Wednesday, December 31, 2008

RANDOM LATE CHRISTMAS VIDEO

I know this is a week late but I thought this video was priceless...

A LITTLE INSPIRATION GOING INTO 2009

Okay, so maybe your 401K went to shit like mine this past year and your house value went down quicker than Julia Roberts on a casting couch but not all of 2008 was bad. For me personally it was a great year. I got married to the girl of my dreams without having to handcuff her to the well I made in the backyard in case she said no. My favorite sports teams in the Baltimore Orioles, Notre Dame Football, and Atlanta Thrashers all managed to play horrible this season when I did not attend their games but when I did they won them all. What can I say other than I'm good luck! We finally got over the whole hoopla over electing someone with some brains for once and picked a great candidate in Barack Obama. We got some of the greatest, most courageous human beings serving in our military right now who deserve a solid pat on the back and a thank you. We got to witness one of the best movie performances of all-time by the late Heath Ledger in the Dark Knight. We also got unbelievable performances from Michael Phelps in the Olympics. The New York Giants won the Super Bowl thanks to the greatest play in Super Bowl history with Eli Manning alluding Patriot defenders and David Tyree catching the impossible with his helmet and hand. Tiger Woods fought through a terrible injury to seal another US Open win. We got to witness the greatest tennis match of all-time as Rafael Nadal edged Roger Federer in the epic Wimbledon Final. The Tampa Bay Rays proved you don't have to have all the money in the world and can still win the American League East thanks to good scouting and development especially among pitching(take a hint Baltimore). 2008 might go down as the best sport year considering all the brilliant performances in big time moments.

So maybe your team didn't win a championship or maybe they didn't win at all like the Detroit Lions. At least you are still here walking on the face of the greatest nation to ever be assembled. Cheer the fuck up and be ready to rock out in 2009.

Here is your inspirational speech going into 2009:



Here is to looking forward to 2009 when the Atlanta Falcons will take on the Baltimore Ravens in the Super Bowl. Here is to the North Carolina basketball team finishing off an undefeated season by beating the Tar out of everybody. Here is to Notre Dame finally getting their shit together and beating USC at home in a magical season that ends in BCS chaos. Here is to thanking every single one of you who come on this blog and put up with my rants and rambles.

Have a great New Years!

BCS GAMES START TOMORROW, WHY NOT GET THE SHIRT TO START THE NEW YEAR?


With the BCS games starting tomorrow I thought now would be a great time to promote one of our shirts. Our BC$ shirt is one of the most popular ones we sell coming in 4th in annual sales behind Ann Arbor is a Whore, FUSC, and Drink Like A Champion Today. I think this goes to show you that people really don't like the BCS and want playoffs instead of this bullshit system we have right now.
Here are my predictions for the BCS games tomorrow. The Rose Bowl again will be a home game for the O.J.'s. They face JoePa's State Penn squad who also only has one loss on their resume. Both teams would have a legitimate shot at a NC in a playoff system so I think this game might be a little tighter than most people think. The O.J.'s and State Penn both play great defense and the O.J.'s have at least 5 guys on their D who will be 1st round picks either this year or next. Their offense isn't anything special but I think they will pull out some tricks tomorrow and overwhelm State Penn with some reverses and tailback passes.
Prediction: O.J.'s 24 State Penn 17

The other game is the Orange Bowl. You have the ACC Champ vs. the Big East Champ. In other words the one BCS Bowl that really no one gives a shit about except for those fan bases. Virginia Tech is so damn boring to watch it's like trying to stay awake during a Harry Potter film. And if you like Harry Potter please just go away now or come back when your balls decide to drop. Cincy won the Big East which kind of like winning a pie eating contest. Sure you ate the most pies but it in the end you are still just a fat kid with shit all over your face, you just ate more shit than the other fatties. Honestly I don't give a fuck about the Orange Bowl and I probably won't even watch it. I hear Brian Kelly is a helluva coach and that Frank Beamer's growth knows how to teach special teams but whatever, I don't care. I've probably seen all of 20 minutes of film on both these teams combined so this prediction is as garbage as one you would get on the WWL.
Prediction: Frank Beamer's growth 17 Big Least 14

OREGON'S LEGARRETTE BLOUNT HURDLES OVER THE COWBOYS

The Holiday Bowl is known for having one of the most exciting bowl games because it usually matches up two teams that don't know how to play defense. Last night was a perfect example as the Oregon Ducks beat the Oklahoma State Cowboys thanks to this incredible run by Oregon RB Legarrette Blount...

Hell of a run by Blount but seriously, what was up with the safety on the play? It's like he decided to play grab ass for five yards thinking those hideous Duck uni's might be toxic. I know Nike is a global brand and people love it for the most part because they have Asian kids making them for 15 cents a day but can they please come up with a better uniform to represent the Oregon Ducks? Their uniforms remind me of the disco fabulous 70's and early 80's uniforms sported by teams like the Houston Astros, Pittsburgh Pirates, and Baltimore Orioles. They made you sick just to look at them. Maybe that is the allure of the Oregon uniform. Defenders are so turned off they don't even want to get near it let alone tackle it.

I also wanted to show this clip of St. Louis Ram's RB Steven Jackson hurdling an Atlanta Falcon's defender on Sunday. After watching the game there is little doubt in my mind that Jackson is one of the 2-3 best runningbacks in the game right now. He plays on a shit team but the guy brings the business 100% of the time he touches the ball and I personally would love to have a player of Jackson's ability and heart on my team unlike nancy boy Tomlinson....


Video HT: FanIQ

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

CHASE DANIEL'S FAMILY IS HIGHLY EMOTIONAL


The bat shit crazy lady on the left is the mother of Missouri QB Chase Daniel. She appears to be somewhat normal in comparison to her daughter, the girl in the middle, who had the look on her face like she just witnessed 2 Girls 1 Cup for the first time. And the awesome lassie on the right of the screen is Daniel's girlfriend who is looking forward to traveling with him while he auditions for scout QB jobs in the NFL. Missouri won the battle of the journalism schools last night by beating Northwestern in another bowl game I had absolutely no interest in and honestly can say I didn't watch one highlight of it.

On the other hand I watched about 10 hours of the NFL on Sunday because the games actually meant something. Starting with the Falcon's game against the Rams and then proceeding with the Eagles unbelievably awesome beat down of the Cowgirls followed up by the nightcap of the Chargers laying the River's lumber down on a terrible Broncos team to get in the playoffs. By the way, LT is one of biggest vaginas in the world. People love him but as soon as he gets a hangnail or his anal cavity flaps in the wind he comes out with an "apparent" injury. Man up for once LT and play like a leader you piece of shit.

Sorry for that readers, had to get it off my chest. Never been a huge fan of Tomlinson who really doesn't deserve his nickname. The real LT would do blow all day and then kick the living shit out of QB's whom I sure were doing blow too while murdering runningbacks like they were Ray Lewis in Atlanta. He deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Tomlinson should be in the Hall of Roast Beef ends. If you don't believe me then why don't you ask his "action" figurine...



Video HT: Barstool Sports

Saturday, December 27, 2008

HAKEEM NICKS SECURES A GREAT CATCH AND FUTURE NFL MILLIONS

North Carolina WR Hakeem Nicks put on a one man show today against West Virginia in a losing effort on the field at the Meineke who gives a rat's ass bowl. But Nicks will be winning millions of future NFL dollars in April once he is selected in the first round after brilliant catches like this one today...

