SportsCrack Blog

Monday, February 25, 2008

MANNY RAMIREZ HAS 6 TOES


Do they test athletes for extra toes? I ask because clearly this is an advantage for Boston Red Sox outfielder Manny Ramirez when it comes to hitting. Next thing we are going to find out is Derek Jeter has a vagina for an anus. Seriously, Jeter is always puckering his ass out in the batter's box and it isn't to hit the low outside hard one if you know what I mean.

Picture HT: The always hilarious Boston sportsbar talk of BarstoolSports

ATLANTA BRAVES WEAR KANGAROO TESTICLES FOR GOOD LUCK


According to Dave O'Brien of the AJC, Atlanta Braves reliever Phil Stockman whom is a native Aussie has a good luck charm hidden in his pants...yes...kangaroo testicles. Australian people are so fucking weird! First they face plant streaking on horse tracks for their bachelor parties and now they use Roo Balls as good luck charms. According to Aussies kangaroo testicles bring good luck. Apparently Stockman has given a set of testicles to teammates Tim Hudson and Mike Hampton:

So Braves reliever Phil Stockman, a good bloke if I’ve ever met one, gave starting pitchers Tim Hudson and Mike Hampton each a pair of kangaroo testicles on a key chain. And told them to rub them before each start.

Hudson’s “charm” was hanging in his locker last I checked.


I'm not sure how I would react if somebody gave me a pair of testicles and told me I needed them for good luck. I would probably tell them my set of hairbags has worked just fine for years of internet porn, thank you very much.

NOW THAT IS A BACHELOR PARTY


As some of you may know I'm getting married in a couple of months(holy shit, I'm getting married!!) and my bachelor party will be in Las Vegas. Hopefully it turns out half as entertaining as this guy's drunk fest.

I think I will pass on the grass burns on the weiner...ouch!

I can't believe he was charged with "offensive conduct." Are you shitting me? What he did should be considered noble and dignified for a society needing a laugh here or there.

Video HT: WithLeather via SportingBlog

JIMMY KIMMEL: I'M FUKIN BEN AFFLECK

Now that ex-girlfriend Sarah Silverman is fukin Matt Damon it was up to Jimmy Kimmel to one up her in the jealous sexual revenge game. And boy did he ever...

This video is wrong in so many ways but totally hilarious. Nice touch on Brad Pitt as the FedEx guy and Harrison Ford as..well...being Harrison Ford.

UCLA'S RUSSELL WESTBROOK WITH THE FACIAL


I've been watching a lot of college basketball lately and I think UCLA is the team other than Tennessee that is impressing me the most right now. Oh wait, Louisville is coming on really strong too and I have a good feeling all three of those teams will at least make the Elite Eight come tourney time. But you have to love UCLA's athleticism especially with a guard like Westbrook who can penetrate the lanes and give facials-obvious porn reference.

Video HT: AwfulAnnouncing