Friday, December 31, 2010

THE SUN BOWL AKA SNOW BOWL TODAY PREDICTION


Picture courtesy of Matt Cashore

Here is the weather report from IrishIllustrated.com's Pete Sampson...

Up in the pressbox at the Sun Bowl looking down on a snow-covered field, which is being "cleared" by a golf cart pulling some kind of plow. Other officials are clearly the yard lines by dragging their field the width of the field to show every 10-yard mark. Notre Dame officials have taken matters into their own hands on the sidelines, scraping away snow with folding chairs, card tables and rakes. I spy one shovel in the whole crew.

By halftime the field should be cleared off. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.


That's right folks, we got some snow in El Paso. Clearly Notre Dame decided to bring the arctic blast with them in order to freeze out the tropical Miami Cocanes. According to Vegas Da U is a 3 point favorite. They have no head coach and their quarterback blows and they will be playing in the snow against a hot Notre Dame team. Yeah. You know who I'm fucking taking here.

The Catholics will be bringing a steady dose of Cierre Wood and Robert Hughes all game and try to shove it down the Canes throats. Notre Dame's defense will be relentless and cause at least 3 picks from Jacory Harris. Miami will dig themselves to big of a hole to get out of and the Irish will cruise despite a late scare.


Prediction: Catholics 21 Convicts 17

Go Irish!!!



Thursday, December 30, 2010

EVERETT GOLSON'S SENIOR FILM IS OUTSTANDING



I can't wait for this kid to be competing in South Bend this spring.

Elusive runner: Check.

Rocket arm: Check.

Throwing accuracy: Check.

Proven winner: Check.

Everett Golson brings back memories of Charlie Ward ripping it up down in Semenhole Country. He's 6 foot at best but the way he moves around the pocket and keeps his head down field even when under pressure is reminiscent to Ward when he was winning a Heisman. Golson will be the perfect fit for Brian Kelly's spread offense. He's extremely accurate and quick with his decisions. I'm not going to go out on a limb and say he starts next season as a true freshman but I do believe one of the other quarterbacks (sophomores Tommy Rees, Andrew Hendrix, and Luke Massa) will transfer due to Golson jumping ahead of them.

Monday, December 27, 2010

TIME TO RISE UP AND CLINCH THE HOME FIELD FOR THE FALCONS



No more posts after this one. I'm already wrapped in four layers of clothing getting ready to head down to the Dome to see the Falcons beat the shit out of the Saints. The tailgating gear is packed. The beer is cold. I won't be able to feel anything since it's in the 20's down here in "Hot"lanta but I could care less. It's time for the Atlanta Falcons and Matty Ice to clinch home field for the eventual NFC Champions Atlanta Falcons. You got that right folks. The Falcons will be going to Dallas in early February and yes we are going to fuck up Tom Brady. Mark it down. Put it in stone.

Falcons Fever Bitches!


Image courtesy of AJC.com

Friday, December 24, 2010

INGA FROM SWEDEN SAYS MERRY CHRISTMAS (AND NEEDS A SPANK)



I wanted to send everyone out with a Merry Christmas and since you are naughty I might as well give you a spanking.

The talking banana in this video brought tears of laughter. This might be the greatest Christmas song of all-time by the way.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Bucknuts Busted...


Five Ohio State players will sit out the first five games of next season and one additional player will sit out the first game of next season, all for receiving improper benefits as far back as 2009. One of these players is Ohio State QB Terrell Pryor who was recently quoted on Twitter as saying "I paid for my tattoos. GoBucks". I have tattoos and a job that pays well and I couldn't afford the work Pryor has. He paid for tatts and I'm running for president. In the words of Dr. Gregory House, "IDIOT!".


What I don't quite get is how these players, who have been found to have been receiving improper benefits for 2 years are punished for 5 games. Why have the victories not been forfeited? How are these guys playing in the bowl game? Looks like the NCAA plays favorites. I don't give a crap if all of these guys play, plus their 2011 recruits. I can't wait to watch Arkansas blow out yet another over rated Ohio State team. They probably shouldn't play and save themselves another embarrassing SEC loss then complain they didn't have their entire team.

Check out the full story here as reported by ESPN.com and the Associate Press

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- Five Ohio State football players, including quarterback Terrelle Pryor, must sit out the first five games of the 2011 season for accepting improper benefits, the NCAA ruled Thursday.

A sixth football player must sit out the first game in 2011 for receiving discounted services in violation of NCAA rules.

All of the players be eligible for the Jan. 4 Allstate Sugar Bowl, however.

Five players were found to have sold awards, gifts and university apparel, plus receive improper benefits in 2009. In addition to missing five games next season, Pryor, Mike Adams, Daniel Herron, Devier Posey and Solomon Thomas must repay money and benefits ranging in value from $1,000 to $2,500. The repayments must be made to a charity.

Jordan Whiting must sit out the first game next year and pay $150 to a charity for the value of services that were discounted because of his status as a student-athlete.

The NCAA announced the suspensions on Thursday, shortly before Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith and coach Jim Tressel were to meet with reporters to discuss the university's investigation of players trading autographs for tattoos.

Adams must repay $1,000 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring and Herron must repay $1,150 for selling his football jersey, pants and shoes for $1,000 and receiving discounted services worth $150.

Posey must repay $1,250 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring for $1,200 and receiving discounted services worth $50, while Pryor must repay $2,500 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring, a 2009 Fiesta Bowl sportsmanship award and his 2008 Gold Pants, a gift from the university.

Solomon must repay $1,505 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring for $1,000, his 2008 Gold Pants for $350 and receiving discounted services worth $155.

"These are significant penalties based on findings and information provided by the university," Kevin Lennon, NCAA vice president of academic and membership affairs, said in a statement released by the NCAA.

The players are eligibile for the bowl game because the NCAA determined they did not receive adequate rules education during the time period the violations occurred, Lennon said.

"We were not as explicit with our student-athlete education as we should have been in the 2007-08 and 2008-09 academic years regarding the sale of apparel, awards and gifts issued by the athletics department," Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith said in a statement. "We began to significantly improve our education in November of 2009 to address these issues. After going through this experience, we will further enhance our education for all our student-athletes as we move forward."