Michael Crabtree would still be my #1 choice for a receiver in the draft but the way Nicks uses his size and his ability to snag some difficult balls would make it very hard for any NFL GM to pass on. Especially the Detroit Lions. Seriously, the Lions are dumb enough to take another receiver. It's not even funny anymore.

Friday, December 26, 2008

MICHAEL FLOYD'S GOLDEN SHOWER MOMENT


It's always great to hear porn references during a Notre Dame football game. It's just a matter of time before the money shot comes along. Thank god the bowl curse is over and now Notre Dame can go into an offseason with the momentum of a bowl victory. Sure it was only the Hawaii Bowl but it gets the monkey off their backs.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

HAWAII BOWL THOUGHTS


No more excuses for Notre Dame. They have to win this bowl game. Hawaii is not good and for that matter either is Notre Dame but they should win because they have way more experience and talent than the Warriors.

Every position on the field except maybe defensive line they have a huge advantage in terms of playing time and talent. Sure it's a home game for Hawaii but it shouldn't matter. If the Fighting Irish can not find enough motivation to end a 15 year bowl game losing streak tonight and wipe off the disgust of a 6-6 campaign then they don't deserve to wear the blue and gold.

Man up Irish! Come out with some fire and get ready to knock the shit out of your opponent. Stop being the nice guys. This is football. Kill or be killed. Throw bombs to Golden Tate. Run reverses to Golden Tate. Do direct snaps to Golden Tate. The point is get the ball into Golden Tate's hands as much as possible. Stop fucking around with your opponent and show some pride and determination to be the best that you can be and go out there and win one for the Limper.

Prediction:Notre Dame 31 Hawaii 24

The bowl curse is finally over. Michael Haywood leaves ND to go to Miami of Ohio with a good taste in his mouth knowing the last two places he left their programs won National Championships (LSU and Texas) the year after. One can only hope the same happens for the Irish in 2009.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

ROY FIRESTONE'S THOUGHTS ON THE TEIXEIRA SIGNING


Just to give you some background information Roy Firestone is a huge Baltimore Orioles fan. He doesn't do "Up Close" anymore on ESPN but still follows sports avidly and is very passionate in regards to his favorite team the Orioles. Here is what he posted today on Orioles Hangout after learning Mark Teixeira was going to sign with the New York Yankees...

Look. You could argue that the O's shouldve ponied up another 2 million more a year..make it 16 or 17 extra million... but somehow I think no matter what, the Yankees would have gone even higher.
This is just wrong.
Baseball should not be run by money. The game should not be dominated by a handful of teams. And theres no way that four of the highest paid players in the game should play on the same team.
Think about that.
Four players on the same team make more than entire budgets of many major league teams.
I think I know where you are going. Well.. what if it had been the Red Sox or the Angels or even the Nats? Would that make this more just? Of course not. I find this whole execise despicable..EVEN if it had been the Orioles who signed him at that number!!
I will make a prediction. And it is not just mine. I think baseball will hit some serious financial problems and one or two teams will go bankrupt. Maybe more.
Most fans will resent the financial inequity and the inability to compete. Baseball could be villified for this.
I believe the Yankee franchise will be in serious financial trouble someday, perhaps in the not too distant future.
Its already unbelievable that it costs a family of four something close to 200 to 250 dollars to enjoy a baseball game at the ballpark. The Yankees have single game tickets in the box area that go for an astonishing 2,500 dollars.
This is wrong. This is an insult to the American sports fan.On top of that with this country teetering into an unemployment rate of 8-9% and maybe higher...baseball has got a lot of nerve.
This is a dark day for sports in America.


I couldn't agree more with Roy. I have this sinking feeling that we will have some MLB teams fold because so many teams are going to be strapped with ridiculous contracts that can not be torn apart. Paying a baseball player $20 million plus a season is beyond ridiculous. Paying one $15 million a season is also way too much. A player like Mark Teixeira doesn't sell tickets. He isn't a Albert Pujols or a Manny Ramirez or even a Derek Jeter. Those guys sell tickets.

MLB needs to adopt the NFL model in pay if it wants to succeed in the future. No contracts are guaranteed except your signing bonus. This way small market teams other than the big market teams can compete for free agents and not be afraid to get caught with a debilitating chokehold of a contract around their neck for years to come. The player doesn't perform up to their pay scales then they deserve to be cut just like all of us do if we don't perform to the highest standards set by our profession.

But whatever, it doesn't matter what I think because MLB and their officials could honestly care less. In the end the league will only fail if people stop going. I'm starting now by not throwing out my hard earned money for the MLB package in the spring. I can find better ways to spend my $169 for a product/business that cares less what the fans think. I will go to the games but only if they are free tickets or if I can buy them off a scalper for less than face value. I've been kicked in the nuts way too many times to not learn to protect myself from future ball pain.

THANKS FOR NOTHING TEIXEIRA

Thanks for proving beyond everything that greed wins out in the end. Forget about any boyhood aspirations of playing for the home team you grew up rooting for in the end all that mattered were the number of zeros in your check. Thanks for going to play for the Baltimore Orioles most hated rival in the New York Yankees. Thanks for proving beyond a doubt you are just another one of Scott Boras' lackeys. Thanks for the bullshit you will spew in a few days when introduced in your brand new pinstripes prison suit that you signed the contract because "you just wanted to win." Thanks for letting down the whole state of Maryland and proving you are who you are and that is a greedy, overpaid athlete who is too scared to lead a team on his own.

Thanks for being the bitch you are Mark. $180 million will buy you a lot of friends but it will never buy you loyalty or pride in oneself. So in the end thank you for proving to everyone and finally myself that you are nothing more than a gluttonous reprehensible athlete that is the epitome of everything that is wrong in sports. The almighty dollar wins and you too will win as you get booed for grounding into that crucial double play in Yankees Stadium and again booed unmercifully as your picture comes up on the jumbo tron at Orioles Park.

$180 million just bought you this for the rest of your playing days...

NHL HOCKEY AT WRIGLEY FIELD


It doesn't really matter if you like hockey the concept of playing the frozen game on Wrigley Field is cool. Of course Gary Bettman made the mistake of scheduling it on January 1st when many Americans like myself would rather be watching bowl games that really don't matter. The Chicago Blackhawks should have the homefield advantage taking on the Detroit Red Wings and hopefully like last year there will be a lot of snow involved. I've got a question and it's a serious one since I have never experienced a game in freezing conditions: Do they have to serve beer warm to keep it from freezing? Or do you just stick it up your ass and then dispense once needed?

Video HT: WithLeather

Monday, December 22, 2008

HORRIBLE BREAK FOR FRESHMAN SENSATION DEANDRE BROWN


Lost among the talk of the terrific trio of freshmen receivers this year in college football from the big time programs in Michael Floyd, AJ Green, and Julio Jones is the season Southern Miss Deandre Brown put together. Unfortunately his season came to an end last night in the bowl victory over Troy last night when he leg inadvertently snapped in two. I hope the young man heals quickly and gets back on the football field soon.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

PLAYOFFS BABY!!

