Sunday, November 30, 2008

HEISMAN MOMENT?


Sam Bradford played one hell of a game last night in leading Oklahoma to a 61-41 victory over rival Oklahoma State. With this flip/somersault effort to get into the end zone I wonder if he just had the clinching Heisman Trophy moment especially if Oklahoma gets into the Big 12 Title game?

Friday, November 28, 2008

HOCKEY FIGHT OF THE YEAR?


Derek Dorsett of the Columbus Blue Jackets went fist to fist with Daniel Carcillo of the Phoenix Coyotes two nights ago in what might have been one of the best fights in the NHL in a long time. Carcillo starts off with a flurry of jabs that would stagger most fighters but then Dorsett comes back unfazed to land some damaging jabs himself. Back and forth the fighting and punching goes with back of the head shots a norm and I love the fact that the stripes didn't get in the way and let the two players duke it out till they collapsed down on the ice. I bet some of these fights were the norm this morning at 5 am across America with mothers and fathers grappling for the last Rock Band video game.

Video HT: AOL Fanhaus

Thursday, November 27, 2008

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!


I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving Day to all the loyal Sportscrack heads out there and hope everybody has a great holiday with their family and friends. As a sports fan I don't have a lot to be thankful since all of my favorite teams have struggled mightily the past decade but I am thankful to all the people who come to this blog and read about my daily shenanigans and who decide to support my fix by buying a shirt here and there. Eat a lot of turkey and ham, drink the drink, and stuff yourself till you have to loosen up your belt. And be safe out there.

And to anyone who still thinks the BCS works and doesn't want a playoff because it would ruin the regular season and the bowls, well, I hope you have a great last Thanksgiving you communist turkey.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

KOBE IMPOSES HIS WILL ON FRESH MEAT



Just like that girl in Colorado, poor rookie Brook Lopez had no idea what was coming especially when Kobe is intent on sticking it in as fast and furious as possible.

Video HT: FanIQ

RANDOM JOKE

A woman goes to her boyfriends’ parent’s house for dinner.

This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making tears come to her eyes and lets out a dainty fart.

It wasn’t loud but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman’s feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy".

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn’t even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!’

Once again the woman smiled and thought, "Yes".
A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn’t ever think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!"


Joke HT: John Fox

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

FUSC SHIRTS JUST $8


The always classic FUSC t-shirt is on sale for only $8 for the next 24 hours and if you order it soon you should get it within gametime. The shirt is available to order here

Also all the Crank Me Up! shirts are on sale for only $5.

As an added bonus to buy as many Sportscrack Tees and Merchandise as you can I will give away an autographed Brady Quinn Notre Dame mini helmet(a $120 value) FOR FREE to the first TWO PEOPLE who purchases over $250 worth of Sportscrack or Drink Like a Champion Today stuff and I will refund all shipping costs that you pay.

MICHIGAN AT 3-9 IS THIS GOOD

I feel terrible not mentioning the incredible failure that is Michigan Wolverines football right now. I have been so caught up in Notre Dame's own lack of heart and desire to compete that I forgot to mention the 42-7 shellacking the Wolverines took from their big brother in Ohio State this past Saturday in Columbus. It was an embarrassing game for DickRod and the Wolverines faithful. It was great to see and now the Buckeyes have taken 5 straight in the series with only more beatdowns to come. Watching it all slowly happen was good, real good, but I'm so sure if it was this good...

SOME NEW THINGS IN THE SPORTSCRACK STORE

I got some new things I think you people, and by you people I mean all the degenerates that actually read this blog including myself, would like to buy for either yourself or others since the holidays are quickly approaching.

I got some cool dynasty college felt banners that are officially licensed by the NCAA and would look great in your home, office, etc. Right now we have Alabama, Auburn, Duke, Florida, FSU, Georgia, Georgia Tech, Indiana, and Notre Dame. If you don't see your school let me know and I can more than likely get you one. They retail for $85 but I am selling them for only $55.

If you are a Notre Dame fan we have a lot of new autograph stuff including Brady Quinn and Joe Montana stuff on the Collectibles page. One of our best deals is the Brady Quinn Notre Dame autographed jersey. These jerseys sell for as much as $380 but I got a few of them for the low price of $179. I also got some old school Joe Montana autographed 8X10 high resolution photos for only $68. You can check them out here and here. If you are looking for Brady Quinn Cleveland Browns stuff then let me know because I can get you jerseys, helmets, balls, etc. signed by him for way under retail prices you would pay at say a Steiner Sports or other places. And of course all of these items come with certificates of authenticity to insure they are the real thing.

Oh yeah, I also got some Adrian Peterson autographed full size helmets in stock for all the Purple Jesus and Oklahoma fans out there. I have the Oklahoma Sooners helmet and his current Minnesota Vikings helmet. Both of these helmets are way under retail prices and are sure to go fast. Both come with the official Adrian Peterson hologram on them and a certificate of authenticity.

So be sure to check out the Store page if you are looking for some great holiday gifts. And as always a portion of all the sales goes to the American Cancer Society.

Monday, November 24, 2008

MY WEEKEND IN A NUTSHELL


My weekend actually started off this past Thursday with a trip down to Georgia Tech for the Miami game. I didn't have any tickets but if you have ever been to game at Bobby Dodd you should know it's as easy as getting a STD in Atlanta as it is getting tickets. Tailgating with a couple of buddies and enjoying some cold Bud Lights I really had no idea what to expect for the game. The Hurricanes seemed to be playing well of late and the Yellow Jackets can run the ball like there is no tomorrow but would they be able to against a pretty athletic Canes defense?

Sure as shit they did to the tune of 472 yards and completely shutting up the stupid Miami fans real quick. We of course were shocked they didn't all have flat screen televisions in their hands and gold chains around their necks with their hats tugged to the side.

Of course I got into the game for only $10. I have come to the conclusion that I will never buy a sporting event ticket for face value ever again. In this current economy you can buy tickets off scalpers for next to nothing. The Tech crowd was loud and into the game from the very beginning and it is an awesome sight to see a college team actually be able to rush the ball effectively(still waiting for ND) and pressure the QB(still waiting for ND to do this too). The beer was plentiful and the crowd was again filled with Nerds who loved their Johnson. The only thing that sucks about college games is they don't sell beer at the stadium. It's too bad because they are literally missing out on millions of revenue dollars that could go to the school. But yeah, beer makes you stupid and we shouldn't condone it.

On Friday night I decided to catch my first Atlanta Hawks game this season with the wife. It was as cold as Charlie Weis' smile outside but inside Philips Arena it was as dark as his belly button if you catch my drift. I'm just kidding, there were some Albinos other than me and my wife. Philips was empty for the most part but we got in the lower deck, about 20 rows up from the court for only $15 a ticket. Again, never pay face value for tickets to sporting events. We of course snuck into those seats by simply walking up to them and sitting down. No one questioned our motives and the crowd, although lacking in numbers, was loud and boisterous and the Hawks held on to beat the Charlotte Hornets/Bobcats. The Hawks have a legitimate shot of winning the Eastern Conference this year too. They almost beat the Celtics last year in the playoffs and their team is much better this season as their starting five can play with anybody in my opinion and their bench is whole lot better.

On Saturday I don't remember much except for Notre Dame shitting the bed again against a terrible Syracuse team and blacking out from rage and depression. How in the hell Notre Dame blew a double digit lead again in the second half is beyond me? The team has no emotion and even Golden Tate and Sam Young stated it after the game. If only ND had 22 Golden Tates out there who actually bust their ass and try to win at all costs. This team is "fucking pathetic" and "soft" and "doesn't deserve the right to wear the interlocking ND on their chests" were just some of the thoughts coming out of my head as I watched them self destruct again on Senior Day no less.

