Monday, August 20, 2007
GOOD COP, BAD COP
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 1:34 PM
Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol..."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
My baseball heaven.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 12:22 PM
I GUESS I WAS RIGHT
With Michael Vick accepting the plea deal, it now appears we won't see Ookie for 18-36 months. It's disappointing to see someone through away so much talent just so they can hang with their homeboys. But I remember when I wrote an article a couple of seasons ago telling the Falcons they needed to trade Vick because he would never amount to shit as a QB.
Well after I wrote the article I got tons of emails telling me I should quit writing and take up midget clown wrestling for the Jerry Springer show. I thought about it, wrote my replies, and basically told people they would know I was right when Vick is a no-good has-been.
Now here we are. Ookie is going bye-bye for a long time.
The Falcons are as much at fault about this whole situation as Vick is himself. They should have never, never, ever renegotiated his contract before it was even close to up. When you are investing hundreds of millions of dollars into an athlete you should investigate all aspects of that person's life. But they ignored the behavior (water bottle incident, flicking off the Atlanta crowd, his posse stealing a watch, dog fighting) because they thought dumb shit Mexico was telling them the truth.
So congratulations Falcons for not being proactive in a sport that requires it everyday. You should have done your research and not traded Matt Schaub or at least drafted a QB (Brady Quinn would have looked really good in black) with half a fucking brain this offseason. Now Falcon fans can look forward to Joey Harrington...damn, this is going to get ugly here in Atlanta.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 11:54 AM