Friday, December 19, 2008

SO THIS IS WHAT $243 MILLION WILL BUY YOU


A.J. Burnett and his wife Karen(rumored to be an ex-stripper) supposedly wanted to stay near their home in Bowie, MD but then when the Yankees offered $82 mil all bets were off. C.C. Sabathia and his wife wanted to go back to home on the West Coast but then the Yankees blew out everybody and gave him $161 million. Two pitchers for $243 million who with fantastic seasons might win 35-40 games combined if C.C. doesn't blow out his arm on a plate of spaghetti and A.J. doesn't trip over a hangnail to the disabled list.

There is no doubt the Yankees are a way better team today then they were last week. But $243 million for two guys in a terrible economy bordering on the line between shitty and nasty? Now that is just stupid. At least tickets in the new billion dollar plus stadium will be cheap next season. If you want to sit in the lower deck the minimum seat is $100 with prices going up to $2500 per seat. Second deck starts at $75 a ticket. And the cheap seats in the upper bowl, in between air traffic and the Empire State Building go for $20. At least from those seats you won't be able to see Madonna's VD. Have fun Yankees fans taking your family to a ballgame which would make Disney World envious of the cash you spill for 3 hours of boredom.

THIS IS FOR GENE CHIZIK MR. BARKLEY



Bravo C-Webb for pulling a good one on Charles Barkley with the President Bush shoe throwing impersonation.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

BRAVES PRESIDENT JOHN SCHUERHOLZ GOES OFF ON FURCAL'S AGENTS


Current Atlanta Braves president and former GM John Schuerholz had these choice words for the agent of Rafael Furcal as told by the AJC's Jeff Schultz:

“Having been in this business for 40-some years, I’ve never seen anybody treated like that,” Schuerholz said. “The Atlanta Braves will no longer do business with that company — ever. I told [agent] Arn Tellem that we can’t trust them to be honest and forthright. I told him that in all my years, I’ve never seen any [agency] act in such a despicable manner.

“It was disgusting and unprofessional. We’re a proud organization and we won’t allow ourselves to be treated that way. I advised Arn Tellem that whatever players he represents, just scratch us off the list. Take the name of the Atlanta Braves off their speed dial. They can deal with the other 29 clubs and we’ll deal with the other hundred agents.”

“I expressed my great disappointment to him,” he said. “I watched as Frank shared with me the circumstances of his negotiations with Furcal — negotiations to the point where we increased our offer and he [Kinzer] then asked for a signed term sheet to be sent over. We never got that signed term sheet faxed back to us and we later found out why — because they took that offer and shopped it.”

When asked about Tellem’s reaction, Schuerholz said: “He was surprised. He tried to explain himself. He said he had nothing to do with it — it was the work of Paul Kinzer. I reminded him that [Kinzer] works for him and he has to stand behind the people who work for him. I told him I was making this official, and I was going to make it public.”


As much as I hate agents and some of the things they do in bartering a player's career why don't the owners/GM's ever hold the player accountable? Doesn't Rafael Furcal have some part of the blame on this deal? If he really wanted to come back to Atlanta I think he would have signed the papers and been done with it but they shopped it back to the Dodgers so he would have to have some knowledge of this.

I'm starting to worry that this shit is going to happen to Mark Teixeira in his dealings with Scott Boras. Teixeira wants to play for the Baltimore Orioles. He really does as hard as it is for some people to understand. Mark and I are basically the same person except he makes millions and millions of dollars and is a hell of a baseball player. We both grew up loving the Orioles and idolized Cal Ripken. In fact I believe we were born in the same hospital and our families are both from the Severna Park, MD area. We both went to college in Georgia and met our wives there. And being an Orioles fan there is no way in hell I would sign with the Red Sox, Yankees, or Washington Nationals over my beloved Baltimore Orioles. He could be close to home with family and friends and all the trimmings of being a local hero come home to revitalize a once proud franchise. And if the Orioles offered $140-150 million for 7 years then why would you take that offer and shop it to your rivals and go with those guys instead of the franchise you grew up loving. It just doesn't make a lot of sense. It can't all be about the money right? Tell me it's not just about the money Tex? Sorry, I watched Jerry Maguire the other night.

Anyways this offseason of baseball is making my stomach turn and making more disgusted with the sport as a whole. It's too much about shady agents and dumb owners and GM's giving players who aren't worth the money way too much of it. There seems to be no loyalty anymore and it even seems to trickle down to the writers like Buster Olney and Peter Gammons who think no other teams beside the Red Sox and Yankees should bid for players or think about going after the top free agents because those two teams are the only ones that matter. I'm sick of it to be honest with you.

If Teixeira signs with the Red Sox then I am not going to watch any baseball in 2009. I'm serious. There is no reason why the Red Sox are even bidding for his services. They have an All-Star first baseman in Kevin Youkilis and a great DH in David Ortiz so what is the point in adding him? Hopefully Teixeira goes with his heart and signs with the Orioles and then I can order my MLB package and go to the games and spend $9 on a fucking beer and $15 for parking because it's the "economics of the game."

Oh yeah, on the original point of the article. Good for Schuerholz in stepping up and telling those dirtbag agents to go fuck off. This is what separates current GM Frank Wren from Schuerholz. He has balls and is not afraid to tell an agent or a player to basically go fuck off. I wish he was still the Braves GM because they would have a hell of a lot better product on the field next year.

F THE CELTICS...JOSH SMITH AND THE HAWKS WILL GET THEM NEXT TIME


So the Atlanta Hawks didn't beat the obnoxious Boston Celtics last night to end their 15 game winning streak and I say who cares. The Hawks match up well with the Celtics and you can tell that KG and Paul Pierce are scared of what this team could do to them come playoff time. The Celtics with the win are now 24-2 and clearly the best team in the NBA(although I'm sure Lakers and Cavs fans would disagree) but they are afraid of this Atlanta squad ever since the Hawks took them to 7 improbable games last year in the playoffs. You don't see KG or Pierce shouting with emotion after a normal victory over the Grizzlies because they don't fear them. Josh Smith and the Hawks will have the last laugh. Sure the Celtics are 2-0 so far against the Hawks but both games could have easily and probably should have been won by Atlanta. I'm going to go out on a limb right now and say the Hawks will eliminate the Celtics in the playoffs.

NBA Finals Prediction: Hawks vs. Lakers bitches!

IRAQ SHOE THROWING STORE



Sorry I have been light on the posts recently. This week has been extremely busy for me with the whole Christmas shopping thing going and shipping out stuff and answering emails like an insane Iraqi shoe salesman. After watching the video above, which made my sides hurt from laughter, I have to give President Bush some props. Way to duck those flying saucers called shoes! And what in the hell was the Secret Service doing? It's almost like they wanted him to get hit. There was no agent throwing his body in front of the second shoe to protect the President. Those guys should be hired to protect Scott Boras.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

BETWEEN TWO FERNS



File that under WHO GIVES A SHIT.

PRO BOWL SNUBS


I will be the first to admit that I could usually care less who makes the Pro Bowl. It's a glorified vacation in Hawaii with worn out NFL players sipping down Singapore Slings and Mai Tais while staring down other things then their wives(call it the Antonio Pierce syndrome) and less about going out and playing tackle football. But this year I have watched a ton of NFL football mainly because the Atlanta Falcons and Baltimore Ravens are both battling for playoffs spots with rookie quarterbacks and rookie head coaches and so I have invested something in the 2008 season.

