Wednesday, February 29, 2012

MLB Wild Cards Expanding This Season


According to Ken Rosenthal of Fox Sports Bud Selig has gotten his wish to expand the playoffs from the current 8 teams to 10 teams starting this season. From my understanding is two teams will have a one game playoff to determine who advances to the Wild Card stage. What it would have meant for last season is we could have seen the Atlanta Braves and Boston Red Sox continue their epic collapses for another game. I'm not really a big fan of expanded playoffs because the season is already way too long. They need to shorten the season and start it earlier while finishing it before October.

Baseball interest has been going down for years. Start spring training in February and the season in early March when sports is in it's doldrums. Do 144 games for the regular season. Have the playoffs start in September. If you want to expand the playoffs to 10 teams then fine but please start the season earlier. Once football is over it's excruciating trying to wait for the boys of summer to put on the cleats.

My new rules if I were in Bud Selig's shoes:
1) Spring Training 4 weeks starting in beginning of February.
2) 144 regular season games starting in early March.
3) Designated Hitters in both leagues.
4) 12 teams max make the playoffs.
5) Strict salary Cap with a max of $125 million and a minimum of $75 million. Whomever goes OVER or UNDER is not eligible for the playoffs and will lose revenue and draft picks. Make it strict!
6) And for shits and giggles no more 100 pitch counts just because I hate the pitch count. Arms shouldn't be measured by pitch count. It should be measured by MRI's.
7) MLB baseball takes ownership of the Baltimore Orioles, Pittsburgh Pirates and Los Angeles Dodgers because of incompetent ownership with a fair market value deal and sells it to someone who is willing to invest in their product.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Daytona 500 Highlights



A bunch of left turns, some wrecks, and some rain delays. Damn I can't believe I missed the excitement. Maybe next year I will actually give a shit.

Monday, February 27, 2012

2012 Top NFL Free Agents Predictions


NFL free agency begins March 13th and this year there are some huge names who could be switching uniforms. Unfortunately some of the biggest names will probably stay with their current team because they are too fucking good to just let them walk away. It's like having a good woman. You are not going to just let her walk away because you know it isn't going to get better without her rocking your shit every night.

1) Drew Brees-Don't worry New Orleans you are not going to lose Brees. Even at the age of 33 Brees continues to get better and is an elite QB who more than likely will have a bust in Canton. There is no way the Saints let him go. He will get a 6 year deal for over a $100 million with about $30 million in signing bonus.

2) Ray Rice-Rice has been dynamite in Baltimore and at the age of 25 still has at least 3 great years left on his tread. Like Brees I can't see the Ravens who run a great organization letting their best offensive player leave. The Ravens are trying to lock up QB Joe Flacco and it could effect how much they can give Rice. I say Rice resigns for six years at around $60 million with $20 million in signing bonus.

3) Mario Williams-Mario is coming off an injury and actually didn't contribute to the Texans first playoff run last season. Plus Houston doesn't have much cap room. Thus I see the Texans not resigning him. The Atlanta Falcons needs a pass rusher and Williams is the perfect fit especially with John Abraham leaving. Atlanta will sign him to 5 year contract for $65 million with $30 million in signing bonus.

4) Arian Foster-The Texans will lose Mario Williams because they will have to resign restricted free agent Foster. Foster is the focal point in the Texan's offense and will get paid accordingly. Foster will resign with Houston and get a similar deal to what Rice got with Baltimore: 6 years around $60 million. $20 million signing bonus.

5) Carl Nicks-Nicks is the best free agent guard when it comes to both pass blocking and run blocking and when you have a valuable piece like Brees to protect I find it very hard to believe the Saints will let Nicks go. Someway, some how the Saints will find cap room and resign Nicks although I am holding out hope he ends up in Atlanta. 8 years for $70 million. $25 million in signing bonus.

6) Matt Forte-Forte isn't staying in Chicago. Too much bad blood there especially since they didn't renegotiate his deal before his injury. The Bengals need a back and Forte would be a great fit. 4 year deal for $50 million. $22 million in signing bonus.

7) Cortland Finnegan-Finnegan is the top corner in the market and is just itching to get out of Tennessee. He seems like the type of player that Dallas would go after plus they need help in their secondary. The Cowboys will get their man with a 5 year deal for $48 million. $25 million in signing bonus.

8) Ben Grubbs-While losing Finnegan to free agency will hurt the Titans will gain a valuable guy to block for Chris Johnson in Baltimore free agent Grubbs. The Titans will sign Grubbs for 5 years at about $40 million. $14 million in signing bonus.