Sunday was much more enjoyable as I got to go to my first Falcon's game at the Georgia Dome. I was completely wrong about Matt Ryan. The kid is an absolute stud and already knows how to pick apart a good defense as the Falcons crushed the Carolina Panthers 45-28. The tickets were free because my buddy Jonathan got them for us and we did some good tailgating with some other friends including one of my best buds in Chuck who just recently got engaged. Yes, another one bites the dust. One of the best part of a friend's engagement is the eventual bachelor party in Vegas. I literally can't wait for that although it's only a couple of months till I'm in Vegas with the wife and some friends during the NFL playoffs.

So there you go. If a year ago you would have told me Notre Dame would be 6-5 with their cupcake schedule and Matt Ryan would have the Falcons at 7-4 and being the overwhelming favorite to win the Rookie of the Year I would have called you insane. If you want the home team or Notre Dame to win just invite me to a game. The Irish have had 15 years of shit yet they haven't lost a game I have personally attended since 1990. I went to the Michigan and Navy games this year and cancelled out on the North Carolina game at last notice because of money issues and you see what happened there.

So in other words if there are any Georgia fans who want to win this weekend against the Yellur Jackets then give me a ticket and I will make the trip up to Athens. I will bring booze and a Bulldogs win. You win either way. You can reach me by email at iamsofuckingmoney@sportscrack.com.

PATRICK ROY'S OTHER SON IS A PRICK TOO

You may have remembered a while back Patrick Roy's Jonathan son who just happened to be a goalie like his dad got into a fight with the other goalie and severely beat the hell out of him even though the other goalie had no intentions of fighting. He eventually was charged with assault from the beating during the Junior Hockey League game. Well, apparently Roy's other son Frederick is a Grade A asshole too. Here he is giving a classic stick to the face to his opponent during a fight. Those Roy's are classy fellas...


Video HT: FanIQ via Going Five Hole

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I'M DONE WITH WEIS. GET URBAN!


Any rational person can not make any more excuses for Charlie Weis. You just lost to fucking Syracuse. A 2-8 team with a lame duck coach on your home field on Senior Day. The writing is on the wall Charlie. Put in your resignation.

And for the love of God put a contract offer to Urban Meyer. One in which he can not refuse. Enough of the bull shit Notre Dame. Get a proven college coach who can win. It's in your court. Stop fucking around with this loyal fan base who has put up with 15 years of incompetence. The talent is there. The coaching and preparation and inspiration isn't.

I WANT URBAN MEYER. God save us all.

Friday, November 21, 2008

WEEKEND PICKS


Air Force at TCU-TCU has the best run defense in the nation and should be able to protect their home turf against Air Force. I'm going Horned Frogs big time.

Boston College at Wake Forest-Wake is fake and BC has looked like world beaters the past two weeks. I hate to go with Backup College but right now they are playing great especially their defense. Road team wins.

Brigham Young at Utah
-The second best game of the week in my book unfortunately nobody will see it outside of the state of Mormons. Utah is on a mission to reach the BCS for the first time since Urban Meyer left and a win here would almost seal the deal. Utah wins a close one.

Florida State at Maryland-Just when I start giving FSU credit they start to look like shit again. Maryland is the better team and a win here gets them closer to an ACC title. Maybe, just maybe the reason why FSU looks like garbage so much lately is because they aren't inspired enough. After watching Papa Bowden speak before the game against BC I almost passed out from boredom...



Michigan State at Penn State
-I hate both of these teams so I really don't care who wins. But if I was a betting man this week I would go with the Stormtroopers of Happy Valley.

Ole Miss at LSU
-What in the hell is going on with LSU this year? They should have lost to Troy last week and they have gotten smoked by Georgia, Alabama, and Florida this year. Ole Miss pulls the upset.

Oregon State at Arizona-The Beavers need to win to keep hope alive for a Rose Bowl berth and a Pac 10 Title. Arizona will be tough but the Beavers will squeeze by.

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati
-The Stache has had Pittsburgh playing surprisingly well this year. Brian Kelly has Cincy a couple of wins away from a BCS bowl game. I'm going with the home team in Cincy.

Texas Tech at Oklahoma
-I want Texas Tech to win this game badly. I'm so tired of seeing just the big teams in the BCS Championship and I think the Red Raiders would be a great underdog story for the game. But they have to win in Norman. Not many people are giving them a chance but I think Graham Harrell seals up the Heisman and gets the Red Raiders the huge victory at Oklahoma.

Be good this weekend people. Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I have been real busy with being lazy and picking things out of different body parts. Plus I am still recovering from a wild game last night at Georgia Tech in which the Yellow Jackets ran all over Miami to the tune of 472 yards.

Oh yeah, Notre Dame wins both on the field this weekend against Syracuse and off the field in recruiting. They will secure the commitments of 5 star linebacker Manti Te'O along with current USC commit and 4 star safety Byron Moore. My sources have mentioned both to me as sure bets so if they are wrong I will find them and kill them if I ever manage to get off the couch.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I'M A "HUGE" DENVER NUGGETS AND COORS LIGHT FAN


Yes, the most refreshing jugs of sweet...good lord! I am now officially the Denver Nuggets #1 fan.

HT: Deadspin

SPORTS HEADLINE OF THE WEEK


HT: FANIQ

MY PORN TRUE STORY

You know how in high school and college you would discuss what your porn name would be with your buddies in between chugging Natty Light and farting out bong smoke? My name would have been Gregory Hembree. See you take your middle name as your first and the street you grew up on as your last. Not a great porn name at all. Actually it blows. My buddy had the best one...Dick Whitehall. Now that is a legendary porn name if I have ever heard one. Anyways, while in film school I often wondered how I would do in porn if I really got into it. I wouldn't want to be a stunt cock for obvious reasons and I always envisioned myself as bring a little comedy to the genre. If there was a E! True Hollywood story about my porn career it would go exactly like this...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

DUSTIN PEDROIA WINS AL MVP


I hate to see any Red Sox player win an award especially a prestigious award like the MVP but it's good to see the world is changing and they are now letting leprechauns win something. Okay, maybe that is a little harsh. He is a balding midget. So am I. Don't you laugh fuckers!

Pedroia will destroyia is listed at 5'9 and 180(which just happens to be my exact measurements) but honestly the guy can't be over 5'7. It doesn't matter because the guy mashed all season and somehow won a Gold Glove(didn't deserve it, BRob should have won it, has way more range and better arm), a Silver Slugger, and a MVP becoming just the second guy not named Ryan Sandberg to accomplish all three feats in one season.

So here is a HT to Pedroia from a die hard Orioles fan on winning something worth noting. And to all the Red Sox fans, here is to your bandwagon...


Sincerely with all my love,
Matt Fairchild

BEARS QB WRECKS GROSSMAN FOUND A NEW JOB

Unfortunately it looks like he is as inept on the ice as he is when he breaks the huddle...

Bears playing hockey...fucking awesome!

And if you are not sure which one is Sexy Wrecks just look for the shitty one who has no right to be on the ice.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

DICK ROD LOSING CONTROL AT MICHIGAN


As if a 3-8 season wasn't rough enough heading into their annual rivalry game against Ohio State, we have now found out that Michigan is losing 3 players due to transfer including the white pinball named star RB Sam McGuffie. If you thought Rich Rodriguez was a good fit in Ann Arbor well then I hope you are not a betting man.