How these players didn't make the Pro Bowl is a joke and signals how much of the selection is just on past reputation:

JOHN ABRAHAM (Atlanta Falcons)-Abraham has been a beast all season playing on a Falcon's defense which is underrated. Abraham leads all NFL defensive ends in sacks with 15 1/2 yet he got shafted in favor of an underperforming Julius Peppers. We all know Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings and Justin Tuck of the New York Giants should be there but picking Peppers over Abraham is an injustice. He has 3 more sacks and has come up huge in big play situations for the Falcons unlike Peppers.

STEVE SLATON (Houston Texans)-Let me be the first to admit, like my prediction on Matt Ryan, that I was completely wrong about Slaton's impact in the NFL. I honestly didn't think he would have one. But Slaton has proved me wrong by rushing for 1,124 yards and 12 TD's while also catching 40 balls. He deserved to get the nod over Ronnie Brown of the Miami Dolphins. Brown has rushed for 300 LESS yards, 2 TD's LESS, and caught 16 LESS balls while averaging LESS yards per carry than Slaton. That is a lot of LESS and therefore Slaton won't be able to enjoy the leis of Hawaii when he should be.

PHILIP RIVERS (San Diego Chargers)-He has 28 TD passes to lead the AFC and has an impressive QB rating of 101.4. Yet Brett Favre makes the Pro Bowl over him despite leading the NFL in interceptions and his 21 TD's and 86.4 QB rating are not even close to comparable to Rivers. What a fucking joke! Favre might be one of the most overrated players in NFL history. Just ask Peter King after he gets off his knees and removes Favre's member from his mouth.

Those are my three biggest snubs. There are others like Ryan Clady of the Broncos who you could make an argument should be there but I felt there was no argument against Abraham, Slaton, or Rivers getting the selection.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

HITLER REACTS TO NOTRE DAME COACHING



Ich liebe Urban Meyer!

Monday, December 15, 2008

BRIAN MCCANN HAS A SUPERBAD MOMENT ON HIS BAT


Deadspin has this great picture of Atlanta Braves catcher Brian McCann who apparently likes to draw things on his bat. I think we could all see this coming when McCann was in high school and admitted his problem with dong drawing....

CONVINCING SIEMENS COMMERCIAL

First be warned before viewing this commercial. IT HAS NUDITY! I know, it's terrible and obviously not safe for work and the commercial makes little sense but either does this blog and it's readers so I figured why not post it. Obviously the Europeans are a little bit more open in terms of nudity and sky diving...

Link: Fleg Master Tlpizza


God I would love to see a commercial like this played during the Super Bowl just to see the reactions from all the conservative Christians. Their tears of guilt would make it all worth while. Sinners.

Also I found this story pretty interesting in regards to France's First Lady Carla Bruni. Apparently she is suing a bag maker over the use of her nude image while she was a model back in the day. The bags are a huge hit and if you look at her below you can tell why. What is the world coming to when the French get this is a first lady and we got 8 years of George Bush?

She has my vote! You can view more Carla Bruni pics at this link.

Video HT: Joe

AUBURN LOVES THEM SOME GENE CHIZIK

Boooo, 5-19 is not good enough at Iowa State but apparently it's okay for Auburn to fire Tommy Turberville and replace him with Gene Chizik. Laughter and crying can now commence as Auburn goes back to being the doormat of Alabama...


I feel bad for Auburn. Their fans are obviously upset and vulnerable right now. They already hate Gene Chizik and he has yet to even call a play. This of course is the complete opposite of how Alabama fans reacted to the hire of Nick Saban. We going bowling...WHHHHOOOOOO!!!!....


Video HT: Billy

WAS IT A TOUCHDOWN?


The two top ranked NFL defenses showed up yesterday in Baltimore in a great game ending with a controversial call. Personally it didn't look like the ball broke the plane of the end zone and I'm not sure what the officials saw on replay to make it indisputable. Remember that the goal line official spotted Santonio Holmes just short of the end zone so when they went to replay the call had to be indisputable to over turn the original call. So in other words the Ravens got screwed at home. With the win the Pittsburgh Steelers won the AFC North and will now enjoy a first round bye and have a good chance of getting home field advantage throughout the playoffs. Right now the Steelers are playing great football and with the New York Giants looking like garbage in Dallas last night I believe you have to put the Steelers as the favorite to win the Super Bowl.

Friday, December 12, 2008

THE CAN'T MENTION NAME AWARD BEING HANDED OUT PREDICTION


Since I can no longer mention the name or post pictures of the award without being threatened with a lawsuit I will just name the major award they give out tomorrow as the "Most Hyped Bullshit Award for the Guy who will probably blow balls in their respective bowl game and in the NFL."

So without further ado here is my final ballot:

1. Colt McCoy (Texas)-Led his team to a near undefeated season while leading them in rushing as a QB and accounting for over 40 TD's while completing near 80% of his passes. And he beat Sam Bradford and Texas should be playing in the BCS Title game and maybe, just maybe, this makes up for Vince Young not winning it a few seasons ago. Unfortunately with winning this award McCoy will now suck it up in the Fiesta Bowl against an over matched Buckeyes squad who have no right to be in a BCS Bowl game.

2. Tim Tebow (Florida)-He won it last year and again he had an excellent season. But not as good as last year. Tebow will take the consolation prize with a National Championship ring to add to his multiple awards.

3. Sam Bradford (Oklahoma)-Had an unbelievable year even when the Sooners were throwing for TD's late in the fourth quarter up by 40 points. Of course it's not his fault by any means but he lost to McCoy and I am shallow like that.

4. Michael Crabtree (Texas Tech)-I think he is the best player in college football. Maybe he should be #1 but his season stats were not nearly as unbelievable as last year.

5. Graham Harrell (Texas Tech)-Hey, we all know he got fucked not getting the invite. The committee got cheap because the economy is in shambles and they need to sue bloggers. Nothing but love from Sportscrack Graham, you should be there in NYC.

6. Shonn Greene (Iowa)-Ran for over 100 yards in every game and personally carried the Hawkeyes to a pretty big bowl while rushing for over 1700 yards and 17 TDs.

MARRIAGE ADVICE FROM MIKE WILBON

Some women's basketball player named Candace Parker and Shelden Williams got this sound marriage advice from PTI's Mike Wilbon...

I have never been a big fan of Wilbon but this made me laugh out loud.

Video HT: FanIQ

SINCE I DRIVE A DODGE...


...I thought this particular spoof advertisement was really funny. Plus I needed the laugh after an organization which will remain nameless has threatened to sue me because I make dick for money and they don't want to be affiliated or even mentioned by Sportscrack.

Oh yeah, the organization is Floppy's R Us. They also make dicks for money and they like to screw with the little guys.

No worries though, their name will never be mentioned again. This I promise.

Image HT: Dan

Thursday, December 11, 2008

MICHAEL PHELPS LOVES BUSTY COCKTAIL WAITRESSES


Via WWTDD via Splash News comes this photo of Olympic hero Michael Phelps walking through LAX airport with his new girlfriend who just happens to be a Las Vegas cocktease...sorry, I meant cocktail waitress. This is what 8 Gold medals will get you kids. Fame, money and STD's. God bless you Phelps.

BARRY SANDERS JR. CAN PLAY


Just a freshman at Heritage Hall in Oklahoma, Barry Sanders Jr. made varsity and ripped off this 64 yard touchdown run in the Oklahoma Class 2A State Semi-Finals.

