stuck with Penn State when every one else fled faster than you can say Sandusky.
2. Robert Nkemdiche, Ole Miss, DL - The nation's #1 overall recruit was considered a steal for Ole Miss since he's from Georgia and...well...Ole Miss sucks. But this mammoth beast of a defensive lineman is expected to join his brother as a starter for the Rebels and make a tremendous impact even in the rough and tough SEC West. He won't get double digit sacks but he should have an equal impact like Aaron Lynch had with Notre Dame two years ago.
3. Jaylon Smith, Notre Dame, OLB - Speaking of Notre Dame the Fighting Irish found their replacement for retired LB Danny Spond (concussion issues) with the extremely athletic and fast Fort Wayne prospect in Jaylon Smith. Smith is the most highly touted defensive player to sign with the Irish since Kory Minor back in 1994 and is expected to make or exceed his impact at the college game. Fast enough to play safety and big enough to play OLB Smith is a freak who many think will be a future multiple All-American player and captain.
4. Su'a Cravens, USC, Safety - Despite a torn meniscus in spring after early enrolling Cravens is expected to start on a depleted Trojans depth chart hit hard by recent sanctions. Expectations are sky high on this elite prospect who many compare to Ed Reed with his ball hawking instincts.
5. Carl Lawson, Auburn, DE - A physical specimen out of Milton High School (Go Eagles!) Lawson should make his presence known for the Tigers and their new coach Gus Malzahn. Hopefully he plays more like beast and less like Jane since War Eagle is coming off a disastrous 3-9 season.
6. Derrick Green, Michigan, RB - There is some concern in Ann Arbor about his weight (too much) but Green is one of those elite tailbacks who is going to be more Jerome Bettis than Knowshon Moreno. Expect Green to put up nearly a 1000 yards for the Wolverines who don't have a proven commodity in the backfield.
7. James Quick, Louisville, WR - Perfect name for this elite speed receiver. The state record holder in the 200-meter dash Quick will be running fly routes and catching bombs from Heisman candidate Teddy Bridgewater all season.
8. O. J. Howard, Alabama, TE - Three year starter Michael Williams is gone in Tuscaloosa leaving the door wide open for the nation's #1 prep tight end to start right away. With the same athletic build as murderer Aaron Hernandez had down in Florida don't be surprised if Howard becomes a favorite red zone target of QB AJ McCarron starting in week 1 vs Virginia Tech.
9. Greg Bryant, Notre Dame, RB - Bryant was a recruiting coup out of the state of Florida and showed up in South Bend already in college gameday shape and size. With the loss of Cierre Wood and Theo Riddick to the NFL expect Bryant to share some of the carries with junior speedster George Atkinson III this fall.
10. Marquez North, Tennessee, WR - First-year head coach Butch Jones thinks this 6'3 freshman can be an instant playmaker in Knoxville starting in game 1. I've heard whispers he looks a lot like Carl Pickens. For the Vols who lost two starters to the NFL at the WR position that can only be a great comparison.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 1:46 PM
I was oh so close to drafting Matthew Stafford this year but I just couldn't because of his off-the-field issues. What were they you ask? His girlfriend. That's it. Her name is Kelly Hall (former UGA cheerleader) and she is running wild in Costa Rica drunk off Bloody Mary's and Imperials. It's has to be a major distraction for Stafford. That and her leaked NSFW photo that is all over the internet. Good for Stafford though. If you gotta live and play in Detroit you might as well have the ultimate prize not named the Lombardi Trophy on the side.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 12:54 PM
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 10:19 PM
...but still not as many sponsors. The Atlanta Braves new utility guy/fella/clubhouse presence made it known on the diamond last night by legging out a triple that Elliott Johnson is here to stay. His tread on his tires must have been top notch. Speed kills. Shake N Bake. One lap at a time. One constant left turn on the bases.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 8:05 AM
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Yup. Brady Hoke has not changed one bit. His cries will only get louder when Notre Dame storms into Ann Arbor in a couple of weeks. Brian Kelly will be laughing hysterically like Janice as Hoke clutches and grabs his fat little bearclaws for life. It's the circle of life folks.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 12:43 PM
The annual SportsCrack.com College Football Pick 'Em Contest is back for another run! FREE to enter each week we are giving away a FREE SportsCrack T-shirt to whomever picks the most winners. Head over to our pals at FunOfficePools.com and enter the SportsCrack.com pool. Each week one college football know-it-all will win a t-shirt.
ENTER THE CONTEST HERE!
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 11:42 AM
The season hasn't even had it's first tailgate let alone kickoff but we are too excited to wait on the end of the year bowl predictions. Plus it's always fun to go back and check to see how wrong we were. If I hit 20% of these predictions it's just pure luck. Thank God this is the final year of the BCS.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 7:27 AM
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Friday, August 23, 2013
Make sure you turn on the volume for this one. It's in the upper left corner. I'm crying from laughing. Tears flowing. The internet wins. This is all-time classic material right here. Right up there with the George Brett shit story.