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

REX RYAN DOESN'T DENY THE FOOT FETISH VIDEO



You know I never thought I would see the day where boisterous Rex Ryan was just be flat out embarrassed. Now I just feel bad for the guy. But then again if it was such a private issue then why is he and the wifey making videos and posting them on the internet? The New York Media is going to eat this guy alive starting with the feet.

TAKE BOISE STATE TO COVER TONIGHT



Besides the hiccup against Nevada in which their kicker pulled a Finkle Boise State has been straight up crushing teams. They get to vent off some frustration tonight in the Las Vegas Bowl vs. Utah. Kellen Moore is going to be throwing bombs all game and I don't think this game will even be close. Utah maybe a top 20 team but Boise is really a top 4 team.

Take Boise State to cover the 16 and go make some god damn foot fetish snuff films.

Prediction: Boise State 48 Utah 17

"LET'S GO EAT A GOD DAMN FOOT" FETISH REX RYAN VIDEO



This is a video of Rex Ryan's wife, Michelle, showing off her feet while Rex narrates and apparently gets off on the sight of his wife's feet. Out of all the fetishes I never understood the foot thing. Feet are nasty. Give me some boobs, ass, lips, and legs and I can understand the fascination. But feet? Gross.

Get your shit straightened out Rex. Or go get a god damn snack. Stop being a jackass.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

LINGERIE FOOTBALL BENCH CLEARING BRAWL



If that douchebag Geno whatever the fuck his name is who coaches women's basketball at UCONN wants the media and the world to actually care about their stupid winning streak maybe they should take a cue card from the Lingerie Football League. Actually never mind. I don't even watch Ultimate Fighting because there is too much ball grabbing and random nut shots. I could only imagine what it would be like with women's basketball. It's been a while since I've made myself vomit but I think I just broke the streak with the thought. Fuck.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Dan Connolly... my hero

Who says lineman can't run?!?!? Mr. Connolly, I love you, you're my hero. Check out the video on YouTube.

Greinke to the.... Brewers?!?!

MLB Photo
What's up sports fans? I hope all of you are having a great holiday season. I bet none of you are having happier holidays than a Mr. Carl Crawford, Mr. Jason Werth, or Mr. Cliff Lee, that is unless you are Frank Wren or Doug Melvin. Of course the headlines will be full of the new $100 million men, but what about the genius trades by Wren and Melvin this off season?

AP Photo/John Bazemore
Let's start with Wren. Everyone in Atlanta has given Wren the WTF face at one point or another. Let's be honest, who would've thought picking up Troy Glaus and Eric Hinske would send the Braves to their first post season in 4 years? Wren also picked up a serviceable Melky Cabrera and lefty reliever Mike Dunn for Javier Vasquez who did what with the Yankees? Granted, Wren also engineered the Rick Ankiel and Kyle Farnsworth deals, but who can blame the guy for taking a chance? To follow up last year's off season, Wren must have felt the Marlins got a directive from Santa Claus himself by practically giving away Dan Uggla, one of the most offensively talented second base in history. The Braves will miss Omar Infante, but the buy low sell high model was nothing but sheer genius. The Braves lost Dunn (see above) and Infante, a career utility infielder, to shore up the one thing the Braves have been missing since the glory days of Andruw Jones, a clean up hitter. Martin Prado was more than willing to move to left and will eventually take over for Chipper Jones when Chipper soon becomes the hitting coach of the Braves (just a personal prediction). What's amazing about the trade is that the Braves essentially will, according to rumors, get Uggla for 5 years at around $60 million, which is the same yearly salary the Marlins were offering, and did not give up a single one of their top 25 prospects to pick up a 30 HR, 80 RBI guy who has more than excelled at Turner Field. To those who are criticizing signing Uggla long term, take a look at his numbers, only Albert Pujols has hit more home runs in the last five years and are first all time for a middle infielder in his first five season, ahead of Ernie Banks by 18 HRs. If the Marlins are ready to give away Hanley Ramirez, I'm sure the Braves will be more than willing to send Brooks Conrad and Christian Martinez or Peter Moylan to the Marlins. Good luck to you Mr. Jeffrey Loria. I can't wait to see Uggla put a stake in the Marlins' hearts in 2011.

AP Photo
Doug Melvin also deserves a genius label for his latest deal. The guy goes out and gets Shaun Marcum, a legitimate #2 pitcher, and then trades a few prospects for a true ace to compliment the young and impressive Yovanni Gallardo. If the Brewers had a strong catcher, they'd be straight out scary. With Ricky Weeks, Prince Fielder, Ryan Braun, Corey Hart, the emergence of Casey McGeHee, and Carolos Gomez, the Brewers are a preseason contender. Of course the Brewers gave up a talented but unproven Lorenzo Cain and a potential future phenom that is Jeremy Jeffress, but the Brewers also improved by adding Yuniesky Betancourt and sending Alcides Escobar to the Royals in the deal. The only positive spin for the Royals is that Dayton Moore proved to be a great asset in Atlanta and has taken the Braves' model of building a world class farm system with talent behind talent behind talent to ensure that the future is bright, but losing Greinke and signing Melky Cabrera and Jeff Francouer aren't exactly moves that get you recognized as GM of the year. For Mr. Moore, I hope I eat my words, but at least he won't have to face Greinke in the near future like Loria will face Uggla in Florida.

What other moves have been surprising this off season?

DESEAN JACKSON GAME WINNING PUNT RETURN (TECMO BOWL STYLE)



Brilliant job by the Giants kicking a line drive punt to the NFL's fastest player in Desean Jackson. Genius. While the Eagles were scraping and clawing to pull out an improbable win the Atlanta Falcons were just doing what they do every week: another easy win while covering the spread. The Falcons are the best team in the NFL. They have become the model franchise. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick look in the mirror and wish they were Matt Ryan and Mike Smith.