Michigan's first losing season since 1967 is hard for any die hard Wolverines fan to swallow. Their consecutive bowl streak dies at 33. They have already set the dubious record for most losses in a season for their program with 8 and surely a 9th loss awaits against the Buckeyes. And to top it all off Rodriguez had this to say in regards to the fans who are spouting off on the internet message boards about his lack of success to put it mildly...

"It's amazing some of the things that people would say [on a message board] or yell at you of a personal nature," Rodriguez said Monday. "You almost want to tell them, 'Get a life.'

"There's a whole lot bigger problems. Look at the economy.".


Never good to alienate the fan base especially when you are an outsider like Rodriguez is. Rodriguez is a West Virginia guy. He is laid back and his success with the spread offense for the Mountaineers at his alma mater was perfect and he was in the process of building a legacy in Morgantown. The fans loved him. His family loved it there. He could make annual trips to BCS bowl games in the weak Big East conference with his offense. But as soon as he stabbed West Virginia in the back and reneged on his contract which he signed shortly before to leave for Michigan you knew this was all going to end really badly.

West Virginia isn't the same without Rodriguez and Michigan isn't good with him. It's like watching a fat guy try to go to the salad bar. You know he doesn't belong there and he knows it but he will still try to make it work. Rodriguez's donut was being the West Virginia head coach and now he is trying to eat rice cakes at Michigan.

As a genuine fan of which ever team plays against Michigan on Saturday I personally love to see this failed honeymoon. I hope he stays and tries to eat more rice cakes and fruit salads in Ann Arbor. Watching Michigan fail will never get old for me but I must admit part of me wants Michigan to be good again. I want to see them compete with the Ohio State's and Notre Dame's of the world again. It makes the games more interesting. Midwest football is already boring enough. I don't know what people in Michigan would do if they knew their football program turned into something resembling the green and white of the Spartans. Car plants might start closing down. Detroit might become dangerous. Tourism would cease to exist.

Oh well. "To Hell with Michigan!" will now be seen as their state slogan on their beat up Ford trucks. God bless those poor bastards.

Monday, November 17, 2008

OBAMA WANTS A COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF


YES WE CAN!!!! I'm going to go into this more later as I am in a lengthy discussion/argument over it on UHND.com with some jackass who thinks a playoff is not the right answer for college football.

Listen, you may disagree with Obama because you don't like his politics or you may be prejudice towards half black people or intelligent human beings for that matter but please don't ever argue on this blog that a playoff is not the right thing for college football. You will be put in your place real fast.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

MIAMI VS VIRGINIA TECH PREVIEW

Watching ACC football can sometimes be painful to the eyes. Don't get me wrong, it's not nearly as boring as Big Ten football or as wretched as a Dane Cook comedy special. But the ACC produces a ton of NFL players(mostly from Miami and FSU) and yet always has marginal teams which is code for shitty in SEC minds. So tonight we get the once proud ghetto program of the Miami Convicts going against the Vagina Tech Stokies. I'm not going to sugarcoat this matchup... it could be very ugly football but entertaining if you are into sadomasochism like myself. Sort of like watching midget porn. You can't help but watch it even when every logical part of your brain tells you it's just wrong and not as funny as it looks. So yeah, ACC football is like midget porn.

Instead of going into an in-depth mumbo jumbo preview about these two programs and how they stack up against each other I figured I would let a video demonstrate the magnitude of this game tonight on ESPN...

"YEAH, SEE YA!"

MIKE RIBEIRO'S UNBELIEVABLE SHOOTOUT GOAL


The Dallas Stars' Mike Ribeiro pulled the ultimate deke shot on the King's goaltender Erik Ersberg the other night and I thought it deserved some attention from the Sportscrack nation out there. At first I was with the announcers thinking he just accidently fucked up and somehow pulled the goal out of his ass like Andy Dick landing roles in Hollywood. But then watching the slow motion instant replay you realize Ribeiro meant to go through his legs with the deke. Hell of a play and I'm sure Dick would love to be waiting on hands and knees to congratulate him afterwards like a dog. Speaking of dogs I like how Ribiero is barking back at the Kings bench after scoring.

Video Ht: FanIQ

TOP 10 MAJOR LEAGUE FREE AGENTS

Tomorrow marks the opening of the 2009 MLB free agency market. Or as I like to call it the crazy, overpaid, makes no sense bonanza chock full of bull shit rumors and innuendo fueled by Satan (Scott Boras) and the owners and players who play things close to their chest. But you should know I love this time of the season because the baseball season itself can be long and boring at times and if you tend to root for a perennial loser like myself (don't worry, the Orioles are turning it around) you look forward to who you may or may not get to help improve your team or the other teams in your division. Call it the NFL draft if it was dragged out for 3 months or so. Baseball wouldn't have it any other way.

And despite a struggling economy where hundreds of thousands of everyday normal people who go to baseball games are losing their jobs and their homes don't expect the free spending owners to tighten up their wallets. As commissioner Bud Selig reminds anyone who will listen baseball has never brought in more revenue.

Here is my list of the top 10 major league baseball free agents hitting the open market tomorrow with predictions as to where they may land. Feel free to chime in with your thoughts in the comments section...

1. C.C. Sabathia-Good big league starting pitching is always a premium and Sabathia tops the list for free agent pitchers this offseason. Sabathia used a second half stint in Milwaukee after being traded from Cleveland as his own personal playground by dominating the senior circuit and was the main reason why the Brewers reached the playoffs for the first time since 1982. Sabathia will get a huge deal despite the wear and tear on his arm and his belly so don't be surprised if he passes the money Barry Zito got a couple of off seasons ago. Sabathia is a proven #1 ace and will get at least a 9 figure contract from someone willing to dish out the dough for the doughboy.

PREDICTION: The New York Yankees need starting pitching and with guys like Giambi, Mussina, Pettitte, Pavano and others all coming off the payroll and them missing the playoffs for the first time since the mid 90's it creates a perfect storm for Sabathia to accept a contract upwards of $140 million.

2. Mark Teixeira-A middle of their prime superstar first baseman who hits like a Silver Slugger winner and fields like a Gold Glove winner is going to get a lot of attention. Teixeira is 29 years old and is the perfect cleanup hitter for any major league team. He also is a switch hitter with power from both sides and is a smart hitter who gets on base over 40% of the time while stroking a ton of extra base hits. He made Chipper Jones and Vladimir Guerrero better players in my opinion during his short stints with the Braves and Angels. He is a Severna Park, MD native like myself and grew up an Orioles fan along with his family. The whole state of Maryland wants Teixeira back at his home and playing for the O's while hitting between young phenoms like Nick Markakis, Adam Jones, and Matt Wieters.

PREDICTION: The Baltimore Orioles and Peter Angelos will open up their checkbook and do whatever it takes to bring Tex home. The O's need starting pitching and a shortstop too but bringing in Tex would be a huge boost to ticket sales and draw back interest for the fallen franchise. I think he will get at least a $150 million contract.

3. Manny Ramirez-ManRam was a beast for the Dodgers last season and like Sabathia helped push his team into the playoffs. Ramirez is probably the second best right handed hitter in the game right now behind Pujols and has been a RBI machine where ever he has played. His personality or laziness as I would call it can be very annoying to some but in Southern California it can be tolerated by the fans unlike the East Coast teams. His age is up there(he will be 37 next season) and his fielding is terrible at times but Manny is like a fine wine and I really can't think of another hitter I would want up over him with runners in scoring position.