9) Cliff Avril-The Lions are one of the top up and coming teams in the NFL and Avril was a sack machine last year. The Lions have room to resign him and will do so. 4 year deal for $50 million to stay in Motown. $19 million in signing bonus.

10) Calais Campbell-The Cardinals want to resign Campbell but I don't think he wants to stay out west. The Hurricanes product is just entering his prime and the Dolphins have a need for a defensive end. In a way Campbell comes home and gets paid to be a professional athlete in the lovely city of Miami for the second time in his career.

Kate Upton Destroying Mankind With This Hardee's Commercial



Hardee's just hit a walk-off grand slam with this Kate Upton commercial. I think I honestly blacked out there for a while. This might be the greatest commercial ever. Fuck it. This IS THE GREATEST COMMERCIAL EVER!!!

Via HotClicks

Sacha Baron Cohen vs Ryan Seacrest



Trying to watch the Oscars is about as enjoyable as plucking your mole hairs but this shit Sacha Baron Cohen did to Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet was kind of funny. The amount of free advertising and publicity Cohen got for his new dictator movie for pulling this stunt is priceless. But the question everyone wants to know is who are those girls? I new dictators could get some good side pieces but those girls are super model quality. Someone needs to find out asap.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Ryan Braun Is Full Of Shit



Ryan Braun just pulled a Rafael Palmeiro. Listen I don't know Ryan Braun. I have never talked to him nor am I a Brewers fan. But I can tell he is lying.

There is no reason for MLB to go after one of their young superstars in Braun who is coming off a MVP season. He simply failed the test and got off on a technicality. There is a specific reason why MLB is pissed off. They know Braun's urine sample came out positive and it was through the roof by more than 3 times the highest level on record since they began testing.

Braun got off. He failed the test plain and simple. Every time I look at the Hebrew Hammer I can't help but think of Palmeiro in front of Congress. You can deny it all you want but there is no "boogeyman" tainting star ball players urine samples.

So either Braun is lying or some secret organization is out to "taint" Braun's reputation with a failed drug test. You be the judge.

Pearl Jam Sings "Jeremy Lin"



Yeah I know I promised I would stop with all the Jeremy Lin posts but shit, what else is there to talk about? Football and baseball are both not in season. Linsanity is basically the only interesting story happening right now in the sports world. I guess I could talk about Ryan Braun's winning appeal of a positive PED test but I have no idea what to believe or not in that whole case. Anyways Jimmy Fallon does a really good Eddie Vedder here and nails his newest hit "Jeremy (Lin)." Last night Lin had his worst game as a starter with as many turnovers as points (8) and the Knicks got smoked by the best team in the NBA in Miami. But all is not lost my friends. I had the Heat covering the 9 points.


Thursday, February 23, 2012

Shit Baseball Players Say



Not bad. I would like to add:

-It's so fucking hot out here.
-Catch the fucking ball.
-Don't be an asshole, run that shit out.
-Pick it bitch.
-My balls are swollen.
-I can hit this fucker.
-Don't worry they got a bunch of black players on their team.
-Kid has a cannon.
-Turn it.
-Move up in the box.
-ROCKET FIRE!
-Holy shit this guy throws slower than Jaime Moyer.
-Back in the day I used to play with ____.

Feel free to add your own in the comment section.

Tampa Slugger Evan Longoria Is Hitting Clean Up With Playboy Playmate Jaime Edmondson



I know it's gotta suck to be Tampa Bay Rays 3B Evan Longoria. Not only does Evan have to play baseball for money and suffer the humiliation of getting paid millions but now he has to deal with dating a charity case like Playboy Playmate Jaime Edmondson. I mean look at her! All busted up. Poor guy. You know it's not just the millions of American families out there suffering because the middle class keeps shrinking it's the ball players who have to face the adoring attention of having to stuff a Playboy bunny every other night. I feel bad for Longoria. I hope he can get through this tough time.

I'm praying for young Longoria.

Anywho back to pictures of his road beef...







Lighting Farts With David Alan Grier



Maybe it's because I have the mind of a 12 year old but farts are never not funny. The fact that David Alan Grier made a music video about lighting farts is gold in my book. I've got charred crack hair for memories of a childhood lost but never forgotten. Thanks David for the laughs.