Video HT: Frank V at UHND.com

YAY OR NAY: "I JUST HAD SEX" MUSIC VIDEO



It's got some strong cameos with Jessica Alba and Blake Lively playing the disgruntled girlfriend roles and tennis legend/brat John McEnroe making faces but I just don't know whether to laugh because it's funny or just pathetic. Sandberg nailed funny with Justin Timberlake a few years back with "Dick in the Box" but "I Just Had Sex" with Akon doesn't have the same rip roaring laugh factor. Oh well, fuck it. With that being said I hope you enjoyed the video. God knows I built it up for you.

Friday, December 17, 2010

SORRY




Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I've been busy as shit. You know the usual? Drinking and passing out with my pants down to my god damn ankles. So I offer you these pictures of Yesica Toscanini who is apparently one of SI's new swimsuit models. Warms the heart doesn't it?

Hey if you are looking for some last minute steals on Christmas presents you should check out our Ebay page. We got Rudy and Montana autographed Notre Dame mini helmets, JoePa signed 16X20, Herschel Walker, Andrew Luck, Marcus Allen, Heisman stuff and other items starting at just $9.99.

For instance this Heisman Trophy Mini Helmet signed by 15 winners!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

TWO UNBELIEVABLE WINNING SHOTS BOTH INVOLVING ANNAPOLIS, MD HIGH SCHOOL



I don't want to brag or anything but what is the big fucking deal? I was hitting these shots in 7th grade. I was the Larry Bird of Alpharetta hoops. Sure I didn't have a mullet or a rat tail but I could pretty much nail any shot from anywhere on the court. I could have been a contender people but in the end the sex, drugs, and booze won out when I reached high school. Ok just the drugs and booze but you get the picture.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

MY THOUGHTS ON THE MIAMI AND FLORIDA HIRINGS

With the holidays in full swing and a newborn rocking my every second I haven't had time to reflect on the Will Muschamp to Florida and Al Golden to Miami hirings. Here are some rambling semi-hungover thoughts on both.

Will Muschamp: Right now I'm 50/50 on this. It could honestly go either way. I'm a little taken back that Muschamp is a UGA Grad and is now the head coach for their hated rivals in Gainesville but then again college football is a business. A very big one at that. Muschamp was probably the hottest coordinator/head coach in waiting. He was suppose to be Mack Brown heir apparent. Obviously it didn't work out that way and Texas was an utter disaster this season at 5-7. Muschamp couldn't take the blame because he was solely the defensive coordinator but then again I don't remember Texas off the top of my head ever having a dominant swarming defense. I do remember Alabama giving it to them pretty good last year in the BCS Championship game. I'm surprised Florida didn't go after Dan Mullen at Mississippi State. He would have been the perfect hire for the job as Urban's replacement. The last time Florida picked an assistant to replace a Swamp Legend it ended in disaster with two words that are now considered offensive in Gainesville: Ron Zook. I'm not saying Muschamp is the next Zook but I think Florida took a gamble giving a head coaching job for as high of a profile job as it currently is to a guy who has never proven it as the main man. For all I know Muschamp could be the next Nick Saban and maybe Mack Brown gave him a lot of head coaching duties this past season to groom him.

Grade: B-

Al Golden: This has the same feeling of when Georgia Tech got Paul Johnson from Navy. Golden is one of the best young up and coming coaches in college football. In fact he may be the best. Personally I wanted Miami to hire Jon Gruden because it was a sexy hire and it would have brought some flash and attention back to Coral Gables where it has been missing since the early part of this century. The thing is I wasn't sure if Gruden would have been successful coaching the college game. I have the exact opposite feeling with Golden. Golden was rumored to be the eventual coach at his alma mater Penn State whenever JoePa decided to hang up the coke bottles or croak on the sidelines. Golden was a d-coordinator at Virginia under George Welsh after being a grad assistant at Penn State. He improved the Cavaliers defense tremendously while in Charlottesville. They went from 108th overall in total defense to 18th. Their scoring defense improved by 10 points using his 3-4 scheme. In 2005 he was named Temple University head coach. He was the second youngest coach at the time. Temple is god awful at football. Their history and tradition didn't exist before Golden got there. In fact they were 3-31 during the three prior seasons before Golden arrived. He quickly turned it around with a 4-8 record in 2006 and then a 5-7 record in 2007. It might not seem a lot but already he had tripled their win total in two seasons. By his fourth season he got Temple to a bowl game with a 9-4 record and then this season led them to a 8-4 season. This was unheard of at Temple. Now in Miami I fully expect him to take advantage of the great recruiter he already was and put a border around all the South Florida recruits. Miami is already loaded with talent and Golden should be able to do what Randy Shannon couldn't do: win games. Lots of them. Miami better enjoy these next few seasons because it could be short especially if Golden does eventually go back to Happy Valley to replace JoePa. As much as I don't like Miami I'm looking forward to them winning again. College Football needs a good villian. A "CONVICT" if you say so. Golden will do great things in Coral Gables.

Grade: A++

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

FanPHuckingTastic

(AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)
I think I crapped myself when the news broke last night. Cliff Lee to the Phils may have created the best pitching rotation since, well since baseball was invented. Four of the top four pitchers now pitch for the same team. I'm being a little dramatic, but still. This move goes back to the Braves model of overloading a team with pitching to ensure the win. The difference is the Phillies have one of the most potent offenses in baseball. Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins, Shane Victorino, and future superstar Dominic Brown to go with that rotation is simply unbelievable. I have to admit I did smile at the huge middle finger the Phillies just gave to the Yankees, but then realized the Braves are no longer the favorite to win the NL East and decided to throw up immediately. Is anyone else's head still spinning?!?!?

Let's look at this realistically. The Phillies rotation is simply amazing, but do the Braves still have a shot without adding a single player to their already tough line up? My answer may be a bit of a stretch, but yes. The Braves have a pretty solid pitching rotation themselves. Tim Hudson enjoyed a career season last year and has been a true ace since his days in Oakland, Derek Lowe remains a consistent top of the rotation guy, Jair Jurrjens (excluding injuries) has proven to be a young stud, and Tommy Hanson, the future ace of the staff, anchoring the rotation is not a pitching rotation to laugh at. If you look at our fifth starter, Mike Minor, I would be willing to argue that the Braves may have the second best rotation in baseball.