PREDICTION: The Los Angeles Dodgers will pay a lot to secure Manny's return to LA. He is too valuable for their team and I think he is the perfect fit in that lineup surrounded by all the young guys. The Dodgers will cave and give him 4 years at $100 million thanks to Scott Boras.

4. Francisco Rodriguez-K Rod set a major league record last year with 62 saves for the Angels and should get a ridiculous contract from somebody not named the Angels. It seems that owner Artie Moreno is fine with letting Rodriguez leave because they tried to renogiatiate 3 times last year and still failed to resign him. Closers are a dime a dozen in my book and there is always some young hot shot ready to be one so I don't think giving a closer Mariano Rivera type money is prudent. My guess is some team will be stupid enough to overpay him and he will fizzle away within 3 years. I say this because honestly he wasn't very impressive late last season despite setting the save record.

PREDICTION: He has New York Mets written all over him. Other teams like the Rangers and perhaps the Cubs will enter the picture but I think the Mets will offer him the most money and win out..or lose out depending on how you view this signing.

5. A. J. Burnett-I've seen Burnett pitch many of times for the Blue Jays and the Marlins and have always come away impressed but when you look at his career stats they don't spit out the notion of top of the rotation money he will get this offseason. But as you know even good not great starting pitching is hard to find and Burnett should use a career year in Toronto last season and get a huge contract. His family lives in Maryland and he supposedly wants to be near them which would mean the Nationals, Orioles, and Phillies would be the most logical destinations for his services.

PREDICTION: The Baltimore Orioles need starting pitching in the worst way. Besides Jeremy Guthrie they have a bunch of unproven young starters and one who will never become proven because he is a head case(Daniel Cabrera). Despite the Orioles finishing last in the division they are a few players away from being serious contenders just like the Rays were this past season. They need starting pitching to get there and signing Burnett might not be the wisest decision the franchise can make but they really can't afford to alienate a loyal fanbase that begs for a winner.

6. Derek Lowe-Again good starting pitching is hard to find and Derek Lowe is one of the most consistent starters in the game. He is getting up there in age(36) but he isn't an overpowering pitcher who relies on heat to get hitters out. He never really lived up to the contract the Dodgers gave him coming out of Boston so don't expect him to resign but I could see a team who didn't make the playoffs last season willing to overpay for his services because they think they are one starter away from being a playoff contender.

PREDICTION: A lot of people have him pencilled in for the Yankees starting rotation but I'm not one of them. I think the Detroit Tigers are going to come out and offer him a generous contract and give him a chance to come back closer to home and he will accept the deal as long as it is competitive to what the Yankees and Mets offer him.

7. Ben Sheets-If he didn't have so many damn injuries we might be talking about the best starting pitcher in the game right here. Personally I'm a huge fan of Sheets. His stuff is awesome and when he is healthy he is one of the toughest pitchers in the game. With the right franchise he could win 18 plus games. I might be letting my bias towards him jade my view but I think who ever signs him will be getting a bargain despite the elbow problem.

PREDICTION: The Houston Astros seems like the most logical but don't be surprised if the Atlanta Braves make a run at it even if they land Peavy. His health issues will limit the contract offer to 2-3 years max.

8. Ryan Dempster-Dempster had a career year last season with the Cubs and appears to be ready to hit the open market with a huge check waiting for him. The only problem is he wants to stay in Chicago and the Cubs appear to want him back.

PREDICTION: The Chicago Cubs resign him to a 3-4 year contract worth over $50 million.

9. Orlando Hudson-A gold glove winner at 2b, Hudson has always been an underrated player in my book. I guess because he plays second base and doesn't steal any bases is why people tend to overlook him. He gets the job done at the plate though and gets on base and his career numbers indicate he gets better every season. He is currently in his prime and should get a good offer.

PREDICTION: The St. Louis Cardinals need a second baseman and Hudson would be the perfect fit in their lineup.

10. Adam Dunn-He is a cleanup hitter who has hit at least 40 homeruns a season the last 5 years. He of course strikes out a ton and plays horrible defense in left field but his on base percentage is around 40% every season. I'm not an Adam Dunn fan but I can see why some people and/or clubs like him because of his power and his ability to get on base.

PREDICTION: The Washington Nationals needs a cleanup hitter bad and someone to boo for the next 5 years. Dunn makes sense in the Capitol.

Is there anybody I left off the list that I shouldn't have? Well then let me know by voicing your opinion on the comments section.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

SHE GOT CHILLS WHEN THE COLORED ONE SPOKE

I give you this glorious video of further proof that Lindsay Lohan is a dumb Hollywood slut. Sorry, working actress as they preferred to be called. She proves to the world her ability to sound as dumb as she looks while talking to some attractive girl named Maria Menopausal...


Lindsay is such an inspiration for all the young girls out there who want to do coke, blow guys, then decide they would rather do chicks for a while and talk about how inspired she was when the "colored" one was voted as our President.



Video HT: WWTDD

BALTIMORE REPRESENTING THE ROAD JERSEYS


The Baltimore Orioles today reveiled their new road jerseys with the actual "Baltimore" script on the front. This is significant because they haven't had "Baltimore" on the front of their jerseys since the early 1970's. They dumped "Baltimore" in favor of "Orioles" when the Washington Senators moved so they could represent more of the region of Maryland and Virginia/DC. But now that the Washington Nationals exist(loose term for they suck) we now get to see a star player like Nick Markakis wear the new Baltimore jersey.

I like it and I think I will buy one this weekend when I visit for the Notre Dame/Navy debacle at Raven's Stadium. Hopefully the Orioles will open up their checkbooks this offseason and sign some free agents starting tomorrow. The big catch of course would be lifelong Orioles fan and Severna Park native Mark Teixeria. He would look great in an O's jersey batting between Markakis and future star Matt Wieters. Just throwing that out there for owner Peter Angelos. Get it done in other words.

And if you noticed in the picture above there is no Gold Glove next to Markakis. It's a crying shame because Nick led all outfielders in assists and makes Gold Glove plays consistently in right field but the voters love to give the award to just center fielders typically. These are the same jackoffs who didn't award Cal Ripken a Gold Glove the year he only committed 3 fucking errors the whole season at shortstop, a Major League record. Instead they awarded it to that tool Ozzie Guillen. I still despise Guillen for it.

TALK ABOUT A LATE HIT


This ridiculously late hit on the quarterback comes courtesy of Houston's defensive end Phillip Hunt this past Saturday against Tulane. Obviously the hit was intentional in every way although Hunt claims he never heard the whistle. Hunt can use the O.J. defense all he wants but we all know he hit Tulane's QB Joe Kemp long after everybody stopped playing. Not only was the hit malicious but it broke Kemp's collarbone and he now needs a plate inserted to stabilize the two fractures.

Of course somehow the Conference USA officiating crew didn't eject Hunt for the late hit and all he got was a 15 personal foul penalty. And now Conference USA officials are indicating no further discipline needs to be brought against Hunt for the malicious hit. When did college football turn into gladiators? Hopefully shit like this doesn't start popping up everywhere now when defensive players know they can get away with late hits and claim they didn't hear the whistle blown. The NCAA needs to insert a Phillip Hunt rule which would prevent QB's and other players from getting their head knocked off for late hits.

Video HT: FanIQ

WHERE IS NOTRE DAME HEADED?

Via TiricoSuave.com comes this hilarious, and yes I will admit it despite being a Notre Dame homer myself, video of Charlie Weis addressing where his team is headed...