Kate Upton Completely Nude



Granted you really can't see shit, well at least the important parts, of Kate Upton here in the magazine Muse (some fashion magazine bullshit) but that isn't going to stop me from posting it. It's my duty to get this young 19 year old that nobody has ever heard of some attention she deserves. I'm all about charity here folks. The charity of KAPOOW!

Kapoow=pageviews.

Via WWTDD

K-Swiss Blades By Kenny Powers



There are 3 things that an athlete needs to succeed: talent, strippers, and speed. Put all 3 of those together and you got Blades. A fucking crazy looking K-Swiss shoe that gives Patrick Willis the power to tackle wildebeests. That shit is real. And if people were wondering who would replace the late great Steve Jobs in terms of creativity and vision I think we all know who the answer is: Kenny Mother Fucking Powers.

Now go buy some Blades. And while you are at it go buy some SportsCrack shit. Don't be a dick. Do it. You know you want to.

Blake Griffin Dunks Over Multiple Nuggets



Great dunk and all Blake Griffin but I'm still pissed you couldn't cover the 9 vs the Nuggets last night. Sure you won by 8 but that doesn't do shit for me bro. You got to cover the spread before I start calling you a superstar. Yes the dunks are nice and you get hacked more often than Shaq did in his prime but if you want to be up there with the true legends you have to cover spreads for ole Fairchild. Jeremy Lin and the Knicks easily covered the 7 vs the Hawks last night. Mike Brey and his overachieving drunk leprechauns easily covered the 3 vs West Virginia last night too. If you want me to put you up on a pedestal like Brey and Lin then you gotta cover. Don't be a selfish asshole. Do it for me. Actually more importantly do it for my daughter. It's your fault I have to recycle diapers.

Thanks!

Degenerate

Jeremy Lin - Superior Lintellect Video



Is it bad that I raughed the whole time watching this Honey Badger-esque "Lintellect" video? Yeah I get it. I'm feeding into stereotypes about Asians being really good in arithmetic. We all know that's not wight.

Now go buy this Linsanity shirt!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Missouri Tigers Fan Enjoys Polishing The Knob



Little Mizzou brat just showing up ESPN's own brat in Doug Gottlieb with the old fake polishing knobs move. Come on kid. You need some new material. Now go back to your meth lab and try not to blow up anything.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Davonte Neal Signs With Notre Dame



Notre Dame's 2012 class is finally done with the announcement that 5 star prospect Davonte Neal has signed after a day full of drama. Earlier today a press conference was scheduled inside Neal's elementary school where he was expected to announce his decision between Notre Dame and the home state Arizona Wildcats. Neal never showed up. FoxSportsArizona.com scrambled to give some good explanation of Neal's absence and the best they could come up with 3 weeks after National Signing Day is that Neal still had not made up his mind. Rumors surfaced there was a struggle between Neal's father who wanted him to go to Notre Dame and Davonte who wanted to stay close to home and go to Tucson.

At this point who knows what the truth is?

What we do know is Notre Dame just picked up a tremendous playmaker on offense who has the chance to make an immediate impact in the fall. On tape Neal reminds me a lot of Golden Tate when he came out of high school in Nashville. Both are around the 5'9, have good balance, great speed, and can break tackles with tremendous leg strength and are special teams standouts. For my money I think Neal will be the best player in Notre Dame's 2012 class. The kid has superstar written all over him and I would expect head coach Brian Kelly to use him immediately in much the same way he used Marty Gilyard at Cincinnati.

Kate Upton Says Good Morning From Australia



How would you like to be the guy in charge of dusting out the sand out of her vagina? Yeah I know. What a disgustingly degrading job that must be. Women don't know how easy they have it.

Bill Raftery Screams "Onions" To UCONN's Shabazz Napier's Game Winning 3



Apparently Bill Raftery's screaming basketball orgasm includes fetishes with onions. I don't know whether to laugh or hide in a corner. But one thing I do know is I love the passion Raftery displayed and with March Madness right around the corner I'm looking forward to some more "ONIONS!" and "SEND IT IN BIG FELLA!" calls.

Video via TheBigLead

Monday, February 20, 2012

Saturday Night Live Does A Linsanity Open


Thursday, February 16, 2012

Bar Refaeli and Chris Paul On A Trampoline



I've been told to stop the video at the 1:57 mark. I don't know why. Can you tell me?