We can all pretty much agree that Barry's dad is one of the greatest runningbacks of all-time. Hell, he probably is the best ever. He played on a lot of terrible Detroit Lions teams and yet made them somewhat respectable. That in itself should make him one of the greatest. But I worry about Junior. A lot of people including myself at times are going to expect the kid to be as good or perhaps become better than his dad. It's just not possible. Barry Sr. could do things on the football field only LT and Adrian Peterson could dream of doing.

Unfortunately for all of us the hype around this kid is going to be insane for the next decade. Rivals and Scout websites will be blowing smoke up our asses about how he has better vision than Senior and he is faster. He will be setup with unreal expectations because of his bloodlines. USC coach Pete Carroll will be handing over dead hooker after dead hooker in hopes of enticing Junior into the dark side of South Central. It's going to be sad really.

Pete Carroll will be humming "every single breath you take, every tackle you break, every single day, I will be watching you" as he jerks off to old Naked Gun clips of Nordberg...



Barry Sanders Jr. Video: FanIQ

URBAN MEYER AGAIN STATES "NOTRE DAME IS MY DREAM JOB"


To all the people who doubt Florida head coach Urban Meyer would ever leave Gainesville for South Bend please click on this link, pick the Urban Meyer interview on the scroll board, and fast forward it to the 6:30 mark. The interview is from yesterday with Jim Mandich of Sports Radio 560 WQAM.

I think it has become painfully clear that if Charlie Weis doesn't succeed to some level in 2009 (BCS Bowl game is a must especially with their weak schedule) then Urban Meyer will be the head football coach of Notre Dame in 2010. The perfect storm will happen because Tim Tebow will be finishing off his senior season and riding off into the choppy waters of NFL obscurity while Urban takes a deal at Notre Dame with the hopes of gaining a statue and becoming a legend at Notre Dame Stadium like his mentor in Lou Holtz.

Link HT: Jeff

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

SPORTSCRACK BOWL PICK EM CONTEST


Before you kick off your snow boots and enjoy a cold one feel free to join the 2nd annual Sportscrack Bowl Pick Em Contest. Whomever gets the most points at the end of the contest gets their choice of prizes.

You can either get:
A)$75 worth of Sportscrack Tees and/or Drink Like A Champion Today Tees
B)A Full Size Replica Football helmet of your favorite team(can be NCAA or NFL)

Remember that you are only picking the winners of the bowl games and NOT betting against the spread. You will assign a point value to each bowl game in terms of your confidence level. For instance everybody with half a brain knows Florida is going to blow out Oklahoma in the BCS Title game so assign a ton of points to it.

If you have any questions feel free to email me at matt@sportscrack.com.

Beautiful Beer image above courtesy of Andrew Merriam.

Also, to anybody who won our weekly College Football Pick Em contest during the regular season, please email me at the same address and tell me which week you won along with your user name and we will arrange shipping you your free Sportscrack shirt. If you live in Canada then I'm sorry. No shipping across the border eh!

YANKEES SIGN C.C. SABATHIA TO $160 MILLION DOLLAR DEAL


This deal is wrong on so many levels I figured I would let a guy, actually a great writer named Dave O'Brien who covers the Atlanta Braves for the AJC.com, break it down with this comparison in terms of dollars in what Sabathia will get in New York to what future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux made during his entire career....

Just consider, Sabathia will make more during this deal than Greg Maddux, who retired Monday, made during his entire, spectacular 23-year career. Maddux made about $154 million and won 355 games, recording 109 complete games and 3,371 strikeouts in 5,008-1/3 innings and 740 starts.

Sabathia, 28, has 117 career wins and 1,659 innings.

After going 17-10 with 251 strikeouts in 253 innings this season, he would have to average 16.5 wins and 223 innings for the next 15 seasons to match Maddux.


So congratulations go out to the New York Yankees to getting Sabathia. They give him the richest contract ever for a pitcher surpassing Johan Santana's deal from last offseason and now rely on him to get them a World Series ring. This despite pitching nearly 750 innings the past 3 years and his ever growing waist which will break down his body eventually. Oh yeah, they also offered him a deal reportedly worth more than $60 million more than the nearest competitor for Sabathia's services. In a shitty economy. Now that is smart baseball.

GLEN "BIG BABY" DAVIS CRYING


I don't know how I missed this the other night. Oh yeah, I don't watch much NBA Basketball or really pay attention to it unless it's playoff time or the Atlanta Hawks are involved. Anyways, my buddy Billy pointed out this clip to me of Boston Celtic's Glen Davis, aka Big Baby, losing it after Kevin Garnett got on to his teammates during the Celtics blow out victory over the Portland Trailblazers on Friday night.

What a pussy! I mean come on man, show some fucking dignity. Davis obviously has some personal issues to deal with and I will admit I have cried numerous times in the past but I had good reasons. Women and Notre Dame football can be really painful to the heart. A teammate bitching you out is no reason to cry. Charlie Weis coming back for a fifth season and/or catching a swift kick in the balls from a girlfriend because you say she looks a little chubby lately are perfectly good reasons to shed tears.

If Sean Avery is going to get suspended for 6 games for a sloppy seconds comment then I think the NBA needs to come down hard on Big Baby. 10 games minimum for crying on the bench. It's only fair since athletes are apparently not allowed to express their feelings.

NEW TERMINATOR 4 TRAILER



I think we got a winner here. Christian Bale as John Connor is a perfect match. This film, with the right marketing could do Dark Knight numbers in the box office. If those motorcycles look familiar in the trailer then it's because they bring back memories of Batman's chopper so to speak.

There is no Arnold in this one from what I have heard. He is too busy terminating Prop 8 in California.

Monday, December 08, 2008

NEW MUSIC VIDEO BY ANDY SAMBERG


The same SNL guy who wrote "Dick in a Box" brings this dandy. Not as good as "Box" but "Jizzed in my Pants" is pretty catchy. If you look closely you will see a cameo by Justin Timberlake in the video. Also good to see Meadow get away from Turtle. This song will more than likely be heard at dance clubs all across the country now. If there are dance clubs still. I have no idea, I don't really go out anymore. My sponsor says it's not "conducive" to a healthy lifestyle. Whatever quitter.

ANTONIO BRYANT HAS THE CATCH OF THE YEAR



Before his 9 catch, 200 yard, 2 touchdown performance on Monday Night against the Carolina Panthers the only thing Antonio Bryant could catch were pink slips from past employers for being a malcontent. Tonight he turned in a career performance in a losing effort but this catch has to be one of the prettiest catches I have ever seen live on television.

With the Panthers win it opens the door for the Atlanta Falcons to get back into the playoff hunt. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers fall to 9-4 with a trip to the Georgia Dome ahead this Sunday. If the Falcons can win on their homefield (NFC South is 24-2 on their home turf) then they will be tied with the Bucs at 9-5 and have a really good chance of winning out with Minnesota and St. Louis left on the schedule.

It should get interesting. Somewhere Michael Vick weeps.

TEBOW TAKES DOWN BAMA, OKLAHOMO AWAITS


Video HT: EDSBS

Let me be not certainly the first but one of many to say the bowl matchups blow. Besides the BCS Title game the one game I am really looking forward to watching is the Poinsettia Bowl. Don't laugh. TCU is #11 in the BCS rankings and has a great defense and we all know Boise State who is #9 in the BCS can play with anybody. It's a shame these two programs got shafted into a bottom tier bowl game when they should be given the chance to play in higher payout one such as the BCS. December 23rd just doesn't sound like a date you want to be playing your bowl game on but whatever, the bowl system is corrupt.