And just to be clear with myself and the few drunk readers out there who actually pay attention to this blog...I think any blog that pays tribute to Mike Tirico is either a
A)closet pedophile
B)open pedophile or
C)prefers bestiality to actual women.

More than likely all of the above.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFT-BRADY QUINN AUTOGRAPHED NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL



I just got a couple of these autographed Brady Quinn Notre Dame Wilson Balls. These are the authentic official balls that they use on Gamedays under the watchful eye of Touchdown Jesus. I am selling them for the ridiculously low price of $200. Remember, these balls alone retail for as much as $199 without any signatures on it and now you can get it with Brady Quinn's autograph on it. With Brady's signature on it they sell for as much as $388.

You will not find a lower price for an authentic autographed Brady Quinn Wilson AFCA 1001 NCAA college game ball. It comes with a certificate of authenticity from CG Authentics.

These make a great gift for any Notre Dame or Cleveland Browns fan for Christmas.

Hurry quickly though because I only have a couple and they will sell fast.

EBAY AUCTIONS ENDING SOON, SHIRTS AT $1

http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/mojoerizen91f1

Click on the link above to get some great deals on Sportscrack Tees starting at under a $1. We got Crank Me Up shirts, Phucking Phantastic 2008 World Champs shirts, Knowshon for Heismon, Chase for Heismon, FUSC, Brady Lady, Brady for Heismon, and many more all starting at just under a $1.

Hurry though because the sale ends soon.

Again the link is at....
http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/mojoerizen91f1

MY HEISMAN TROPHY CANDIDATES TOP 5


We are only a month away from awarding the 74th Heisman Trophy to the "most outstanding college football player" which is usually loose terms for the best player(offensive) with the most hype on the best team at the end of the season. Colt McCoy looked to be the runaway winner a few weeks ago until they got beaten by Texas Tech in Lubbock behind masterful performances from both Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree. Since then the order has been shaken up and knocked around quicker than a Larry Johnson whore target in a bar. So with that being said here is my top 5 candidates going into this weekend's games and what they need to do in order to secure a trip at the very least to New York City for the Heisman banquet dinner.

1. Graham Harrell-Harrell has thrown for 13 touchdowns and 0 interceptions while completing almost 80% of his passes the last three weeks in wins over Kansas, Texas, and Oklahoma State. He has the Red Raiders on the brink of being #1 in two weeks if they can beat Oklahoma in Norman. Some can argue he is a product of Mike Leach's system in Lubbock and I would agree with it to a point but you can't argue his ability to come up huge in big games and big moments this year. If he beats Oklahoma and keeps putting up his typical numbers then he will win the award in my opinion. He is currently on pace to throw for 43 TD's and only 6 INT's while completing over 71% of his passes.

2. Michael Crabtree-Harrell might be my #1 Heisman contender right now but I think Crabtree is the best player on his team. I don't have a doubt in my mind that Crabs is the best wide receiver in the country as he was last year and he continues to come up big for the Red Raiders. Harrell grabs the spotlight because he is the quarterback but Crabtree will be the better pro by far and might be the best college receiver since Larry Fitzgerald(whom I thought should have won the Heisman over Jason White). Crabtree is on pace to match last year's touchdown record of 22 TD catches but his receiving yardage will be cut by more than 25% because of defenses double teaming him. He deserves a trip to New York City because he is the best wide receiver in the country.

3. Colt McCoy-The Real McCoy's numbers are staggering. He is completing 78% of his passes. He runs(7 rushing TD's)with the best of the college QB's including Tim Tebow. He is one play away(dropped INT by his safety) from being the clear cut #1 guy right now on what would have been the clear cut #1 team. But fate wasn't on his side or the Longhorns when Gideon let the game winner slip between his fingers. The good news for him and Texas are both could be back to #1 if a couple of things happen between now and his eventual trip to NYC. Texas Tech needs to lose to Oklahoma next Saturday and Alabama needs to lose to Florida in the SEC Championship and then Colt McCoy and Texas are back on top of the college football world.

4. Shonn Greene-Greene is the guy who receives the least attention because...well, he plays in Iowa. But after last week's performance against previously undefeated Penn State he deserves some recognition as the best back in the nation. Greene has run for over a 100 yards in each game this season along with scoring a touchdown in every game with the exception of the Michigan State contest (ran for 157). He is not a real flashy back like a Knowshon Moreno but he gets yards on an offense that features him and against a defense that keys into him every single game. This is a big IF but if only Iowa could have won the 4 games they lost(all by 5 points or less) then the Hawkeyes would be undefeated and everybody in the nation would be talking about Greene as the Heisman frontrunner. In order to secure a trip to NYC he needs to finish strong against Purdue and Minnesota along with leading the Hawkeyes to victories.

5. Sam Bradford-Plain and simple for Bradford to secure a trip to NYC for the Heisman ceremony: BEAT TEXAS TECH. Bradford is putting up Jason White type numbers this year and is on pace to throw for 46 TD's with only 7 INT's. But if he doesn't beat Texas Tech in Norman he will go down as only the third best quarterback in the Big 12 South division. If he beats Texas Tech and Oklahoma State the next two games then the Sooners could slide into the Big 12 Championship game over Texas and right away it would vault him up to the top into Heisman voter's minds.

Just missed the cut: Tim Tebow, Chase Daniel, Knowshon Moreno, Javon Ringer, Kendall Hunter, Jeremy Maclin


Feel free to put down the beer bong and/or Sebastian Janikowski roofie and give me your opinions on the Heisman candidates and who you think should win or whom I should consider if I left somebody off the list.

NEW SHAMPOO

It's good to see they have come out with a shampoo specifically for guys like me who are short and curly. Don't be surprised if your favorite team or athlete is now using this in their shower stalls...

Monday, November 10, 2008

2008 NOTRE DAME: RETURN TO MEDIOCRITY


In the wake of the humiliating 17-0 defeat at the hands of Boston College on Saturday night lies a Notre Dame football program with so much promise but little performance. Despite Notre Dame playing an incredibly weak schedule and returning over 80% of their starters from a disastrous 2007 campaign the Fighting Irish now sit at 5-4 with a best case scenario of finishing 7-5. They are not going to beat USC again and they have a good chance of losing to Navy this week...again. As much as it pains me to write that last sentence it's the truth. Notre Dame football has become average at best.

Charlie Weis is now 1-15 in his last 16 games against teams with winning records. Supporters of Charlie, whom I admit was one of the blue and gold blinders leading the bandwagon, wanted to say two of the reasons they lose or underperform on Saturdays are because of inexperience and youth. These are great excuses when they were facts last season but this year is different. The Fighting Irish have plenty of players with tons of gameday experience now so it's no longer a valid argument. Players like Jimmy Clausen, Armando Allen, Robert Hughes, James Aldridge, Duval Kamara, Golden Tate, and the whole offensive line got tons of actual playing time the past two seasons to qualify as seasoned veterans. And pretty much every defensive starter played last season significant minutes so why do they lose to teams like Boston College, North Carolina, Pitt, and Michigan State when one can make the argument they are less talented and sit in the same boat with maybe more inexperienced players playing?

Watching this team slowly go down the shitter has been painful needless to say. I see a ton of talent in players like Michael Floyd, Golden Tate, Kyle Rudolph, Jimmy Clausen, David Bruton, Kyle McCarthy, Brian Smith, Raeshon McNeil, and numerous others but I continue to see a team that totally shits the bed on Saturdays. There are no more excuses to struggle to squeeze out a close home win over a horrible San Diego State team. There are no more excuses to blow leads against Stanford, North Carolina, and Pitt which cost you victories in two of those games. Excuses are like assholes and everyone has one including Charlie's enormous one.