I'm kind of surprised Chris Paul isn't more cut up. Bar looks ok but I'm really disappointed in Paul. You are a professional athlete. You shouldn't have baby fat or love handles. I'm sure it doesn't matter as there is little doubt Paul has been penetrating the lane despite Bar's zone defense if you catch my drift. What I'm trying to say is they definitely fucked. Body language doesn't lie.

Video via Ball Don't Lie

Jeremy Lin's Top 10 Plays



Ok this is it for a while with the Jeremy Lin stuff. The kid again led the Knicks to their 7th consecutive win with 13 assists last night. You can see his confidence is through the roof right now as it should be. Carmelo better not fuck it up come Sunday. I got thousands of LINSANITY shirts on the line here ya know? Daycare, diapers, and scotch doesn't pay for itself so don't go ball hogging Melo.

Donate to the Fairchild family fund by buying a LINSANITY Shirt today. Or you can buy one of our other kickass shirts. Either way my kid and crumpled up liver would be thankful.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Kate Upton Just Straight Up Killing It With Her Dance Moves



The SI cover girl is on a fucking rampage. Kate Upton could end wars. And probably start some. But anyway who gives a shit? Look at those dance moves! Just straight up killing it like Jeremy Lin.

Jeremy Lin Does It Again With Game Winning Shot...Linsanity Continues



This is turning into the best sports story in a long, long time. Jeremy Lin has gone from a player who wasn't recruited out of high school, wasn't drafted out of college, and was cut by two NBA teams to a NBA Legend. It's LINSANE! Last night Lin went for 27 points with 12 coming in the 4th quarter including this game winner 3 in the final second. It's a story of perseverance and ultimately it's the ultimate underdog story. Sort of like watching a real life Rudy. I'm not a New York fan by any means but I can't help but root for this kid. Lin is the guy that nobody gave a chance and now he is proving so many people wrong. It's a great story and I hope it continues.

Order your LINSANITY T-Shirt here...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day



Our "friends" Rosie Jones and Kaylee Carver would like to personally tell you Happy Valentine's Day. Now go open your presents. Remember kids...VD is the gift that keeps on giving.

Via Egotastic

Friday, February 10, 2012

Russell Westbrook's Dunk Nearly Causes Reggie Miller And Chris Webber Dunkgasms



Holy shit that was an unbelievable dunk from the Thunders Russell Westbrook and as you can tell by TNT announcers Reggie Miller and Chris Webber they had both dunkgasms. You usually don't witness or hear dunkgasms outside of Slam Dunk Contests so maybe this was a premature dunkgasm.

By the way the Thunder went on to lose to the lowly Kings. I know it doesn't really matter but when you have money on the Thunder winning it is kind of big fucking deal. Assholes.

Thursday, February 09, 2012

LINSANITY New York Basketball Shirts Now For Sale!

Taking preorders now on LINSANITY Shirt. 100% pre shrunk charcoal cotton tee with distressed screen printed graphic on the front. Shirts start shipping February 13 so get your orders in today. Limited quantities.

Evgeni Malkin with the beautiful spin-o-rama shootout goal

I got to be completely honest with you. I have not been following much hockey this year. It still pains me to think we lost our team here in Atlanta because of shitty ownership. I guess it still hurts a lot. Scratch that. It hurts a fucking ton plus I don't have any team to root for. But what I can root for is sick goals and this one by Evgeni Malkin brings back fond memories of Denis Savard with the Blackhawks and Canadians.

Kenny Powers Open Letter to Tim Tebow


Grantland.com has this hilarious open letter from the man, the myth, the legend himself Kenny Powers to some guy named Tim Tebow. I don't know, you may have heard of this Tebow fellow. After you are done reading it be sure to go out and buy a Subway foot long so Grantland.com can keep on blasting us with annoying ads.

As Yogi Berra famously said, "it's like Deja Vu came all over itself again."

The more I read about Tim Tebow, the more I see similarities to my own life story. Our story begins with a young mother- to-be who wants an abortion. Instead, she mans up and has the baby, giving birth to a son-child.

This special son-child makes a life out of bucking the odds. Though neither the strongest nor the fastest, he excels at sports. Many experts doubt the remarkable lad. They tell him he throws funny, and that he doesn't have the right physique for the game. It's science, they say. He'll only go so far.

But the Gifted Young Athlete refuses to let the doubters shit in his Wheaties. To hell with science. The Gifted Young Athlete knows that he has something stronger. He has God on his side. So he presses on and keeps a good attitude, and every time he beats the odds in life he proves the experts wrong.