"HE DONE DROP THE HOE! HE DONE DROP THE HOE!" - If that isn't a shirt then I don't know what is.
They call her Butterfingers.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 8:25 AM
At this point I'm starting to feel bad for South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney. Any player that ESPN props up on a pedestal, especially a college football one, eventually gets torn apart. It's going to happen.
Is Clowney great? Yes of course. But he's not nearly the flawless prospect that a lot of people are making him out to be. He's not perfect on or off the field. And unfortunately ESPN and the media will find these things once the season starts. And despite what the media says he is not a lock for #1 pick. He's not a once-in-a-generation type player. Sure he has some great hits and plays but watch the whole game while focusing on him and determine how much of a "can't miss prospect" he really is.
It's only 6 days away. We get to see "The Freak" on ESPN vs North Carolina. The proverbial rise and eventual fall of Clowney will be yet another ESPN production that will be can't miss television. Awesome.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 8:07 AM
Wait a damn second. Are you telling me taking shots to the head can be detrimental to your health? No way! I don't believe it. Next thing PBS is going to tell me is that boxers suffer a good chance of brain damage in the ring. It's impossible.
Anyways the show debuts on PBS on October 8th. Be sure to check it out.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 7:41 AM
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Interesting the coaches picked Aaron Murray over Johnny Manziel and A.J. McCarron. Seems logical. This is what I think of it...
But other than the QB pick and maybe some of those offensive line picks it looks about right.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 9:05 AM
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Don't worry looking into your Phil Steele magazine or Sporting News or Playboy or whatever magazine you get your preseason preview from. This is the ultimate list. The SportsCrack All-American list is 99.9% accurate. We know our shit. We live college football. We are out doing the tailgates in the spring when those other shit stains are focused on trivial things like family. So without further ado here is the All-American Preseason 2013 team.
QB Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M - He's got a Heisman in his backpocket. He also has some Benjamins. On the field he is the best QB in the nation and the most important player for his team. Off it he is Johnny Fucking Football. The most entertaining college football player since Reggie Bush IMO.
RB Todd Gurley, Georgia - The first half of Gurshall exploded on the scene during his freshman season in Athens. Plus he's a Baltimore Orioles fan so he has impeccable taste. And herpes. A lot of that goes around the Classic City. Or so I've heard.
RB Lache Seastrunk, Baylor - Winner of the dumbest name award this kid can flat out fly. Doesn't get a lot of pub since he plays for Baylor but that will all change this season.
WR Marqise Lee, USC - Just another great USC wide receiver who won't live up to his hype in the NFL. I mean he is really good. He won some awards last year for an awful Trojans team so I'm sure 2013 will be another Groundhog Day for him.
WR Amari Cooper, Alabama - One of the most fluid receivers I can remember, Cooper brings back memories of Jerry Rice. Only a sophomore he should be AJ McCarron's favorite target.
TE Austin Seferian-Jenkins, Washington - The most talented tight end in the nation just needs to stay healthy and keep his nose clean. He has done neither this year. Still the best tight end in the nation.
T Cyrus Kouandjio, Alabama - Alabama grows dominate offensive tackles like they grow meth.
T Taylor Lewan, Michigan - I know this may be flabbergasting to ESPN and all those SEC cuckholders but Lewan pretty much dominated Clowney in the bowl game.
C Gabe Ikard, Oklahoma - A loyal SportsCrack customer since high school Gabe will now be blocking for the Belldozer.
G David Yankey, Stanford - Yankey proves Nerds can play football and dominate at the same time.
G Cyril Richardson, Baylor - Will be opening up gapping holes for Seastrunk all year.
All Purpose De'Anthony Thomas, Oregon - The Black Mamba could win the Heisman if he gets enough touches.
Kick Returner Stefon Diggs, Maryland - Only a sophomore this kid's play is electric.
DE Jadeveon Clowney, South Carolina - Listen Clowney is obviously a very good player. But he's not nearly as great of an all-around player as ESPN and the rest of college football media has made him out to be since the hit he put on Michigan. Still he's better than any other defensive end.
DT Louis Nix, Notre Dame - Irish Chocolate is an immovable object that destroys everything in sight. Go back and watch the BCS Championship and specifically watch his play. Nix more than held his own and often dominated against what is probably college footballs greatest offensive line collectively in Alabama.
DT Will Sutton, Arizona State - Dominating force inside who had double digit sacks last year.
DE Stephon Tuitt, Notre Dame - Up to 325 lbs Tuitt was dominating last year until a hernia curtailed his production. Still had double digit sacks and once again will be a force for an impressive Notre Dame defense.
OLB Anthony Barr, UCLA - Just ask Matt Barkley how good Barr is at linebacker.
ILB C.J. Mosley, Alabama - Actually kinda shocking he came back for his senior season in Tuscaloosa. Must have not wanted to take a pay cut for the NFL. Who can blame him? He's the MVP of a stifling Bama defense.
OLB Kyle Van Noy, BYU - This Stormin'Mormon is a heat-seeking missile who's about as sounds of a tackler as you will find in the college game.