I see for some reason the Gaytors are now 3 point UNDERDOGS to Oklahomo according to Vegas. Actually let me change my reaction. I'm completely shocked Tim Tebow would be considered an underdog in a game where he could tear apart a very suspect Sooners defense in the state of Florida. The Sooners are scoring at will but they have yet to face such an athletic and fast defense that the Gators have.

I would scoop up that 3 points and bet heavily for Florida. I'm sure that line has to change(another fucking month till they play) so if you have confidence in the Gators to beat the shit out of Oklahoma like I do right now then bet now.

I feel bad for the Texas Longhorns today. I also feel bad for Penn State, Utah, Boise State, Texas Tech and yes, even USC. All of these teams should be given a chance to play for a National Championship in a playoff system. It's a shame that two of these teams are undefeated(Utah and Boise State) and all the other ones have one loss but were not deemed worthy enough to play in a title game in which both Florida and Oklahoma have one huge L themselves this season.

What do you guys think about the matchups in the bowls? Are you excited? Could you care less and now look forward to watching the NFL where they actually play for a true champion?



At least the college presidents get off on the BCS games like John C Reilly gets off on customer satisfaction...

Saturday, December 06, 2008

GREG MADDUX RETIRES

355 career wins and a career 3.12 ERA get Greg Maddux into the Hall of Fame as a first ballot. Oh yeah, his WHIP secured the first ballot. Ignore his wins and ERA because they don't matter as much as the stat of WHIP. Maddux was an under appreciated superstar pitcher. A pitching nerd in his own right, he won 4 straight Cy Youngs from 1992-95 for the Cubs and the Braves. He will no doubt go into Cooperstown wearing a Braves hat and will be the first "Atlanta" Brave to do so. Remember Hank played most of his career in Milwaukee. The Mad Dog was also in one of the best Nike commercials ever...



Chicks did the long ball. Stat nerds dig the WHIP.

Friday, December 05, 2008

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND FOLKS!

Since I've somehow managed to go the whole week without mentioning the SEC Championship even though it's the biggest game of the year in college football and it's right down the street from my house I feel the need to give a prediction.

The Florida Gators as you probably know come in extremely hot having ripped off blowout after blowout since the tough loss at home to Ole Miss. The X factor in this game for the Gators is Percy Harvin. Will he play is the question? He has a nagging ankle which could either prevent him from playing or limit his Madden-like moves and acceleration(not likely because he is Superhuman as is Tim Tebow). The Gators are 10 point favorites despite playing an Alabama team which has the better defense.

Defense usually wins championships and with big boy Terrance Cody on the line Bama has been able to control the line of scrimmage. Vegas seems to think it will be a blowout but I don't see it that way. Bama can play tough, hard nosed football and will look to control the clock and the line of scrimmage. They have already dominated one top ten team in the Georgia Dome with Clemson at the beginning of the season. Granted Clemson wound up with Dabo Swinney at the end of the year as their head coach. Now that I think about it Alabama has basically been an integral part of 4 head coaches losing their jobs so far. First Tommy Bowden. After that is was Phil Fulmer. Then Sylvester Croom. And finally last week they somehow managed Auburn into thinking Tommy Tuberville wasn't right for them. Auburn officials are morons by the way. So could this be the last game we see Urban Meyer at Florida with an upset in the making? (My ND heart and soul hope so)

NOPE. Florida wins a close one(so take Bama with the points) to advance to the BCS Title game to face the Oklahoma Sooners who will dismantle Mizzou. Remember people, Tebow always gets what he wants...

THE JUICE WAS FINALLY SQUEEZED...

For at least the next 9 years of his aging life O.J. Simpson, USC Trojans hero, will spend time in jail giving his best Heisman Trophy stiff arm to many sexual predators who will in turn admire his starfish. O.J., the esteemed wife beater and murderer, finally got caught and in a classic way got the key thrown away by stealing his own shit. It was good knowing you Nordberg but unfortunately your time has come to leave this place called society...


In light of the Juice going to the can so to speak we are going to lower the cost of our O.J. SHIRT TO $10. It only seems right to honor the fallen USC TROJAN hero who no doubt was inspiration for the future Reggie Bush's and Todd Marinovich's of the cardinal and gold. You surely won't be missed Simpson.

DREADLOCK TAC-KLE!


Rutger's Jordan Brooks might want to get those dreadlocks cut off. Honestly I don't know why more football players don't make these kind of tackles. Isn't the dreadlocks considered part of the uniform nowadays so it's not a penalty if you grab them?

I once had dreadlocks but then I decided I needed to clean it up because of the excessive dingleberrys.

With Rutgers beating the shit out of Louisville last night it pretty much secured a bowl game for Notre Dame in the lovely Texas Bowl against the Rice Owls. Can't wait to watch that on the NFL Network! And yes, I am scared of Rice.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

MLB HOT STOVE THOUGHTS

-The recent trade between the Atlanta Braves and Chicago White Sox has me confused. So the Braves are willing to give up top notch prospects for Javier Vasquez but not Jake Peavy? Vasquez is 33 years old and is on the way down the spiral staircase of his career. He was 12-16 with a 4.67 ERA last season for a pretty good White Sox club. White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, crazy asshole that he is, stated that Vasquez was simply not a big game pitcher. The Braves need to figure out a plan and stick with it. Trading Tyler Flowers (a catcher who was going to be blocked by Brian McCann but could play first or third) was stupid. You could have gotten more for Flowers. He hit 12 homeruns in 20 games in the Arizona Fall League. He is coming into his own and is young. Vasquez is neither. Now apparently the Braves are willing to offer A.J. Burnett a 5 year contract. Burnett is a really good pitcher but the guy has proven he can't pitch a whole season(with the exception of last year). Getting rid of Mike Hampton was smart but acquiring too high priced question marks in Vasquez and Burnett is neither logical nor frugal. Braves GM Frank Wren is way over his head. Either stick with the youth you have coming up in the next few seasons or go all out. None of this nitpicking shit.

-The St. Louis Cardinals acquired SS Khalil Greene for two relief pitchers according to various reports that I am too lazy to link to right now. If this is true then this is a great buy low trade for the Cardinals. Greene was awful last year for the Padres with the bat but his glove is gold and in 2007 he hit 27 homeruns along with 44 doubles at the cavernous PetCo Park. Getting out of San Diego is just what he needed and I think he will have a good season in St. Louis. He is a free agent after the 2009 season so if he has a really good year he could earn Type A or B status and if the Cardinals lose him they still gain a draft pick. Solid trade for the Cardinals here without much risk. These are the type of trades I wish the Orioles would make. They need a shortstop more than any other MLB club but were not willing to give up young lefty Garrett Olson for Greene. It could come back to bite them in the ass as I doubt Olson will ever have much success in the bigs and Greene would mash at Camden Yards.

-The Giants are close to signing SS Edgar Renteria to a 2 year deal reportedly worth $18.5 million. Curious move here for the Giants. They have a young shortstop in Emmanuel Burriss who looks like he can play. In 95 games last year he held his own during his rookie year and managed a .357 on base percentage. Renteria is of course a former All-Star and could be a great addition. The guy can still play and he needed to get out of Detroit. It could become interesting to see what the Giants do with Burriss now. Trade bait for the Orioles?