Next thing you know, there are folks calling it a miracle. Maybe the Gifted Young Athlete is blessed by the Almighty, they say. Perhaps he really does have a fucking angel on his shoulder.

And suddenly the experts don't look like experts anymore. By now, our hero has upset a whole lot of people. There are those who simply don't like the idea of a man being favored by God. They feel his special relationship with Jesus diminishes their own somehow. If Jesus loves the Gifted Young Athlete, what does he think of the rest of us? Bunch of assholes?

So the haters multiply, and soon the resentment reaches a boiling point. And that's when the torches and pitchforks and long knives come out. Yes, the world is given a savior but they choose to crucify him instead. Who'd a thunk it? The same old fuckin' story.

Maybe that's why Jesus likes us so much to begin with. He sees a little of himself in there.

You see, Gifted Young Athlete, people look at us and they see all they don't have. It's like, "homeboy's over there gettin' 'er done! And Jesus loves him too! Fuck that guy."

But can you really blame them? Wouldn't you be pissed? Jesus helps us win at sports games, yet he's nowhere to be found when poor people need important medicine for their kid's infection, or when they're late on a mortgage payment. Think about it. There are folks in Africa who get AIDS without even being gay. Yet here Jesus is, helping me & Tebow out in sports, just because we're maybe a little bit cooler in his eyes. It's a raw deal, plain and simple. Even though he's hooking me up, I still see it's kind of a cocksucker move on Jesus's part.

But my advice to you, Mr. Tebow, from one Gifted Young Athlete to another: don't kill yourself trying to make sense of all the madness. Just hold on to your dick and have a good time. Believe me, it's all you can do. Make no apologies, either. Those are for weak people, and the haters will hate you anyway. It's not our fault we're awesome, playboy. It's Jesus's. As the gorgeous bitches in the makeup commercials used to say, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

God Bless.

Kenny Powers
Shelby, NC


And this is why the internet was invented by Al Gore. How can you not love La Flama Blanca? He just told us that Jesus loves cool guys who are good at sports more than kids in Africa. And you know what? Powers is right. Preach on brotha man.

Jeremy Lin has started LINSANITY



New York Knicks rookie point guard and Harvard graduate Jeremy Lin (ladies calm down) completely crossed over the Wiz's John Wall last night and threw it down with author-ity in another remarkable game. Lin finished with 23 points and 10 assists in the 107-93 win over the Wizards. It won't approach Tebowing cult status but don't be surprised if LINSANITY takes over the NBA for the next couple of months. The Knicks and the NBA have needed a guy like this for a while. In his first 3 starts Lin has scored 25, 28, and now 23 points. If Lin keeps it up he could be one of the biggest superstars in basketball because he is a little guy who plays with emotion and also plays on the biggest stage in the Big Apple. LINSANITY has begun.

And yes a shirt is on the way.

Will Ferrell Does 80's Intro Night for Bulls vs Hornets



I always kinda figured Derrick Rose was a Notebook fan.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Two Girls Brawling at the Giants Super Bowl Parade



A couple of future "Real Housewives" right there. I could throw out a thousand different New York stereotypes but I will just let the video do my work. No need to waste my energy on these GINAS.



Video via TheBigLead via Guyism

These Faux Nike Pro Combat College Football Helmets Have to Happen

Over at LostLettermen.com they got a designer to do a series of faux Nike Pro Combat helmets for teams in the Big 10, Big 12, Pac-12, and the SEC. All of them are outstanding but these are the four I like the best from each conference.

I know Illinois is trying to veer off the whole Fighting Illini image but how can you not love this head dress? The rain would come down hard in Champaign with these bad boys...


With Charlie Weis in town you might as well go big with the helmet too. The oversized Jayhawk is on the basketball court already so why not take it to the football helmet?


The Arizona State Sundevil Sparky looks sinister on this helmet! You gotta love the shit eating grin!


This LSU helmet has to be done. It's simply fucking amazing looking. How could a player not want to go to war with the eye of the Tiger on your helmet? If I was an opponent these helmets would definitely make me think twice about going over the middle on LSU.


Be sure to check out LostLettermen.com for more of the helmet concepts.

And before you ask I think a Notre Dame gold helmet with either the Fighting Irish leprechaun over sized on it would be cool or a navy helmet (I know sacrilegious) with a gold interlocking ND on it would be tight. The helmet now is great but I wouldn't mind once a year coming out with some new.

Artie Lange Kills It With His "Boston" Rap



Boston-"The City where Bucky Dent made the Red Sox look like the cast of Rent!"