CB Bradley Roby, Ohio State - This Buckeye was one of the few bright spots on a suspect D last season. He also returns punts at an All-American rate.
CB Ifo Ekpre-Olomu, Oregon - My apologies go to Lache Seastrunk. The Oregon Duck who forced 6 fumbles last season clearly has the most fucked up name.
S Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, Alabama - His parents were clearly high when he was delivered. Who the fuck names their kid Ha Ha? I guess LOL seemed inappropriate.
S Ed Reynolds, Stanford - Another Stanford nerd makes the team. If you haven't noticed they have been playing pretty good football the past 4 seasons.
K Cairo Santos, Tulane - He was perfect (21 of 21) in field goals with a long of 57 yards. Plus he doesn't rape chicks like the Michigan kicker. Two pluses in my book and in life.
P Kyle Christy, Florida - A punter with the last name of Christy huh? I guess Fairy would have looked too gay for the Gaytors.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 12:58 PM
I'm ready to run through a fucking wall right now. Georgia Tech student Nick Selby has my marbles all tingling with straight fire after this epic freshmen welcome speech.
THIS IS GEORGIA TECH!!!
PS - They will still get worked by Georgia. But at least their players can spell their own names.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 8:52 AM
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
It's official. Notre Dame is fucked. Might as well cancel the season according to this report from FoxSports1 College Football Kickoff Show. They lost head coach Brian Kelly along with WR Michael Floyd and safety Harrison Smith this offseason. But all is not lost since LB Manti Te'o is still playing for the Blue and Gold.
Great job by FoxSports1 breaking this story. I'll be sure to tune in for more breaking news.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 9:23 AM
Sunday, August 18, 2013
This is our new shirt called "Livin' The Hug Life." It's a vintage style shirt. Heather navy Hanes tagless 50/50 shirt. Distressed screen printed graphic. Soft feel. Very huggable t-shirt.
Order today! Shirts start shipping August 23rd and are limited edition!
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 9:29 PM
Thursday, August 15, 2013
This will be the first and probably only time you ever hear these words come out of my mouth when it comes to a Tennessee Volunteers football uniform: I like them. In fact I think these should become their permanent uniforms. The black/charcoal color looks really good. I know the Volunteers faithful are religious demigods about their helmet but if they could have made those matte black with the orange T popping on them then it would have been absolute perfection.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 9:38 AM
Poor Cam McDaniel. The third string tailback had to be the first to run into the backwards gauntlet sled after head coach Brian Kelly yelled "NO, IT'S NOT BACKWARDS!"
You can see Kelly trying to withhold his laughter after he realizes he fucked up. Luckily McDaniel wasn't hurt. His ego on the other hand?
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 9:14 AM
A live bat landed in the infield last night during yet another Phillies ass whooping by the hands of the Atlanta Braves at the Ted. Infielder Paul Janish scooped up Bruce Wayne fearlessly and delivered him to the bat boy. The bat boy then proceeds to take the bat into the Braves dugout and like a breaking curveball Dan Uggla totally flinches as usual.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 8:59 AM
I guess the Spartans forgot that whole "coach Mark Dantonio had a heart attack" issue from a couple of seasons ago because holy shit they pulled a fast one on him. Luckily for Michigan State he took it like a good sport and didn't drop dead on the spot. That would have been awkward.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 8:39 AM
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
The SEC fan bases can be a little "eccentric" at times. In other words they are so obsessed with their teams they have to find a way to express their love and devotion through musical lyrics. Unfortunately for new head coach Butch Jones some dipshit...I mean "fanatic"...created a song in honor of the first year coach. It's about as pretty as the checkered end zones in Neyland.
And not to be outdone are the Arkansas faithful with "I'm a Bielemer" tribute song.
So which one is more embarrassing?
I got to go with Arkansas. Only because two assholes decided to participate in it.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 12:45 PM
We are still 17 long days till college football kicks off but that is nothing in compared to the last time Michigan scored a touchdown against Notre Dame. It's been 700 days. I wouldn't worry about Michigan though. They are a really close knit team.
Those two were made for each other.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 7:55 AM
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
1. Virginia Tech's "Enter Sandman" into Lane Stadium is electrifying. Goose bump city. I would run through a wall coming out of the tunnel to that crowd and song.
2. University of Colorado with Ralphie the Buffalo running wild on the field. Some people like sideline reporter Jim Knox just can't handle the overall awesomeness of a wild beast running rampant in Boulder. It's about the only thing worth watching when it comes to Colorado football.
3. FSU's Spear in the middle of the field is fucking epic. Never been a Semen holes fan but I can admit their entrance is one of the best in college football.
4. Tennessee's running through the "T" formed by the Pride of the Southland Marching Band is a tradition unlike any other in the SEC.
5. Clemson coming down the hill in Death Valley after touching Howard's Rock brings chills to the purple and orange faithful.
Honorable mention: Wisconsin's Jump Around. Only because it is between the third and fourth quarters is why it doesn't get into the top 5 entrances. Still awesome to see so many drunks in Madison going crazy.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 9:32 AM