Before the Boston College game I stated that this particular game would be the defining moment in Charlie Weis career at Notre Dame. Win and they have a good shot of going 8-4 into a decent bowl game(which hasn't been won in 15 years) and the recruiting will continue to go beyond my wildest expectations into a 2009 season with a lot of promise. Lose and they will continue to have little confidence in themselves to beat teams with winning records and the magical dream seasons of 2009 and 2010 I predicted would be just that...a dream. And lo and behond what unfolded on Saturday night in Chestnut Hill was an embarrassing and disgusting performance. They got shutout by a team that was allowing nearly 30 points per game in their previous 4 games. They didn't fight. They had defeat in their eyes as soon as Charlie limped out on the field. Charlie promised a "NASTY" team but what he has brought is too many nasty performances on the field. His most significant and memorable game at Notre Dame was a fucking lost to USC in 2005. They lost and yet it gave most Notre Dame fans hope they would compete with a big time program and rival like USC in the future years. They haven't come close.

So where do we go from here? If Notre Dame loses on Saturday to the Naval Academy they HAVE TO FIRE Charlie Weis at the end of the season. You can not lose consecutive games to Navy especially after last season when Charlie personally blew the game at home by not attempting the game winning field goal. Navy is undersized and undermanned in talent but you know they will fight to the end which can not be said about this 2008 Notre Dame squad. I hate having to bring in a new coach because in most times it is starting a rebuilding process that could take years. But this isn't the case for Notre Dame. Who ever coaches in 2009 and beyond will have a program loaded with 5 and 4 star players that Charlie Weis and his staff recruited. The coaching staff has done an excellent job of recruiting and for this they should be granted a pat on the back. But the performances, or lack thereof on Saturdays in the Fall by the football team, deserve a swift kick in the ass. There is no fire in this team because the coaching staff isn't holding players accountable for their actions.

Granted this season isn't nearly as painful as 2007 was but it's starting to approach that level for me. If Charlie Weis and his staff don't finish the season with wins over Navy and Syracuse and at least a respectable showing against USC then I think Charlie owes it to himself and all Notre Dame alumni and fans by walking away. If he really loves Notre Dame as much as I think he does he will do the right thing and hand the keys to somebody who can get the most out of this team. He has stated he will take over play calling duties this week over offensive coordinator Mike Haywood to help the offense score more points this week against Navy. Which means as long as they score then he is a genius right? Okay, sarcasm aside It's pretty simple, you go five wide and let Michael Floyd and Golden Tate run past Navy defenders while running a two minute offense like Texas Tech does because Jimmy Clausen is most comfortable in it. But the skeptic in me thinks we will come out with two deep in the backfield and try to pound the ball with our weak running game.

As my buddy Jeff always says, "Beer is great!" whenever I text him my frustrations about the Notre Dame program. It might be the perfect tonic in Baltimore on Saturday for me if the Irish play like they did in Chestnut Hill.

God have mercy on Notre Dame and especially my weak liver and sanity. Go Irish! Beat Navy!

Friday, November 07, 2008

SHAQ DOWN THE THUNDER

Notre Dame landed one of the nation's best high school receivers today when 4 star prospect Shaquelle Evans out of California picked Notre Dame over USC. Shaq Evans is an explosive receiver who will join the already talented Notre Dame receiver's core of Golden Tate and Michael Floyd next year and should get immediate playing time. Especially if he plays the college game as well as he dominates the high school game...

Now if only Notre Dame could get some defensive linemen and linebackers they might actually have a front 7 who puts some pressure on the quarterback. With three months left till signing day look for Charlie Weis and the staff to put a full effort into landing defensive stars like Chris Bonds, Mante Te'O and Jelani Jenkins. The offensive class is now completely stacked with Evans on board but they need the defensive studs to make the whole class elite from top to bottom.


Video HT: UHND

WITH BECKS OVERSEAS NOW, VICTORIA WILL NEED YOUR ATTENTION


Don Chavez has the spanktacular pictures of Victoria Beckham showing off her store boughts for some advertisement that is not nearly as annoying as Toyota's current one. It actually kind of perks me up. I could use a warm glass of saline milk right now.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF A CLEAN BALLPLAYER


Look at that fucking grin on Jayson Werth. He is high as a kite brotha. My buddy Tobin sent me the picture of Werth among many others of last week's Phillies celebration parade and I couldn't help but laugh at the one above. I've never heard Werth speak a word but I would imagine it would sound a lot like this...


Just a reminder people that I got a brand new batch of fresh cooked "Phucking Phantastic 2008 World Champs" shirts in for you to consume and devour...

THOSE AT&T COMMERCIALS ARE GETTING CRYPTIC


I actually could deal with a commercial like this on television. It's those annoying Toyota commercials lately that have me going absolutely crazy. You know the ones with the O% down BS and the want to rip your ear drums out tune they play to it. And they play it all the time during football games. I've never owned a Toyota (Dodge man myself) and I can honestly say I never will even think about buying one after seeing those commercials played during every single break in the action. Now if you want to throw some eye candy in there Toyota, say a Jessica Biel or a Heidi Klum, then we can start talking. But until you do your as dead as the pitchman for AT&T. Capiche?

This Week's College Football Pick 'em

Okay folks, I know! I really screwed up my picks last week. Hell, Matt and I both did. I really thought Georgia would show up in Jacksonville, but I guess they didn't get the memo. I also put too much faith in Texas, and even though I picked them to win, it was great to see Texas Tech come out on top. Did you guys see the new shirts?
TEXAS TECH
Oh, I'm also sorry I even tried to throw in a UConn game to the mix. I guess they are overrated, and I got a little excited.
Let's crack open a cold one and forget last week. Cheers to another exciting Saturday!

Cheese Whistle's 11 Picks:

#1 Alabama @ #16 LSU: Although LSU has rolled over the Tide the past 5 match-ups, expect Alabama to win the "Saban Bowl."

#6 Oklahoma @ Texas A&M: My gut is going with Oklahoma tearing up all that agriculture.

Baylor @ #4 Texas: The Longhorns will be looking to take out their frustration on poor Baylor this weekend.

#11 Ohio State @ #24 Northwestern: I think this game will be a battle to the end. I picture purple fans to bum-rush the field at the end of this one.

#9 Oklahoma State @ #2 Texas Tech: This game is going to be awesome! I had a hard time choosing sides on this one, but Texas Tech is looking too good right now.

#5 Florida @ Vandy: In an SEC battle, I believe Florida will continue to steam roll their opponents.

#21 California @ #7 USC: I really wanted to pick California on this on, but with two losses as compared to USC's one loss, I had to go with the Condoms.

#13 Georgia @ Kentucky: Georgia is going to come out pissed off after last week's debacle. Ugh. I can't get that nightmare out of my head.

#20 Georgia Tech @ #19 North Carolina: This is going to be another great Saturday game. Georgia Tech will just squeak by NC.

Utah State @ #10 Boise State: The Broncos are 8-0 this year, and I assume they will smash Utah State. I was driving through Boise early this Summer, but a big sand storm blanketed the sky, so I couldn't see any mountains or the town. I'm still bummed about that.

On a side note, I'm putting my money on the Undefeated Fighting Dave Letterman's this week. Go Ball State!