-The Red Sox gave AL MVP(haha) Dustin Pedrioa a 6 year, $40.5 million dollar contract extension. Good move by the Red Sox. Pedrioa is still young and will be productive for at least the next 3-4 years and you got him signed to below market value in terms of value.

-Still no movement or much talks in regards to the big free agents. You have to wonder how these players are going to get huge contracts when the economy is doing so bad right now. I know a lot of people talk that it shouldn't effect baseball salaries but honestly how could it not? Less people will be attending the games because they simply can't afford it. This has to drive down salaries. Plus more companies are cutting down advertising budgets and one of the first to go will be ballpark and television ad campaigns. Of course none of this matters to the agents. Agents like Scott Boras will still insist the game has never been stronger in terms of revenue and the ballplayers he represent are better than Babe Ruth and Walter Johnson combined. It's true, he has the 300 page book to prove it statistically.

I'm interested in knowing what you guys think about the transactions so far in the slow Hot Stove season. It should heat up next week as the GM Winter Meetings will be held so hopefully there is more news and substantial rumors to be reported. As always if you are looking for the most up to date news on MLB trades and rumors go to Tim Dierkes MLBTRADERUMORS.COM site. It's better than any site out there including ESPN or SI and it's completely free.

BODE MILLER STILL GETTING WORK


You know after the winter Olympics are over we usually don't hear about the "athletes" unless they get caught soliciting a prostitute or holding up a liquor store. It's good to see US skier Bode Miller getting back to his training regimen using some new tactics such as boxing. You know boxing is great for cardio. Also the masseuses are must for any professional athlete.

And Vagisil is awesome for feminine itching. After all "When you're thinking feminine itch, you're thinking Bode Miller."

LANE KIFFIN'S WIFE LAYLA IS A PILF



Our esteemed colleague over at HotSECPoon wonders if Layla Kiffin is Poon worthy. Even at 8 1/2 months pregnant I would say the best thing Tennessee got out of the hire of Lane Kiffin was the wife Layla. Sure Lane could recruit with the best of them at USC but he will have one hell of a job in the SEC conference competing to get kids up in Knoxville. It ain't no Hollywood. Anyways, check out the video linked below to see how uncomfortable Lane looks when they want to get a picture of his pregnant wife. It's almost like he wants to kill the leering guy who suggests it. More than likely it's the Athletic Director. Check it out and tell me what you think...
Blinkx Video: Meet Layla Kiffin, Lane Kiffin's Wife


Poon worthy?

HT: HOTSECPOON

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

MY REACTION TO CHARLIE WEIS COMING BACK

You know, I could write a novel on my thoughts about this whole "schematic advantage" and the "no excuses" and the "6-6 is just not good enough" comments Charlie Weis made in the past and then completed the order with a delivery of bullshit blowout losses on the side. But I'm not going to do it. It just makes me more mad and the wife and dogs are already getting tired of my constant twitch and cursing at random strangers whenever they smile in delight because I still wear my Notre Dame gear out in public.

Hey, I'm a fan till I die and my loyalty stays strong with my teams. So yesterday when I heard word that Charlie Weis was going to be brought back after compiling the most losses in Notre Dame history in back-to-back seasons with 15 I started to feel a little sick. Maybe they were just buying time for the right coach to be available(Urban Meyer, Urban Meyer, please let it be Urban Meyer!) or saving money for the ludicrous buyout it would have taken to fire him (I thought ND was a good business school?) after giving him a ten year extension during his first fucking season but...oh shit...not feeling well...must stop talking about it....


Why didn't anybody tell me...(throws up more)...that Charlie Weis was full of shit?

Please, no more, please, I want to live!

NHL SUSPENDS SEAN AVERY FOR SLOPPY SECONDS COMMENT


"I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about. Enjoy the game tonight."

Sean Avery of the Dallas Stars made this wonderful comment in regards to Calgary Flames Dion Phaneuf dating Avery's ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert. The NHL and Gary Bettman went down on Avery yesterday much like Cuthbert used to and suspended him indefinitely for those comments.

Can't a guy speak his mind?

Those Canadians aren't as liberal as I thought they were. Hey, I know, Avery is a dickhead for making those statements to the press but damn, you have to admit it was a pretty good burn on his part. I would have made the same comments about my ex-girlfriends but luckily they have never figured out how to get out of the well. My love never dies ladies.



Now that is entertainment. Sean Avery is going to bring back the NHL game to the mainstream masses with his mouth and Gary Bettman is an idiot for suspending him for the comment. Let the players settle it on the ice. It's hockey Bettman, not some pussy sport like golf or soccer.


Bettman is just jealous of Avery's sloppy seconds...



HT: Deadspin

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

JON STEWART ON THE PLAXICO BURRESS SITUATION



I actually had no idea Plax was wearing sweatpants when the incident occurred. This just makes the story even more hysterical. Seriously, who wears sweatpants anymore except for people with big asses?

MY THOUGHTS ON THE HALL OF FAME BALLOT


In case you were wondering when the 2009 Baseball Hall of Fame ballot was going to come out it actually came out yesterday. I know, temper your excitement and delight at the names I am about to mention because none of them deserve to be in the Hall of Fame except for one guy: Rickey Henderson.

When Rickey be Rickey is elected he will be the first left fielder to enter the Hall since 1989. Carl Yazstremski went in that year and one of his old Boston Red Sox teammates in Jim Rice is hoping to get in this ballot after just missing the election by a slim margin of 16 votes last year. You are required to get 75% of the votes and Rice has been on the ballot for what seems like an eternity. Which is exactly why he doesn't deserve to be elected. If you couldn't get in within your first 3-5 times on the ballot I don't think you should get in at all. You simply are not a Hall of Famer. It's not for the good players. It's for the great players and in my opinion Jim Rice was never a great player, just a very good one who just happened to play for the Red Sox.

Other guys who will appear on the ballot and my thoughts:

Mark McGwire-Hit a ton of home runs but is a disgrace to the game. He should never get in and the fact that he won't admit his steroid use further indicts his guilt and undeserving recognition as a great in the game. A great home run hitter but nothing more.

Harold Baines-Baines was a DH and a very good one most notably for the Chicago White Sox but he was never a perennial All-Star. I've always like Baines as a player but he was never the superstar in any lineup so he simply isn't a Hall of Famer.

Bert Blyleven-Another really good pitcher who had a solid career and won a ton of games but just couldn't reach the magical 300 career win mark which would seal his approval. It sucks for him but like Jim Rice he has been on the ballot for ages now and there is no reason to put him in now.

Andre Dawson-Dawson was a superstar player in my mind when I was a kid so I have a really tough argument against him not being in the Hall. He was basically the Vlad Guerrero of the 1980's and early 90's. Montreal totally fucked his knees in what could have been an easy Hall of Fame career but his career stats don't get him in. It's too bad because "The Hawk" was one hell of a player.

Tommy John-He was a Yankee right? Oh yeah, never mind, he doesn't deserve it. Jokes aside Tommy John should have his ligament in Cooperstown and nothing else. Just a shriveled up ligament in a formaldehyde jar with the saying "This ligament saved many careers and made billions of dollars for future pitchers in MLB history." That right there is better than some plaque. I've heard John Kruk has petitioned to get one of his nuts in there so why not John's ligament?