Further, if Chipper comes back healthy, a line up featuring Prado, Heyward, Chipper, McCann, Uggla, and Gonzo is not exactly a line up to take for granted. That's not even including a glimmer of hope that Freeman lives up to half of his billing. If you look at the possibility of McClouth returning to form or Schafer living up to expectations, the Braves 1 - 8 batters will be just as deadly as the Phillies.

Now let's consider the bullpen. There isn't a better bullpen in baseball than the Atlanta Braves. With Kimbrel and Venters anchoring and Marek coming up this year, the future still looks bright. The only thing the Braves could do is trade for an establish young center fielder or 3rd baseman, or better yet, talk Billy Wagner out of retirement.

If all other reasoning fails, the Braves only have to play the Phillies 15 times next season. I'll take 147 - 15 any year! Leave some comments and let me know what you think!

Monday, December 13, 2010

JOE PATERNO CAN'T HEAR YOU!


Joe Paterno apparently has a hard time hearing things. Try not to laugh while listening to this Steve Duemig podcast.

Big HT to UseDave

Legends and Leaders... LOLOL

The Big Ten's new logo (apparently)

I'm rolling on the floor. Excuse my SEC elitism, but really?!?!? The Big Ten can't even count the number of teams in the conference before the shake up, now they are splitting into two divisions and naming them "Legends" and "Leaders"? How about "Has Beens" and "Have Nots".

There has never been a conference more underachieving than the Big Ten. With names like Ohio
State, Penn State, Michigan, and Michigan State, you would think you'd be staring at powerhouse after powerhouse. Reality is that the rest of the nation looks at the Big Ten like a fun house. Let's face it, Joe Paterno is old, there's no other way to describe him, he's a figure head, Jim Tressell's nickname is "The Vest". Really?!?! What kind of Stan Lee character would "The Vest" be? I can only imagine an old guy in a Mr. Rogers sweater vest killing the world with kindness. Rich Rodriguez is no "Leader", much less a "Legend", unless you look at his epic fall from grace since being the "feel good" WVU coach who learned how to win. Little did we know, that too was all a scam.

The Big Ten hasn't been relevant in years. Some of you may argue that Ohio State is a powerhouse, but Ohio State plays a lower strength of schedule than Boise State who they were criticizing. Let's be realistic sports fans, the Big Ten is no longer Big and hasn't been Ten in years. Who's go two thumbs and still can't figure out why in the hell the Big Ten is still going to be called the Big Ten?!?!? THIS GUY!

Before I get too much backlash from the Big Ten fans of the world, please, go win a real game. Stop bragging about Ohio State never losing a game to a team from the state of Ohio. Seriously, the rest of the planet is over it.

Muschamp's a GAY-tor!!!

Photo Courtesy of Getty Images
Wow!?!?! What else do you say?!?! Will Muschamp, the ex-UGA safety and coach-in-waiting from the Texas Longhorns is succeeding Urban Meyer at Florida. While Muschamp deserves a pat on the back, I have to admit, I'm sad to see our two biggest rivals, yes I'm omitting GA Tech from the title of "biggest rival" until they learn how to beat UGA, coached by UGA grads. While it has to say something about the distinction of the UGA pedigree, Derek Dooley and Will Muschamp are now frienemies and Florida's Assistant AD is now UGA's AD... CRAZY TIMES!!!

To scare me even more, there have been rumors that Muschamp is going to pull Kirby Smart from Alabama. I'm in no way advocating for Richt to leave, but Smart is my one hope for UGA's next coach if Richt is not around in the next couple of years. While pulling Smart would be a genius move by Muschamp and Florida, I'm praying they can't pull it off.

It's going to be interesting to see a shift in mind set from offense to defense for the Gators. Florida has the atheletes, the recruiting base, and a hell of a recruiter as their head coach. The Gators are going to stay scary good for a long time if things work out. I'm not sold on the idea of "hot assistants" being able to perform at head coach consistently, but if anyone can do it, Muschamp can. The good news is that even the best head coaches have issues in their first year and with a shift in mind set and a new coaching staff being brought in, next year may be another tough year for Florida. The bad news for Dawgs fans like me, Florida's sun is still shining and it's going to shine brightly for years to come.

Stokesypants... YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BOY!

Yes, this blog is a sports blog, but every once in a while you are inspired and you have to share. A cheap promotion, maybe, a shameless promotion, definitely, but my boys deserve some props. Atlanta's own Stokeswood has been tearing it up in Atlanta for a few years now and while they are now tearing down Miami on a monthly basis, New York every once in a while, and the rest of the globe soon enough, Ole Stokesypants is stopping by their hometown of Newnan to do a show at the Brickhouse on Friday night. Anyone who reads this blog knows I have no shame in plugging whatever I damn well please so if you are into great music and want to have a great time in the Atlanta area, come check out Stokeswood Friday night. Trust me, it'll be well worth the drive and you can even poke fun at my "ridiculous" college picks to my face.

Until Friday, check out Stokeswood online at stokeswood.net, on iTunes, and soon to be in your hearts. Check out a couple previews of the guys rocking out, don't know about you, but my fist is pumping as you're reading this...





Sunday, December 12, 2010

JETS ASSISTANT COACH PULLS A TOTAL DICK MOVE



I don't usually get too pissed off at sports, actually never mind I do, but this shit really irritated me. How in the fuck does this Jets assistant coach have the balls to pull a stunt like this? He should be castrated and kicked out of the country. Not only is this embarrassing to the Jets but it's a fucking disgrace. I hope the Jets go down the shitter and lose the rest of the way. Plus those dickheads cost me a clean sweep on my NFL picks today. If you are going to cheat so blatantly at least win the fucking game and help out my pockets. Fucking dicks!

METRODOME ROOF COLLAPSES



Just a wild guess here but I don't think they will be playing football tomorrow at the Metrodome.

NFL PICKS


Today is a great day to make some money on the NFL. We are getting down to the final stretch of the season towards the playoffs and teams are jockeying for home field advantage. Right now the Patriots and the Falcons are sitting in the driver's seat and will not be letting up because they know one slip up could cost them home field. That is why I am betting big on two road teams who just happen to be leading the NFL Power Rankings according to ESPN.com.