Matt Fairchild's picks:

#1 Alabama @ #16 LSU: As much I want to see LSU pull the upset here I think Bama will be too tough especially with mac truck Cody back to clog up the middle.

#6 Oklahoma @ Texas A&M: Faggies don't have a prayer. Sam Bradford will put up some Heisman like numbers in this game and score some serious Sooner poon like this...

Image courtesy of MacG's trip to Norman

Baylor @ #4 Texas: Texas still has a shot at the National Championship and will come out and show Baylor who the Real McCoy is.

#11 Ohio State @ #24 Northwestern: Northwestern and Ohio State can both suck my balls. God, I hate watching Big Ten football. It's like watching two fat people fuck. Nobody wins.

#9 Oklahoma State @ #2 Texas Tech: I'm going upset special right here. This game is going to be fucking awesome. I just think the Red Raiders are in for a let down game after the huge win over Texas last week.

#5 Florida @ Vandy: The Gaytors will have won this game as soon as the first whistle is blown. I got this sinking feeling we are going to see Urban in the BCS Championship.

#21 California @ #7 USC: I got to take FUSC on this one. Those fucking tree hugging hippies up in Berkeley could use some Trojans in my opinion.

#13 Georgia @ Kentucky: The Dawgs looked like garbage last week and will look to take their frustrations out on Kensucky.

#20 Georgia Tech @ #19 North Carolina: I will be rooting for the We love our Johnson's but I think the Tarholes will win by creating turnovers. Plus Tech's QB Nesbitt is more roughed up then a Pete Carroll hooker.

Utah State @ #10 Boise State: Nobody beats Boise State on their Smurf turf. And I mean nobody lays a hand on Smurfette except me.

And here is my Notre Dame pick of the week:
Listen, Notre Dame shit the bed last week against Pitt. They should have fucking killed the Stache but they got conservative and blew the game in the second half with an eventual loss in 4 OT's. This week they get to redeem themselves up in Chestnut Hill with Backup College the opponent. This will be the defining game of Charlie Weis' career at Notre Dame. They have too much talent to lose to BC. If they lose the season is a lost cause in my opinion. They should have beat the Tarholes and Shitzburgh and for sure should win this game. If they lose this game then Weis as a head coach is as good as dead to me like Davie and Willingham. No more youth excuses or lack of depth BS. They should be able to manhandle an average BC team with no Matt Ryan.
Notre Dame 33
Backup College 20

Thursday, November 06, 2008

REAL MAN BEER. REAL. MAN. MEN.

THE BRADY QUINN ERA FINALLY BEGINS


Cleveland Browns fans and Notre Dame fans for that matter will finally get their wish tonight as Brady Quinn will finally start his first NFL game against the Denver Broncos. The local Dublin, OH product has been a fan favorite ever since he was drafted in the first round in 2007 out of Notre Dame. Quinn has been the face of the franchise and some could even say the NFL with all his endorsements since being drafted even though he has only thrown 8 passes in his NFL career.

Derek Anderson, the incumbent starting quarterback Quinn is replacing, has been awful this year completing less than 50% of his passes and is currently ranked 31st among starting NFL QBs in passer rating while leading the Browns to a 3-5 record. To say he was due to be benched would be a huge understatement. Let's be honest here: Anderson is an average at best NFL quarterback whom the Browns management made a huge mistake last offseason giving him a 3 year contract worth up 24 million after he lead the Browns to 10 wins in a smoke and mirrors season.

But let's forget about Derek lick my balls and let's talk about Brady Quinn. He has been the future and now he is finally the present for a struggling Browns franchise looking to win for the first time in...well, forever. Quinn has the talent and the smarts to be a successful NFL Quarterback and holding a clipboard for another season and a half wasn't going to make him any better. Brady will now get the majority of the snaps on the first team offense during practice and will look to prove himself tonight against one of the worst pass defenses in the NFL.

In my mind Brady will be a success in the NFL because of the trials and tribulations he went through while in college. People tend to forget he helped lead Notre Dame to two BCS Bowl games despite playing behind an average and some would say bad offensive line which often got him killed. It's no coincidence that the Irish had one of their worst seasons in their storied history once Brady left. He was that great in college.

I also find it humorous the Browns are now finally giving Brady Quinn the starting job when his contract calls for escalators of up to $11 million if he gets 55% of the snaps in 2008. Granted if Brady starts the rest of the season and the Browns are successful he might get enough snaps but coach Romeo Crennel waited till week 10, which is halfway through the season, to give him the starting job when Derek Lick My Balls Anderson is completing less than 50% of his passes.

I for one will be Brady's #1 fan and cheerleader tonight. I was at his first college game at Notre Dame against Washington State when he was a true freshman and became a big fan ever since he took his first snap behind center. Charlie Weis has often said he has the "IT" factor you are looking for in quarterbacks much like a Tom Brady and/or Joe Montana. He is a leader and will help the Browns win games much like a Ben Roethlisberger has done for the Steelers.

The legend of Brady Quinn starts tonight...

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

TOP 10 CFB SPORTSCRACK POLL



1. Alabama Crimson Tide-Bama is your new #1 for this week after coasting to an easy win over Arkansas State and benifitting from the Longhorns loss. I'm not convinced this Bama team is a great team but right now they are the only undefeated SEC team and if they beat LSU in Baton Rouge this week they have a great shot of going into the SEC Title with no losses. I think LSU and the home crowd will be ready for Saban's "homecoming" and it should be a close game.

2. Texas Tech Red Raiders-They beat Texas. Granted they needed a touchdown with one second left on the clock to squeeze it out, they dominated the tempo of the game and it was not a fluke win. Graham Harrell had the poise and calm demeanor of a Tom Brady and Michael Crabtree proved to the nation why he is the best receiver in the country. They are going to need to bring their A game this week with a tough Oklahoma State program looking to stay in contention for a Big 12 Title game. I wouldn't be surprised if both #1 and #2 go down this weekend and totally fucks the BCS yet again.

3. Penn State Nittany Lions-They were off last week after a hard fought victory over Ohio State two weeks ago. They travel to Iowa to play a Hawkeyes team that has been snake bitten in four games this year, losing each by less than 6 points. On paper this shouldn't be a cake walk for Penn State and I expect a big game from Iowa RB Shonn Greene. If Penn State wins they could be the new #1.

4. Texas Longhorns-The Longhorns faced a Texas Tech team that was hitting on all cylinders in Lubbock and if their starting freshman safety Gideon doesn't let the ball slip into between his fingers then they are still the #1 team in the country. A loss is difficult to swallow but the Longhorns are still very much in the running to win the Big 12 South and could squeeze into the BCS Title game if they win out. They need to start by crushing Baylor this week and making a statement that they are still the best team in the Big 12.

5. Oklahoma State Cowboys-WR Dez Bryant is giving Michael Crabtree a run for his money on best receiver in the nation right now. His 4 touchdown catches against Iowa State puts him on pace for 20 this season which would lead the nation. The Cowboys travel to Lubbock(they will now have 3 games on the road against the top 3 teams in the nation at one point) and will be facing a Red Raiders team primed for a letdown. If the Cowboys win Saturday night then you have to give them serious consideration for a BCS Title game appearance.

6. Oklahoma Sooners-Absolutely destroyed Nebraska and now travel to College Station to presumably do the same to Texas A&M. They get Texas Tech in two weeks..holy shit, the Big 12 South is absolutely loaded this year. If any team comes out of the Big 12 with a conference title and only one loss then they should be playing in the BCS Title game. No questions asked.