Don Mattingly-Donnie baseball was an absolute stud in the mid to late 80's for the Yankees but his career disappeared faster than a plate of meatballs in front of Charlie Weis. A great player for a limited amount of time, Mattingly could have easily been a Hall of Famer but his peak was too short. The definition of a very good player but not great.

Jack Morris-I will never forget this cockbag's performance against the Braves in game 7 of the 1991 World Series. He out dueled future Hall of Famer John Smoltz to win the World Series with a brilliant 10 inning pitching performance. I find solidarity and comfort knowing Smoltz will soon have his plaque in the Hall and Morris will get to look at it as a spectator for the remainder of his life as an outsider. Sorry, I'm still a little bitter about that World Series. F you Lonnie Smith. Oh yeah, not a Hall of Famer. Very good, never great except for that one game.

Dale Murphy-Besides Cal Ripken old Murph was one of my idols growing up in baseball. A two time MVP winner and Rookie of the Year, Murph had a cannon for an arm and one hell of a home run stroke. He just missed the 400 home run mark in his career when he quickly faded with the Phillies and then the Rockies after leaving the Braves. A Hall of Fame person by every means with his community work but not a Hall of Fame player in between the lines. It doesn't matter, Murph will always hold a special place in between my spokes of my old BMX bike.

Dave Parker-Not even worth discussing. Good player but never close to even having a great year let alone a great career.

Tim Raines-Rock was one of the most underrated players of his generation. One of the all-time great stolen base guys, his career was unrecognized because the majority of his great seasons came in the bleak unpopulated caverns of Montreal's Olympic Stadium. He was also under the shadow of Rickey Henderson. Both were the same type of players but Rickey is a baseball great and Raines was always a step below him. Very good player but not a Hall of Fame player. Great nickname though. Cocaine if one hell of a drug.

Lee Smith-If Goose fucking Goosage is a Hall of Famer then Lee Smith is definitely one. But the problem is I don't think Goosage is worthy of being in the Hall. Smith retired the all-time saves leader and should probably be in with this accomplishment on his resume. I have no problem with Lee Smith in the Hall of Fame to be honest with you.

Alan Trammell-A good shortstop for a number of seasons much like Nomar was but he will never get in. Sorry Alan! You and Lou Whitaker were an awesome double play combo but not worthy of Cooperstown recognition.

Ron Gant-The guy had guns and was a consistent 30-30 player but is nowhere near being a HOFer in my mind.

David Cone-Coney was a hell of a pitcher for the Mets and Blue Jays back in the day. If he would have had about 3-4 more solid seasons he would be in Cooperstown no doubt.

Mark Grace-The inventor of the slump buster story where you go out and nail the fatest thing breathing will always hold a special place in my heart but he really doesn't even deserve mention as a HOFer. His slump buster story on the other hand should be taught to minor leaguers and rookies for generations to come.
MARK GRACE WOULD TEAR THIS UP AND THEN RIP A DOUBLE


Greg Vaughn and Mo Vaughn-Both of these cousins could hit the shit out of the ball and enjoyed solid careers and made a lot of money. For some reason I just envision these guys not really caring about making the Hall and rather worrying where they are going to score their next 8 ball. Maybe that is just me though.

Matt Williams-Matty was a great third baseman there for a bit but even he admitted to using some performance enhancers which would be fine if it was for his receding hairline but not his game.

So there you go, just some of the names on the ballot this year. Rickey Henderson is a sure fire first ballot Hall of Famer. It's a shame nobody has ever gone unanimously. It's actually a crock of shit. Henderson could be one of those players who deserves all the votes but he won't get it. He was the greatest leadoff hitter of all-time. He was also the greatest stolen base king of all-time and also has scored the most runs of anybody in baseball history. He is second all-time in walks behind the fraud Barry Bonds and was named the 1990 MVP on top of being a 10-time All-Star selection. No questions asked Rickey should get in easily.

The only other person I might make an argument getting in is Lee Smith. When he retired he led all major leaguers in saves but has now been passed over by Trevor Hoffman and Mariano Rivera who are both HOF worthy themselves. I think Peter Gammons is going to whip out his chowder log and start wacking away trying to make a case for Jim Rice but please don't listen to him. If it were up to him then every single Yankees or Red Sox player who hit near .300 or played in a postseason would be in the Hall.

I'm interested in knowing what you guys and gals think? Did I leave somebody out that should get in?

Monday, December 01, 2008

NOTRE DAME COACHING HAS BEEN LIKE DRINKING PISS FOR THE PAST 15 YEARS


I've heard Urban Meyer pees crystal clear Evian and makes the world a happier place. Just saying!

HOW TEXAS LONGHORNS FEEL TODAY


You know it sucks balls to not only beat your arch rival Oklahoma on a neutral field by 10 points but then you get passed over in the BCS rankings on the last week even though you had the same record thus preventing a shot at the Big 12 Championship and possibly a shot at the BCS Title game. I tried to find some video of Longhorn's fans freaking out, raping and pillaging but then I realized they are not from Detroit. So instead I present this video to display the sense of how every person who wears the burnt orange with pride and flashes the "Hook 'EM" hand signal as often I sport the shocker. Or it actually might be the word I use when if in fact Charlie Weis is retained for another year....

The F word describes pain, pleasure, hate or love. Yep, that pretty much sums it up for Texas fans today. At least all the BCS apologists can sleep better now knowing that the BCS keeps the sanctity of the regular season intact where every game means something. Oh yeah, nevermind, Texas beat Oklahoma. My bad.

WES WALKER WOULD LIKE HIS HEAD BACK

Sunday, November 30, 2008

HEISMAN MOMENT?


Sam Bradford played one hell of a game last night in leading Oklahoma to a 61-41 victory over rival Oklahoma State. With this flip/somersault effort to get into the end zone I wonder if he just had the clinching Heisman Trophy moment especially if Oklahoma gets into the Big 12 Title game?

Friday, November 28, 2008

HOCKEY FIGHT OF THE YEAR?


Derek Dorsett of the Columbus Blue Jackets went fist to fist with Daniel Carcillo of the Phoenix Coyotes two nights ago in what might have been one of the best fights in the NHL in a long time. Carcillo starts off with a flurry of jabs that would stagger most fighters but then Dorsett comes back unfazed to land some damaging jabs himself. Back and forth the fighting and punching goes with back of the head shots a norm and I love the fact that the stripes didn't get in the way and let the two players duke it out till they collapsed down on the ice. I bet some of these fights were the norm this morning at 5 am across America with mothers and fathers grappling for the last Rock Band video game.

Video HT: AOL Fanhaus

Thursday, November 27, 2008

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!


I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving Day to all the loyal Sportscrack heads out there and hope everybody has a great holiday with their family and friends. As a sports fan I don't have a lot to be thankful since all of my favorite teams have struggled mightily the past decade but I am thankful to all the people who come to this blog and read about my daily shenanigans and who decide to support my fix by buying a shirt here and there. Eat a lot of turkey and ham, drink the drink, and stuff yourself till you have to loosen up your belt. And be safe out there.

And to anyone who still thinks the BCS works and doesn't want a playoff because it would ruin the regular season and the bowls, well, I hope you have a great last Thanksgiving you communist turkey.