Boston-"Where dreams are shattered...black people don't matter!"

Boston-"Where the White House is holy, unless you are the Bruins jerk-off goalie!"

Boston-"Where if a brotha gets mouthy, he gets dropped off in Southie!"

Boston-"You know Brady is always going to have game, even if his first kid don't share his last name!"

Boston-"This town is a big joke, where Len Bias bought bad coke!"

Boston-"Manning to Cruz, get ready to lose!"

Boston-"People leave here and they show no remorse, like Wade Boggs in pinstripes riding on a horse!"

Boston-"Last year the Red Sox had a team to remember, they would have won it all if it wasn't for a little thing called September!"

Be sure to check out the Nick & Artie Show at www.nickandartie.com

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Maria Menounos Lost Her Super Bowl Bet, Wears Giants Bikini



Extra Host Maria Menounos lost a friendly wager with a friend in which she bet her Patriots would beat the Giants in the Super Bowl or she would have to wear a bikini on air. Thanks to the clutch play of Eli Manning the world got to see Maria decked out in just a top and bottom. I would say that is better than going to Disney World.

Image via WWTDD

Jimmy Kimmel Challenge: Unplug the TV During the Super Bowl



Those are some brave souls. I would have gone bat shit crazy. I'm not saying someone would have died but they wouldn't be walking for at least a few days.

Rob Gronkowski's Ankle Appears To Be Fine



It's strange I don't see New England Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski limping around with a bad ankle after the Patriots lost to the Giants in this video. Hey I have no problem with players going all out partying after a tough loss to end the season. You are only young once so you might as well enjoy it. But I'm sure a lot of Pats Nation including Tom Brady is going to take this video the wrong way. You can't cage the Gronk. The only problem I have is with all the sausage flailing around. You are a professional athlete. You should have girls around dancing trying to have million dollar babies with you. Not a bunch of hanging meat in tight shirts. You are better than this Gronk.

Via BarStoolSports

Friday, February 03, 2012

Tim Tebow with Kate Upton and Chrissy Teigen



That son of a bitch finally did it! Tim Tebow had everybody fooled with the whole "virgin" tag and now he has two Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models ready to devour him. Play on playa!

Via TheBigLead on the Indy set of The Dan Patrick Show

Andrew Luck Autograph Stanford Mini Helmet



We just got a few of these Andrew Luck Stanford Cardinal Mini Helmets in stock. They retail for $200 but I'm going to sell them for $125 a piece.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Les Miles Rips Gunner Kiel A Big One



The Mad Hatter didn't exactly take the high road when it came to his thoughts about Gunner Kiel, the five star quarterback, who decided to go to Notre Dame instead of LSU. I love Linda Cohn's reaction to it..."Wow." Yeah it's probably not the best idea to just crush high school kids for not picking your school. Next time if you are Les Miles you might just want to be happy for the kids who decided to play for you and not the one who got away.

Kate Upton Slow Motion Video



I imagine this would be what time would do if I actually met Kate Upton. Everything would just slow down as the cops handcuffed me and pulled my pants up. A man can dream right?

Cassanova McKinzy Picked Auburn Because They Have A Chick-Fil-A On Campus



Typical SEC football decision for a recruit. Forget about the dorms or the education or the girls. Nope for LB Cassanova McKinzy the reason why he picked Auburn over Clemson was because they had a Chick-Fil-A on campus. And while I will fully admit Chick-Fil-A is the shit and I pretty much eat there every other day I'm not sure if I'm going to pick a school because they have one on location. Nope. My choice would have been determined by the watering hole. Got to keep your priorities straight or you will end up like Deontay Greenberry and wake up this morning and realize you decided to play football at fucking Houston.

Sh*t People Say At A Super Bowl Party



Via HotClicks

Kenny Powers Is Back For A 3rd Season



Just a couple of more week bitches till Kenny Powers starts running his super star game on HBO's Eastbound and Down. It looks like they are bringing April back. Tatas for miles. With his new sidekick Shane played by Jason Sudeikis hopefully that doesn't mean we have less of Stevie Janowski. Stevie cracks me up pretty much every scene he is in.

Rumor is this will be the last season of Eastbound and Down. This better be a fucking god damn lie. The world needs more of Kenny Powers but it sounds like Danny McBride wants to ride off into the sunset. Don't be an asshole Danny. Kenny MuthaFukin Powers has at least a shelf life of 5 seasons. Make it happen.