7. Florida Gators-The Gators beat the living shit out of UGA in Jacksonville and are now in the driver's seat to win the SEC East. They need to win out and hope they beat an undefeated Alabama team in the SEC Championship to have a shot at the BCS Title game. Right now the Gators might be the best team in the country with the way they are dominating but they still need a lot of help to move up in my ranking because of the home loss to an unranked Ole Miss team.

8. Utah Utes-Still undefeated despite barely getting by a bad New Mexico team 13-10. One could make the argument they were caught looking ahead to tomorrow's huge game against TCU which will determine which of those two teams reaches a BCS Bowl game. If Utah can beat TCU at home then in the perfect storm they could somehow be in the top 5 next week.

9. USC Trojans-People tend to forget that USC is not a cinch to win the PAC-10 this year. They should win out starting this week against an overrated Cal team but if Oregon State wins their last two games then they win the conference due to the tiebreaker win over USC earlier in the season. In other words best case scenario is USC goes to the Rose Bowl and has no chance of going to the BCS Title game.

10. TCU Horned Frogs-They have the best run defense in the country. They gave up 25 yards rushing to Oklahoma a few weeks ago but their 4 turnovers killed them and if they had cut half of those then they could be undefeated right now. They travel to #8 Utah tomorrow and get the chance to prove why they might be the best one loss team in the country.

NO MORE POLITICS...I GIVE YOU HEIDI KLUM


This commercial of Guitar Hero makes me actually want to buy one if I still played video games today. Supermodels in lingerie have that effect much more than Kobe and A-Rod dancing around in their underwear. Those advertising gurus for Guitar Hero are genuises.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Big Ben Hurts his Vagina


The Steelers had a big win last night in Washington, but it was not without a loss. Big Ben Roethlisberger was injured on a quarterback sneak close to the end of the second quarter of Pittsburgh's 23-6 victory against those crazy Indians. But, "my friends," this was not the big story. It appears after an MRI this morning that Roethlisberger not only aggravated his shoulder, he also tore a few muscles in his vagina. Teammates aren't too sure when the freak accident actually took place, but they are highly suspicious that the Redskins' cheerleaders played a small role in the incident.

Last week Big Ben's little Ben started to get scared. He was overheard stating...

“I’m not a big fan of playing there because it is loud, they’re really good at home and they try to make their cheerleaders stretch in our tunnel before we come out of the locker room. That’s just not good.”

WHAT!!?? Are you kidding me? Cheerleaders are going to distract you to the point where you are scared to play in D.C.? If he was a real man he would approach one of the hot-ass cheerleaders stretching in front of him, grab her ass, and say, "Hey there little foxy lady, how about I throw a touchdown pass for you tonight, then I'll go deep in your endzone after the game." Turn that distraction into a positive thing. Make it an inspiration. Show off for her!

Seriously, you're in the NFL and you can't handle some hottie showing off her assets for you? You're in the NFL. Go out and bang these hot cheerleaders. Live for suckers like me, stuck at home married, and jerking off every day to stay happy.

CHRIS BERMAN INTERVIEW WITH BARACK OBAMA

Or as my Georgian right wing Christian friends would say, Berman interviewing a "Socialist Muslim terrorist who just happens to have the middle name of Hussein, I mean come on, he is the enemy."

This is for you guys. Get over it. You will get to elect the MILF in 2012.


Video HT: Deadspin

Okay, so that isn't the real interview but if you did actually watch the real one and you are a college football junkie like myself how could you not get a little chub when Obama mentioned 8 team playoff as the one thing he would change in sports? I practically wet myself in delight when he mentioned it. Eight teams is perfect as long as USC is not involved. Can we make that a stipulation. Only then will you have my vote.

HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL PLAY OF THE YEAR


I was up at my Dad's house last night celebrating his birthday with the family and he mentioned this play from Friday night's game between Lassiter and Centennial High School. I don't really follow Georgia high school football anymore because I'm not allowed to be near any school campuses after my tryst with a sophomore girl a few years back. Hey, she looked 18, possibly 17. But all kidding aside this is one hell of a play by Lassiter tight end Philip Lutzenkirchen. I can't seem to recall a play like this ever happening in college or pro ball so I'm sure Lutzenkirchen is enjoying his 15 minutes of fame with tons of strange attacking him from all corners. Good for him.

As a wise man once said, "That is what I like about these high school girls, I get older, they stay the same age"....


High School Video HT: WithLeather via HotClicks

A NEW FAVORITE SITE

I just discovered the new wheel of the sports blogosphere with Hockey-Fights.com now being a major part of my daily sports fix. Even if you are not a die hard hockey fan you have to enjoy a good old fashion hockey fight with some haymakers and upper cuts thrown while players skate on a dangerously thin piece of ice just waiting to feel the impact of the loser in the scrum.

Here is a taste of their latest fight between Sean Avery(tough guy who is a pain in the ass and who might be bisexual, hence the pain in the ass) and Andrew Ference and the announcer going crazy...

"Ference banging Avery...Ference wants more...he wants to rip that guy limb from limb!!"

Now that is how you call a hockey fight. I'm presuming it's NESN's Jack Edwards and it's great to see the little guy who won an Emmy as a reporter for ESPN's Sportscenter back in the day now going crazy for the Bruins.

Anyways, go over to Hockey-Fights.com if you want to catch the latest NHL fight.

Monday, November 03, 2008

PHIL FULMER STEPS DOWN AS HEAD COACH AT TENNESSEE

He finally caved in his chair so to speak. Phil Fulmer, the always classy head coach for the Volunteers these past 17 years and who became the inspiration behind EDSBS's Fulmer Cup is now leaving to go on to bigger and better things. I guess that would mean Dunkin Donuts or death. I don't have much to say about Fulmer or Tennessee for that matter. Never been a fan of either so I will let my correspondent from Alabama sum up my feelings for "that school"....

This of course is bad news for Florida and Georgia fans. Tennessee has been on a spiral staircase to nowhere ever since Kelley Washington enrolled but now if they can get a good head coach (Cincy's Brian Kelly or Duke's David Cutcliffe come to mind) they can quickly turn around the once proud program. As much as I dislike the Volunteers it just doesn't seem right for them to be 1-5 in the SEC this year so I guess getting rid of Fulmer was inevitable. That National Championship season of 1998 seems as old as the Civil War to the Volunteers simple minded folks.

In honor of Fulmer leaving we are discounting all of the Volunqueers shirts to $8 for the next 2 days. It only seems right.

KNOCKERS TRAIL BY 3


Fox's Kenny Albert had a bit of a Freudian slip coming back from commercial break during yesterday's Titans-Knockers...I mean Packers game. I have no idea why he would say knockers. He must have been thinking about the knocking of kids at his door on Halloween night. Yeah, that must be it.

Video HT: FanIQ

GUNS UP HORNS DOWN 39-33 SHIRT


In honor of the Red Raiders upsetting the #1 ranked Longhorns in Lubbock on a last second touchdown catch from Michael Crabtree (Heisman moment) we have come up with this "GUNS UP HORNS DOWN 39-33" t-shirt. On the front of this vintage feel and look black t-shirt is the date of game "November 1, 2008" and the statement "Showdown for the Ages" on each side of the guns along with the "GUNS UP 39-33 HORNS DOWN" slogan. On the back of the shirt it simply says "BEVO IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER."

Get these one of a kind commemorative UNLICENSED shirts and celebrate the greatest win ever in Lubbock, Texas before they are gone.

Shirts are available for the low price of $17 at this link.

This guy can't get enough of the shirts...settle down big boy before you blow your load....