These odds come courtesy of our friends at NFL ODDS at BetUS:

New England Patriots (-3) at Chicago Bears
Yes I know the Patriots are coming off a short week after dismantling the Jets on Monday Night Football 45-3 and the Bears have had the extra day of rest but Tom Brady is going to carve up the Bears secondary. The Bears have been playing above and beyond this whole season and I think we are due for one of those Jay Cutler WTF was he thinking days when he throws about 3 picks. Take the Pats on the road.
Prediction: Patriots 28 Bears 17

Atlanta Falcons (-7) at Carolina Panthers
On paper this is a total mismatch and if it was in the Georgia Dome the Falcons would be favored by 15 points. The Falcons come in at 10-2 and like I said before they are not going to let up knowing they are almost unbeatable when it comes to their home field which they still need to clinch. The Panthers on the other hand are awful at 1-11 and have a rookie QB in Jimmy Clausen who might be having one of the worst statistical NFL seasons for a QB. The Falcons will come in focused and will punish the Panthers big time.
Prediction: Falcons 34 Panthers 13

Miami Dolphins at New York Jets (-5)
The Jets were humiliated Monday Night. It was a wakeup call for Rex Ryan and his team. They still have an outside chance of gaining a home game in the playoffs but they have to continue to win. The Dolphins have been a thorn in their side for decades but I don't think they will put up much of a fight.
Prediction: Jets 27 Dolphins 17

Friday, December 10, 2010

"THAT'S A SHITTY HOCKEY GOAL JOE"



You gotta love the honesty in the voice of hockey announcer Craig Laughlin. I honestly didn't think it was that shitty of a goal. I've seen shittier.

Video HT: TheBigLead

Thursday, December 09, 2010

FUCK THIS COLD WEATHER, BAR RAFAELI TO THE RESCUE



It warmed me up. Got the blood flowing so to speak.

BUSTER OLNEY NAILS IT WITH THE ORIOLES ANGST


The last few days of the MLB Winter's Meetings have been exciting for this Orioles fan. They filled major holes in the infield by trading for Mark Reynolds and JJ Hardy and also resigned their closer Koji Uehara. But honestly I can not get too excited because the Red Sox signed Carl Crawford for a billion dollars after trading for Adrian Gonzalez. And the Yankees will probably sign Cliff Lee because like the Red Sox they overpay for everybody. ESPN'S Buster Olney sums it up perfectly to how this Orioles fan feels even after the major moves....

"If they were in the American League West, we'd be talking about if X, Y and Z happened, maybe they would contend. But in this division, they are 100 miles away," Olney said. "They have so far to go upstream, it's like watching a salmon at the mouth of whatever river. … That's why, in my own feeling, I wish baseball would realign and take out the divisions. The Rays' window may have just closed for good.

"There is a huge gap between [the Yankees and Red Sox] and the rest of their division. It's almost like it has to be a combination of brilliant work by someone like [Rays GM] Andrew Friedman with luck to get one of the other teams in the mix. For somebody that covered that team, I feel bad. You just have this huge generations of Orioles fans waiting to be inspired and I can't see it anytime soon."


Until there is a hard salary cap the game is always going to be in favor of the major market teams. The two shitbirds (Yankees and Red Sox) should honestly just join as one team. There is no difference between them. They have formed into two perfect Evil Empires. And it's not their fault because Bud Selig is too fucking dumb to do anything about it. As long as he is getting paid and the owners are cashing it in he could careless about competitive balance. And please don't give me the argument about how their have been 8 different World Series Champions in 10 years. The playoffs are a crap shoot. Anything can happen. The problem is over a 162 game schedule it's not fair for the Orioles, Blue Jays, and Rays to have play 19 games each against all the other teams in the AL Beast.

If they aren't going to do a hard cap then realign the divisions like Olney says. The Mets, Cubs, Phillies, Red Sox, and Yankees can all be in the same division. Let them beat the shit out of each other and spend the most money to win the division.

USC GRANDMA FURTHER EMBARRASSING THE SCHOOL



As if Lane Kiffin and the sanctions weren't enough. Now you have some horny old ass grandma freak dancing at your tailgates. I don't know whether to laugh or throw up.



Video HT: George Lee

THE RED SOX CLINCHED THE AL EAST LAST NIGHT, SIGNED CARL CRAWFORD


Don't worry Red Sox fans. Your long postseason void of one whole season will all be forgotten in 2011. Red Sox Nation no longer has to suffer the plight of being labeled "3rd place" in the best division in baseball. Yes, they have agreed in principle to sign the biggest free agent on the market in LF Carl Crawford.

7 years. $142 million. What recession?

In the past 5 days the Red Sox have added All-Star first baseman Adrian Gonzalez and now Crawford. It's actually quite fucking sick how nasty their lineup is going to be minus Salty at catcher and JD Drew in right. Sure they are heavy left handed but who is going to beat them? Old man Yankees? Nah. The depleted Tampa Bay Rays who lose all their stars to free agency? Nah. The Toronto Blue Jays? Get the fuck out of here. The Baltimore Orioles? Sure they have added Mark Reynolds and JJ Hardy but they can't hang with Boston.

This is how baseball works. The teams with the most revenue get the best players. There is no salary cap because Bud Selig is too busy lining his pockets with TV revenue. The Yankees will surely sign Cliff Lee now. They have to now that the Red Sox got a heavy hitting lefty lineup.

I don't blame the Red Sox for dishing out all the cash to sign Crawford. Shit I would. Crawford is a bona fide superstar in my book. Great player. Great teammate. Hustles. Boston will love him. It's just kind of sickening when you know teams like the Red Sox and the Yankees have built in advantages that other teams don't.

Congratulations go out to your 2011 American League East Champion Boston Red Sox.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

30 YEARS AGO: JOHN LENNON ANNOUNCED DEAD BY HOWARD COSELL



I was only 1 at the time so I have no recollection of this Monday Night Football game but it still sends chills down my spine when you hear announcer Howard Cosell say "an unspeakable tragedy...John Lennon...shot twice in the back...dead on arrival!" I don't even know how I would react. There are those times you remember exactly where you were when you heard so and so died. The one I can remember most vividly besides a relative was Chris Farley. I had just gotten home from college after driving the 11 hours down 1-85 from Baltimore. My mom told me as soon as I walked in the door. I was devastated and I didn't even know the guy but I thought I did. I couldn't imagine how people felt when trying to enjoy a Monday Night football game to learn the great John Lennon was shot down so cowardly by obsessed fan Mark David Chapman 30 years ago to this day. Fuck Chapman. Tonight you should "Give Peace A Chance" and hug and thank your family and friends. Life is too short. Sorry to get all sentimental. It's just hard to "Imagine" something like this happening today.

URBAN MEYER QUITS


It seems like we have been down this road before. Urban Meyer again cited health and family as the reason why he will quit (sounds better than "steps down" since he isn't taking a demotion) as the head football coach of the University of Florida effective immediately after the Outback Bowl on January 1st. This according to GatorZone....

“I have been a Division I football coach for the last 25 years and, during that time, my primary focus has been helping my teams win titles,” Meyer said. “I have thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it, and I am a fierce competitor to my core. At this time in my life, however, I appreciate the sacrifices my 24/7 profession has demanded of me, and I know it is time to put my focus on my family and life away from the field. The decision to step down was a difficult one.

“But after spending more than two decades motivating and celebrating the young men I’ve been so proud to coach, I relish the opportunity to cheer for my three terrific kids as they compete in their own respective sports. I know how fortunate I am to be in a position to make this choice and to have a family that is as loving and supportive as my amazing wife and children have always been.”


Of course we heard this last year when Meyer pulled his first Brett Favre and told the media he was going to "step down" and focus on his health and family. A few days later, actually hours later, he changed his mind and decided to come back to Gainesville. Without Tim Tebow and aided by the ineptitude of offensive coordinator Steve Addazio's play calling the Gators struggled to a 7-5 record this season. They got their asses handed to them by numerous teams including FSU and Alabama.

So now the question is who will replace the great Urban Meyer? Here are my three choices. You decide for yourself.

A) Dan Mullen
B) Dan Mullen
or
C) Dan Mullen

It will happen. Expect by the end of the week for current Mississippi State coach Dan Mullen to be named the successor to Meyer. He knows the landscape of the Swamp having coached there recently under Meyer and is familiar with UF Athletic Director Jeremy Foley. Losing Meyer hurts the Gators of course but Mullen is the best replacement possible. He should continue to bring in top recruits and win in Gainesville.

So in other words don't get your hopes up Georgia fans. Meyer may be gone but the Gators could be better coached next season with the same players back who beat you this past season.

Fuck.

THE DANNY WOODHEAD THANK YOU SONG



If you watched Hard Knocks this year you should be familiar with Division III runningback/white midget Danny Woodhead. Woodhead was a coaches favorite of Rex Ryan and his staff while in camp with the New York Jets. Unfortunately for the Jets they had roster cuts and with Tomlinson and Shonn Greene getting the majority of the snaps in the backfield there wasn't enough room to keep Woodhead. So he was cut. And the mastermind that is New England's Bill Belichick picked his ass up quickly. He already had one short white guy in Wes Welker crushing it up in Foxsboro so he figured why not give another little poor Caucasian a chance. After New England beat the shit out of the Jets on Monday night 45-3 it is clear as day: little white athletic guys win games. It's time to stop the stereotypes NFL. White guys are athletes too.

Monday, December 06, 2010

TRACY WOLFSON GUZZLES DOWN CAM NEWTON'S JUICE



Little sweet for her liking eh? Apparently CBS Sideline Reporter Tracy Wolfson had been waiting all day to guzzle some of Cam Newton's Cammy-Cam Juice with tremendous anticipation. Anytime you can get a chick to taste your juice on national television means you are a straight up pimp. P. I. M. P.

Oh and I apologize for the awful SEC Championship prediction. Auburn crushed the Cocks and will do the same in 35 days against the Ducks. The line started off yesterday at -2 in Oregon's favor but quickly changed to -3 for Auburn. I've already jumped all over the line. I just put my mortgage on it. I'm ready to guzzle the Cammy Cam juice.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS


OREGON (-17) AT OREGON STATE
I know it's the Civil War game and all but I don't see the Beavers hanging with the Ducks. In fact I think it's a blowout. Lamichael James goes for over 150 and the game is over by halftime.
Prediction: Scoregon 35 Beavers 14

AUBURN AT SOUTH CAROLINA (+5)
This is going to be a battle. A knockout drag out battle. It will come down to whoever has the ball last. Marcus Lattimore will come up huge for the Cocks and keep them in the game. In fact I think they will be leading late. But in the end Cam Newton will be too much and Auburn survives. Barely.
Prediction: Auburn 28 South Carolina 25

FLORIDA STATE (+4.5) AT VIRGINIA TECH
Just going on gut feeling here. I think we see the best performance from the Seminoles all season.
Prediction: FSU 24 Virginia Tech 17

NEBRASKA AT OKLAHOMA (-4)
Sooners in a blowout. No, not really but I think they got the better team right now. Landry Jones is going to throw for a ton of yards and minimum 3 TDs.
Prediction: Oklahoma 35 Nebraska 23

Friday, December 03, 2010

JOSH GROBAN SLAMS RICH RODRIGUEZ VIA TWITTER


Via Josh Groban's Twitter Feed comes this statement...

joshgroban: Coach Rodriguez, I'm very flattered but crying to You Raise Me Up is SO five years ago. #playwelcometothejungle
Posted 2 hours 3 min ago via Twitter


Damn it must suck balls to get dissed by Josh Groban of all people. If I was a Michigan fan and thank the Lord I'm not I would just go ahead and pull the trigger now. Go ahead and wrap that rope around your neck. You might as well take all those happy pills because your life is going to be a living hell with DickRod wearing Maize and Blue.

CATHOLICS USE TROJANS 20-16 SHIRT



I don't think this shirt needs much explanation. Clearly we agree with the progressive view of the Pope when it comes to Trojans. In fact last Saturday night I watched a group of Catholics completely destroy a bunch of dirty Trojans in the Coliseum. It was glorious. I know what you are thinking so don't even say it. I will say it for you. This is the coolest fucking shirt I have ever seen and it most certainly will get a laugh and will in all likelihood get me laid.

This is why I make SportsCrack shirts. For the laughs and constant sex games.

Order your shirt today!

Catholics Use Trojans 20-16 Shirt

HOST BLOWS TURKEY CALLER



What a natural! It's like she was just born to gobble up the....I'll stop now.

HT: Dave

RICH RODRIGUEZ IS A GAPING VAGINA WHO CRIES TO JOSH GROBAN SONGS



If Michigan needed any further proof that Rich Rodriguez is not a "Michigan man" and was looking for that last bullet to fire the guy besides his god awful 15-21 record since he stepped foot in Ann Arbor then last night he delivered it. He cried. Again. At a football banquet. In front of everybody. And made references to the Bible and Josh Groban as inspiration. Holy shit this guy is a complete dicknugget.

Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez fought back tears, talking about the toll his job has taken on his family, and used passages from the Bible and a Josh Groban song during an emotional address that closed the team's banquet.
"I truly want to be a Michigan man," he said Thursday.


You know who listens to Josh Groban and make references to the Bible? 10 year old girls who have just had their first period. Rodriguez is gradually moving from incompetent head football coach at a major university to becoming a woman. Congrats to Michigan on hiring a guy who hadn't even hit puberty yet.

It's time for Michigan to cut the cord here. The bleeding vagina can no longer be tolerated. But at least he has his Joshy Poo to listen to in this upcoming time of need...



What a fucking whore!

THIS SHIT CAN'T BE REAL: CAMERA IMPLANTED IN BACK OF THE HEAD



What the fuck? I thought professors just banged the shit out of their 20 year old co-eds but little did I know they were actually getting cameras put in their fucking head. My bad. I thought everything was kind of normal in this world besides politics and religion. Fuck I was wrong.

Thursday, December 02, 2010

LEBRON JAMES PREGAME IN CLEVELAND

Since I completely missed the "Lebron's return to a franchise he carried for 7 seasons on his back" game including the all important pregame introduction I figured I would give you the chance to see the "electricity" of Cleveland. I honestly had no idea people cared this much about the NBA before tonight. This is in fucking Cleveland. Holy shit! Imagine if Dunkin Donuts left in the middle of the night like the Mayflower trucks in Baltimore. There would be looting, rioting, and pillaging in the streets right now. Drew Carey would shit in his pants.



I'm kind of disappointed. It's not like I was openly rooting for a Monica Seles moment but I wouldn't have minded one deranged fan getting tasered at center court. Give me something Cleveland. I guess they only do that kind of shit in Philadelphia. Oh well. This will probably be my one and only Cleveland post in the next 10 years. Thank god.

CAM NEWTON SONG 6'6 250



"Will Smith is getting edgy with age!" - quotes white balding male

UGA Making Changes After All


Though this isn't official, I've heard UGA is making a few changes to their program. From what I can gather, Joe Tereshinski will be taking over as the Director of the Strength and Conditioning Program and John Kasay Sr. will be hired as an assistant to Joe T. Thanks Seth for the rocking Bulldogs Blog and the insight into the program. Check out The Bulldogs Blog here for a more in depth look at the changes supposedly being implemented starting January 1, 2011.

NOTRE DAME SECURES THE PERFECT SPREAD QB IN EVERETT GOLSON


Notre Dame just landed their quarterback of the future with the commitment of Everett Golson who will also be an early enrollee next month. The last time Notre Dame landed an athletic dual threat quarterback from South Carolina was some guy named Tony Rice. You may have heard of him.

WPDE Sports has learned that Myrtle Beach quarterback Everett Golson has de-committed from the University of North Carolina and will play college football at Notre Dame. Notre Dame had a home visit with Golson on Wednesday and that was when the decision was made.

Golson was an early commitment to North Carolina during his junior year, but with NCAA sanctions looming, the Seahawks quarterback reopened his recruiting. He made an official visit to Notre Dame when the Fighting Irish upset Utah in November.

Golson was invited to the Nike Elite 11 Quarterback camp and is a finalist for South Carolina's Mister Football. He has 22 TD passes and just one INT in six games of action in his senior campaign. Golson suffered a leg and wrist injury in week two, but has returned to the Seahawks in the playoffs and has guided Myrtle Beach to the 3A state championship game for the third straight year.


Golson was a four year starter at Myrtle Beach. He stands a little over 6 feet (think more Drew Brees/Charlie Ward like) and is extremely quick and accurate with his throws. Plus he can run. Brian Kelly got the perfect QB for his system! My condolences go out to Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, Michigan, Ohio State, Stanford and North Carolina for losing out to Kelly on this kid.

NEED PROOF USC IS FULL OF SHITBIRDS? WELL THEN CHECK OUT TEAGUE EGAN



Hey brah, how fucking "crucial" is it to have cranberry juice as a chaser for Grey Goose? Jesus H. Christ, is this dickhead on his fucking period or does he just have a giant vagina written all over his face? And what is up with the fucking projection screen? You got a golf cart but you can't dish out some "1st Round Records" money on a plasma. What an asshole! The only thing cool this kid has in his "pad" is his kegerator. If you are in college it is essential to have one. And Valtrex.

This Teague Egan lad is the same kid who got USC RB Dillon Baxter in trouble for riding him around on his golf cart while handing out roofies, I mean brochures for his business. I'm actually kind of shocked Teague didn't have time to show us his rape room. Teague is the type of character Dexter enjoys giving a midnight ride on his Slice of Life charter. It's good to see the culture has changed so much at USC since they have been put on sanctions. You already have Athletic Director and President of the Ultimate Combover Club Pat Haden bitching about how Auburn got off in the Cam Newton fiasco and how it's not fair. It's hysterical since he has Lane Kiffin roaming the sidelines like a recently released pedophile in a windowless cargo van.

God damn USC makes me sick. I'm just glad Notre Dame whooped their ass and nobody on their campus actually gives a shit about the football program anymore. Even Will Ferrell is embarrassed to call himself a Trojan now. I'm pretty sure I saw him wearing one of those Scoregon shirts the other day.

Campus cribs video via The Big Lead

LEBRON JAMES RETURN TO CLEVELAND: THE ODDS


If you haven't heard Lebron Benedict Arnold James returns to Cleveland tonight with his barely .500 Miami Heat squad. It's the first time since Albert Belle returned with the White Sox that a player who was once revered by the home team is now clearly public enemy #1 in Cleveland. It should be interesting. Not really. It's regular season NBA action. It's about as relevant as Derek Jeter's Gold Gloves. Anyways here are some odds on his return in case you are interested in losing some money since investing in good old fashion hooker spit has been paying off for you lately.

These odds come via BoDog.com:

LeBron James Total Points vs. Cleveland: Over/Under 26.5
Will LeBron James have a physical altercation with a fan? Yes 30/1
Will LeBron James do his pregame chalk ritual: Yes 1/50
Matt Fairchild will actually watch any part of the game other than the pregame introductions: 1 billion/1


Wednesday, December 01, 2010

CAM NEWTON OFFICIALLY DECLARED ELIGIBLE


Image courtesy of AJC.com

According to NCAA.org Cam Newton has been cleared of all charges of impropriety by the NCAA and is free and clear to play. In other words you can stamp Cam Newton on the Heisman Trophy and give Auburn the National Championship in about...oh...5 weeks from now.

Here is the official release...

Auburn University football student-athlete Cam Newton is immediately eligible to compete, according to a decision today by the NCAA student-athlete reinstatement staff. The NCAA concluded on Monday that a violation of amateurism rules occurred, therefore Auburn University declared the student-athlete ineligible yesterday for violations of NCAA amateurism rules.

When a school discovers an NCAA rules violation has occurred, it must declare the student-athlete ineligible and may request the student-athlete’s eligibility be reinstated. Reinstatement decisions are made by the NCAA national office staff and can include conditions such as withholding from competition and repayment of extra benefits. Newton was reinstated without any conditions.

According to facts of the case agreed upon by Auburn University and the NCAA enforcement staff, the student-athlete’s father and an owner of a scouting service worked together to actively market the student-athlete as a part of a pay-for-play scenario in return for Newton’s commitment to attend college and play football. NCAA rules (Bylaw 12.3.3) do not allow individuals or entities to represent a prospective student-athlete for compensation to a school for an athletic scholarship.

In conjunction with the case, Auburn University has limited the access Newton’s father has to the athletics program and Mississippi State has disassociated the involved individual.

“The conduct of Cam Newton’s father and the involved individual is unacceptable and has no place in the SEC or in intercollegiate athletics,” said Mike Slive, Southeastern Conference Commissioner. “The actions taken by Auburn University and Mississippi State University make it clear this behavior will not be tolerated in the SEC.”

“Our members have established rules for a fair and equal recruitment of student-athletes, as well as to promote integrity in the recruiting process,” said Kevin Lennon, NCAA vice president for academic and membership affairs. “In determining how a violation impacts a student-athlete’s eligibility, we must consider the young person’s responsibility. Based on the information available to the reinstatement staff at this time, we do not have sufficient evidence that Cam Newton or anyone from Auburn was aware of this activity, which led to his reinstatement. From a student-athlete reinstatement perspective, Auburn University met its obligation under NCAA bylaw 14.11.1. Under this threshold, the student-athlete has not participated while ineligible.”

“We are pleased that the NCAA has agreed with our position that Cam Newton has been and continues to be eligible to play football at Auburn University,” Auburn University Director of Athletics Jay Jacobs said. “We appreciate the diligence and professionalism of the NCAA and its handling of this matter. “

During the reinstatement process, NCAA staff review each case on its own merits based on the specific facts. Staff decisions are made based on a number of factors including guidelines established by the Division I NCAA Committee on Student-Athlete Reinstatement, as well as any mitigating factors presented by the university.

Reinstatement decisions are independent of the NCAA enforcement process and typically are made once the facts of the student-athlete’s involvement are determined. The reinstatement process is likely to conclude prior to the close of an investigation. It is NCAA policy not to comment on current, pending or potential investigations.


There you go. Case closed. Nothing to see here. Moving on.

JUST CURIOUS, WHERE IS THE NATIONAL OUTRAGE OVER THE RANDY SHANNON FIRING?


From the AP...

His voice nearly cracking, Miami athletic director Kirby Hocutt somberly laid out some of the many reasons why Randy Shannon was right for the Hurricanes.
The academic success. Improved recruiting classes. His decades as part of the Miami family.
Then there were 22 reasons that Hocutt couldn't ignore — the games Miami lost under Shannon. In the end, those carried more weight than anything else.


I'm just going to go ahead and point out how ridiculous the media can be when it comes to issues such as racism. About 6 years ago Notre Dame got hammered by the media for firing head coach Tyrone Willingham after only 3 seasons. His record was about the same as Randy Shannon's in Miami and he graduated players too. But Notre Dame was blasted by media personalities such as John Saunders, Mike Wilbon, Mark May, and Jason Whitlock for firing a minority coach before his contract was up. The University of
Miami just did the same thing to Shannon. He took them to 3 bowl games in 4 seasons.

But you won't hear a peep about it because it doesn't involve Notre Dame.

Why is that you ask? Because those 4 media assholes I mentioned earlier now realize they were wrong about the Willingham firing. It had nothing to do with Willingham's skin pigmentation. It had everything to do with the L's on his resume. And the constant golf outings. And now they realize the Shannon firing had nothing to do with him being a minority coach or being able to run a clean program or graduate his kids. In the end all that matters is the wins and losses on your resume.

Unless you lock the son of an ESPN personality in a storage locker. All bets are off then.

BRUCE PEARL CALLS LANE KIFFIN A DUMBASS


From the mouth of Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl to a crowd of people gathered at a Knoxville Quarterback Club:

"I've made mistakes, I clearly did, but what I was hoping for was that some other dumbass would get on the front page and take me off the hook,'' Pearl said. "I miss Lane Kiffin.''


Talk about delivering an all-time zinger. I mean wow. I didn't realize someone as sleazy as Pearl could be so damn funny. Outstanding.